(Closed) big reception party with surprise ceremony

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
10 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

you’re not crazy! my best friend is doing the same thing (surprise ceremony in the middle of reception). I would do it too except she thought of it first. great idea.

you can go either way though, I think. Either wear the dress from the start so when the surprise ceremony comes you’ll be ready, or maybe you and your dad stash away for a few minutes while you prepare.

I think it would really depend on your set up/ reception site. If you have a decent distance to walk (50 feet or more?) you’ll grab everyone’s attention subtly so you won’t feel like a deer in headlights but still have the tradition of walking with your father. By the time that everyone is staring you’ll be next to your husband. -you can also have the music change or cut so that they’re attention will be gathered if the party is really hopping at that point. 

overall- do what you want!!! if you really want to elope or just have a really small wedding, DO IT.     

Post # 4
118 posts
Blushing bee

Hmm, I think it could strike people as a little odd if you tell them you’re already married and invite them to celebrate and then you have another ceremony there. But if it’s what you and your Fiance want then go for it! I’m sure you could find a way to make it work.

For what it’s worth, my bridal shower was 1 week before the wedding and I wanted to cancel the whole wedding after that. I HATED having all eyes on me as I opened gifts and all the attention. However, we had a 75 person wedding and the only people I remember seeing when I walked down the aisle were my husband, my dad who was walking me, the officiant, and my mom. The whole day I was so focused on my husband that I didn’t really notice people looking at me, plus he was there to share in the spotlight. I was a lot more nervous for the wedding I was a bridesmaid in than my own wedding.

Another idea would be to just tell people it’s really casual, stand with your Fiance and greet people/mingle as they come in, and then just start the ceremony at a certain time without any walking down the aisle. That’s how my cousin did it at their backyard wedding and it was very nice and low key.

Post # 5
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m not sure if I understand why you think this would be less pressure than a “real” ceremony? 

To me, that would be a combined version of “oh my God, everybody’s looking at me”, and “Oh my God, I wonder if everybody thinks this is really weird” which is like a double whammy.  I think in an expected ceremony people at least know the typical script and know how to play along.

If it works for you I say do it, but from my own experience, I stressed for months about people staring at me, and the last week or so was thinking about people who get into into a car/sky diving/elevator accidents, and have to miss their wedding and it kinda didn’t seem like a half bad alternative…  My husband was probably actually worried that I was going to run, and offered to cancel the ceremony part all together, and just do it just the two of us.

On the day, it really wasn’t that bad… just felt very surreal and went so fast.  At first I tried to think about myself playing a character of a bride because I thought it would be less stressful, but eventually I just kind of fell into the moment, and all I cared enough was looking at and hearing my husband. 

Post # 7
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Very Interesting!! here’s an idea:

Have the party start, maybe as people are seated to eat, have DJ call you and hubby both up to the front of the room.   Your Hubby will go up, act like he doesn’t now where you are and have DJ announce “does anyone know where our bride is?”  Thats your cue to wlk in with you dad,(music of your choice plays as you walk in) your hubby waiting for you at your set location.  As you reach hubby and everyone is mumbling, trying to figure out what is going on, the DJ/MC can say that although you are officially Mr.& Mrs.  you chose to wait to exchange your personal vows before the friends and loved ones there that day.

Don’t know if you follwed what I wrote, feel free to PM me if you want, but I agree with the other ladies, it’s YOUR wedding, do what makes the 2 of you happy, I thik it will be the one wedding everone remembers.

Post # 9
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I love the idea! I’m having a private ceremony and a big party later. We’re not redoing vows, but will will make a speech or something and perhaps share part of our vows. We’re also considering that since we’ll have pictures, doing a little slide show of our ceremony while we give the speech. But I love surprise ceremonies–I think they’re fun and romantic.

Could your father “introduce” you before you say vows? SOMEBODY has to get everyone’s attention! Too MCish??


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