(Closed) Big penis=vaginal tearing=pain… help! :(

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 61
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Whoops just saw this is 3 years old, I hope it all worked out!

Post # 62
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

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Nlmiele:  A couple of things—1. you should orgasm first. This will make you relaxed, turned on, and more lubricated. 2. the position(s) your in make a difference. Missionary is probably the worst, and may be why your “tensing up” without realizing it. You should spoon so he can rub against you. Sex is just as mental as it is physical. Also, it may help if you get on top and rub against him– dont think about or anticipate penetration or orgasm for him or you (Possibly again) as a goal–just go slow and do what feels good for you. If your on top you can then control the level and intensity of penetration.

Post # 63
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - His Way Church & Chesapeake Room @ Downs Park

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Nlmiele:  I didn’t read through all the comments, but here’s what I’ve got:

Have you been tested for vaginismus? (I’m not saying that you are the one with the problem; I’m sure his size is the main factor here)

His penis isn’t going to get any smaller, however, there may be things you can do for yourself. I would look into a sexual therapist and/or engage in vaginal exercises and getting a vaginal dilator kit. Also, setting aside a good amount of time for foreplay never hurts.

Here are a couple of articles to read up on what I’ve mentioned. Hope they help!

http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/better-sex/specialist/berman/can-the-vagina-be-stretched.aspx

https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/patient-education/how-use-vaginal-dilator

 

Post # 64
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - His Way Church & Chesapeake Room @ Downs Park

Damn. Didn’t realize how old this post was. Welp, if anyone else is having issues with this, feel free to read my post!

Post # 65
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My Fiance is very large and sometimes I can tear, and then it stings. for ages and when I pee it’s like razor blades!, but it doesn’t happen very often, sorry bee, I don’t have any advice for that, you could try toys, and there are a lot of things you can do that isn’t penetrative sex

Post # 66
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

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LeonardLady:  I wasn’t the first to comment, I just saw a thread on the first page of boards and I had advice because I’ve had the same issue. I apologize, but I’m obviously not the only one that did this.

Post # 67
Member
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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mrssjwilliams:  Haha! I didn’t even mean to click on your name! I meant to click on the Stephanie girls name. Sorry! 🙂

Post # 69
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

Ugh.  The title of this thread made me cringe!

Foreplay and lube are your friends.  

I’ve only ever dated one guy who was in that LARGE category and luckily he really knew what he was doing.  He spent lots of time on foreplay (usually oral) and would usually give me an O (or a few) before trying to work it in – so I was pretty relaxed.  He would also put a pillow under my back, use lube and then pay attention to my reactions when he worked it in.  If he sensed that it was getting uncomfortable he would switch back to oral or change positions.  It took me a while to get used to his size and if we went a week without it was like starting over.

Make sure that he understands what you need in order for sex to be enjoyable.  Guide him in how to please you with foreplay and use lots of lube.  

Post # 71
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2017

change your psychology to large penis. You really should be cravingbit thus causing you to lube naturally. Become hornier. Yes it’s possible.

Post # 72
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Extra Virgin Olive Oil was suggested by my nurse practitioner,  and it works. It is safe to use. Put some in vaginal opening and rub some on husband ‘s penis. Keep a bottle in the bedroom.

Post # 73
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Coffee House

This happens to me quite a bit as well. We didn’t use enough lube at first and I tore pretty badly. Ended up bleeding and being sore for 5-7 days. Lube is annoying but it honestly helps like crazy. That and lots of foreplay and a condom to create that barrier so I don’t dry out as fast. Coconut oil is amazing!

Post # 73
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

as for the 30 minute factor, use it then spend 30 minutes messing around and doing other fun things 🙂 afraid that’s my best advice.

 

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