(Closed) Deleted, sorry.

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

What was the fight about? Maybe if we know more we can help you resolve it. It may not have been your fault, but being in the position you are, you need to do something to fix it.

Post # 4
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, at this point,, I think it does matter what the fight was about.  Unless they were doing/saying something terrible about YOU, I don’t think just writing them off is a reasonable option for your Fiance to take.

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

What did your sister do that your Fiance felt disrespected?

Post # 7
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

How do you feel about the argument?  Do you think your sister disrespected your FI?  I think if you do, then you need to express that to your family.  I think your Fiance may also be upset because you aren’t taking a stance on the situation.  

Post # 8
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry, sounds kind of stupid and that maybe your Fiance is being a bit too sensitive without knowing more.  What did your sister do do make him feel disrespected?  Do you believe she meant to do that or is he just taking it the wrong way and being silly.  The part about your dad, does sound rediculous.  Obivously if your Fiance didn’t treat your sister well, your dad is not going to be happy about it, it’s not disrespecting your Fiance.  Ask him how he would feel if he had a daughter a guy was not nice to her, where would his loyalties lie.

Post # 9
Member
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

This sounds like it needs to be a “sit down together in the same room and no one leaves till it’s okay” situation. If you don’t solve this now, you never will.

Post # 10
Member
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@secretbee1234321:   My suggestion is to give it a little time and space just now, but plan for a family meeting to discuss the problem.  If you’ve all gotten along well up until now perhaps apologies are due all around, from both your Fiance and your sister to each other. 

If your family considers your feelings at all in this they won’t want to be on bad terms with your Fiance.  Everyone needs to treat everyone else with respect.  If your sister was disrespectful she should admit so and apologize and vice-versa for your Fiance.  Your parents can either help or harm this situation so it may be a good thing for you to go to them and explain your desire to help patch things up.

There honestly shouldn’t be anything a group of mature adults can’t get together and discuss in a calm and rational manner and resolve.  They really need to – for YOUR sake and also that your future family happiness is at stake.

My advice for you personally is this:  Do not get emotional.  Stay as calm and rational as you can.  Understand that everyone wants to be heard.  Let everyone be heard, everyone is due the same respect in life. 

If you can have them calmly and rationally discuss what happened without any immature emotionalism coming into play you should be able to solve this.  Leave the histrionics at the door; this goes for you as well as for your Fiance.  As Dr. Phil always says, lol, someone has to be the hero and the hero can be you.

I wish you all the best!

Post # 11
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh lord, what a hot mess!  You know, sometimes the wisest thing to do, is remain silent…it’s impossible for you to actually pick a side, because it’s juvenile and you love all of the people, besides, this is all a big misunderstanding and all this posturing about wanting nothing to do with her/him/them is just smoke.

If it were me, I’d would carry on with business as usual and let them figure it out.

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor because she loves me, regardless of her feelings towards Fiance.

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