(Closed) Big sister criticising EVERY planning decision

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You are ignoring these criticisms, right?

Post # 4
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Uh, tell her to fuck off?

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

If she doesn’t know any details, then she can’t criticise. If I were you, I would let her know in no uncertain terms that, while you love her very much, you would appreciate it if she stopped commenting on your wedding choices from here on out. And then you need to stop giving her ammunition for future criticisims.

Post # 6
45 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

Stop talking to her about the wedding. If she asks, change the subject. It sounds overly simplistic, but the change it makes in your life will be amazing – she can’t criticize your plans if she doesn’t know them.

I learned this the hard way from dealing with our family members who’ve also decided that we’re doing everything wrong. With them, the issue is really that we’re not having the wedding that they would (or did) have. Sounds like this is the issue with your sis, too.

Post # 7
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Stop sharing information with her.

Post # 8
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You can’t put up with this nonsense! I’m not one to recommend unnecessary confrontation but from what you’ve told us, your sister needs to be sat down and told that you aren’t prepared to be dictated to. She might be so surprised to be told to pipe down that she does actually do just that!

ETA – Oh, and yes. Don’t share any more details with her. Keep your plans to yourself. 

Post # 10
114 posts
Blushing bee

“Thank you for your input but Fiance and I have decided that this is what works best for us.” On repeat. 

Post # 11
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ignore her. Please don’t let her bother you. 

Tell her when you want her opinion you will ask… 

And if she is really talking about your so called failures to your family, you should nicely tell her and them that your only failure is listening to her.

Post # 12
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@linnylou_88:  I feel for you~! I’m having similar issues with my older sister and whole family! I mean while it would be great to just cut her out of the planning all together, it’s hard because she’s family and she’s just trying to give “constructive” criticism.

I recently had a conversation with my sister: a heart-to-heart to let her know that while I understand she’s trying to be helpful, her comments are hurtful and discouraging. Maybe a similar conversation will be good for you and your sister. Let her know that you appreciate her opinion but that’s all it is. Her opinion. But this is YOUR wedding. You will make the decisions you need to for your day with your Fiance.

Hopefully, she’ll be a good sister and support you. If not, then you have no choice but to limit her involvement with the planning of your special day. But I hope that you guys can find a common ground. Good luck! 🙂

Post # 14
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yeah, tell her to STFU. Unless she is paying for it, she gets no say. Do what you want to do and tell her to either help with the vision you have or to F-off and let you do this yourself.

Post # 15
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Don’t tell her anything about the wedding. If she doesn’t know anything she can’t give her input on anything.

Also I’m with @vorpalette tell her to fuck off. It’s your wedding not hers.

Post # 16
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

One of my sisters got on my nerves early on (giving me Martha Stewart magazines as if I could possibly do all that DIY but that’s another post), and I told her “if you don’t pay, you don’t play”. Looks like your sister needs a reality check.

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