(Closed) BIG shower no no

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i say you don’t have to invite her to the wedding. you sister chose to invite her to the shower, not you, and she shouldn’t have.

obviously she can’t be uninvited to the shower, but where do you see your relationship with sally in the future? if you want to rebuild your friendship, can afford it, and have the space at your reception, you can invite her to the wedding. your motivation for not inviting her to the wedding shouldn’t be retaliation though — she didn’t invite me to her son’s so i won’t invite her to mine. if you can’t afford it, don’t have space, or don’t see yourself being friends with her, that’s fine, but don’t be petty.

Post # 4
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - The Atlantic Beach Club

Typically I think if you invite someone to the shower, they should be invited to the weddning, but this seems to be an exception. I personally would feel fine with leaving them off the guest list.

Post # 5
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It’s definitely an etiquette no-no to invite people to the shower who aren’t invited to the wedding. The problem is… many people don’t follow it. My Future Mother-In-Law sure doesn’t believe in that rule – she’s throwing me a huge shower with mostly her friends who aren’t coming to the wedding. It’s been a source of stress between my mom and her… but what can you do?

Like you said – Sally invited you to her daughter-in-law’s shower, but not the wedding. I don’t think you’re obligated to invite Sally to your wedding. Many people don’t understand the rules surrounding showers (or have their own rules…) And while I understand that you want to be kind, considerate and appropriate – the shower is out of your control so don’t worry too much about it.

Post # 6
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why is she doing FB invites to a bridal shower?

Post # 7
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

No, you don’t have to invite her to the wedding.  Just don’t expect Sally to actually come to the shower!

Post # 8
47419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it is an ettiquette faux pas where you live to invite someone to a shower and not the the wedding, then it is your sister’s faux -pas not yours.

I do not think you are obligated to invite to the wedding people you are no longer close to.

As an aside, as I have said before, here it is very common to invite people to the shower and not the wedding, but it is a faux-pas for family of the bride to host the shower.

The topic ‘BIG shower no no’ is closed to new replies.

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