(Closed) BIG gap between ceremony & reception

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: If we decide to have the wedding at our HS and the reception 1.5-2 hrs away, what's the best way?
    Small ceremony on Friday night and dinner after (just family, bridal party); big reception Saturday : (26 votes)
    37 %
    Small ceremony Sat morning (just family and bridal party) and big reception that evening. : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Invite everyone to both: ceremony Sat morning, reception that evening (1.5 hour drive) : (10 votes)
    14 %
    Find a closer church, despite the sentimental value and you have the best of both worlds. : (29 votes)
    41 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I like the first option since you are having an intimate wedding ceremony. I wouldn’t have a problem as a guest doing a small ceremony and then driving the next day for the reception.

    Post # 4
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Friends of ours did just that this summer. Ceremony at 11am and reception at 5:30-6pm. We were fine with it, it gave us time to get back to the hotel, have a snack and a drink and freshen up before the reception.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    The ceremony is the important part, invite your friends and family.  Expect some to decline or be grumpy about it, but the ones who care will be there. 

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I think your original plan sounds like it would work, but it really depends on who you want to be able to attend which part of your day. How do you feel about having a smaller ceremony?

    Post # 7
    Member
    4439 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    I think your original idea is good, as long as you’re ok with not a lot of people being around for the ceremony and spending extra money if you want to have your hair and makeup done again the next night for the reception.

    If there was that large of a gap between ceremony and reception I honestly would only go to one or the other.

    Post # 8
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    IS there a reason you can’t look for a reception site near the HS church? Maybe even a private room at a restaurant or hangout spot from your HS days (to keep with your theme)

    Post # 9
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Salted_Caramel:  You will get less gifts, people give gifts because they are included in the wedding day, not so much for the reception. If you’re ok with that then go with the first option. I would end up only attending one if the venues were 1.5 hours apart.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I didn’t vote, because as a guest I’m not sure if any of them would be acceptable.

    If you want a small ceremony and larger reception, the only way to do that without offending people would be a private ceremony, which would be your and his immediate families only.  Opening it up to any others is trickier, because you’re giving some friends more ‘importance’ than others.  A wedding is one event, and should be treated as such.  I know I wouldn’t be happy if I were only invited to a reception and not a ceremony, or vice versa.

    Having a gap, especially such a long gap, really isn’t in the best interest for your guests either.  What are they supposed to do in between?  If you host an event in between it might be better.

    Could you opt out of the ceremony at your HS church, and just do everything at your FMIL’s?

    Post # 13
    Member
    1038 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @futuremrsfitz18:  I agree that none of the options are ideal. As a guest, I would be hurt that I wasn’t considered important enough to attend the ceremony but yet you wanted me at the reception.  I would assume you just wanted me to attend the reception in the hopes that I brought a gift with me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4439 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Salted_Caramel:  Could you provide accomodations and entertainment for the family from Friday to Saturday?  Do all of them live so far away that going home and coming back the next day is not an option?  If it’s family we’re talking about I don’t think they would leave or only come to one, but that is a LONG time between ceremony and reception!

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