Post # 1
My sister is throwing me a bridal shower, and she went a little crazy with the facebook invites. She invited Sally, and my family has lost touch with Sally’s family over the years, so they are not invited to the wedding. In addition, Sally’s son got married 6 months ago. We were invited to the bride’s shower, but not the wedding, which I thought was pretty rude. Sally has RSVP’d “maybe” to my shower.
Let’s be real…do we have to invite Sally’s family to the wedding now? I mean, they invited US to a shower without inviting us to the wedding…
Post # 3
i say you don’t have to invite her to the wedding. you sister chose to invite her to the shower, not you, and she shouldn’t have.
obviously she can’t be uninvited to the shower, but where do you see your relationship with sally in the future? if you want to rebuild your friendship, can afford it, and have the space at your reception, you can invite her to the wedding. your motivation for not inviting her to the wedding shouldn’t be retaliation though — she didn’t invite me to her son’s so i won’t invite her to mine. if you can’t afford it, don’t have space, or don’t see yourself being friends with her, that’s fine, but don’t be petty.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2010 - The Atlantic Beach Club
Typically I think if you invite someone to the shower, they should be invited to the weddning, but this seems to be an exception. I personally would feel fine with leaving them off the guest list.
Post # 5
It’s definitely an etiquette no-no to invite people to the shower who aren’t invited to the wedding. The problem is… many people don’t follow it. My Future Mother-In-Law sure doesn’t believe in that rule – she’s throwing me a huge shower with mostly her friends who aren’t coming to the wedding. It’s been a source of stress between my mom and her… but what can you do?
Like you said – Sally invited you to her daughter-in-law’s shower, but not the wedding. I don’t think you’re obligated to invite Sally to your wedding. Many people don’t understand the rules surrounding showers (or have their own rules…) And while I understand that you want to be kind, considerate and appropriate – the shower is out of your control so don’t worry too much about it.
Post # 6
Why is she doing FB invites to a bridal shower?
Post # 7
No, you don’t have to invite her to the wedding. Just don’t expect Sally to actually come to the shower!
Post # 8
If it is an ettiquette faux pas where you live to invite someone to a shower and not the the wedding, then it is your sister’s faux -pas not yours.
I do not think you are obligated to invite to the wedding people you are no longer close to.
As an aside, as I have said before, here it is very common to invite people to the shower and not the wedding, but it is a faux-pas for family of the bride to host the shower.
Post # 9
Update: She made the facebook event “public,” not knowing the difference, so apparently random people saw it on their news feed without being invited and RSVP’d. Thanks, Zuckerberg…awkward!!
She will send out “real” invitations when it gets closer to April, I think she just wanted to give people time to plan their trip here.
As far as the faux pas, I would just feel bad at the shower because people tend to talk about the wedding A LOT at the shower…a wedding she is not invited to.
It’s definitely not a retaliation thing, I’m not upset I wasn’t invited to Sally’s son’s wedding, we’re just not really friends and she’s much older than I am.
Whew, I hope my sister gets the privacy settings changed on the event page STAT! Who knows what other randoms will RSVP!