(Closed) Big Surprise? Meh?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Getting engaged is the big deal.


How he does it is not.


I don’t think ‘quick and dirty’ is the appropriate term for this considering it’s still 4 months away and you’ve been together for a while.  Give the guy some credit.

Post # 4
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

So…I guess I’m not sure I understand. Why isn’t dinner good enough? It sounds like he wanted to surprise you, but can’t really keep a secret. Did he actually tell you he was going to propose or are you just assuming b/c all signs point to yes? I think a dinner and maybe a walk afterwards sounds really sweet.

My proposal was after we got back from vacation…I hadn’t showered, and we were sitting on his couch. He even forgot to get down on one knee. But it was perfect, b/c it was him asking me to marry him. That’s all I needed…

Post # 5
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Are you for real? You don’t even know for sure he’s going to propose anyways so you are jumping the gun on this one.  You also don’t know how or where – it may not even be at that dinner.  It’s the 4 little words that make the moment special, not how grandiose an event it is.  

Post # 6
121 posts
Blushing bee

@awolfpaw:  May I point out that just because he says he is planning dinner doesn’t mean that’s all it is. He could be saying that to throw you off. And if it is just dinner, that’s ok – he obviously wants some quality time alone with you in a place that he loves. A proposal AND dinner – sounds fantastic!

I don’t think you pressured him into marriage, as you may think. But he IS under a lot of pressure to make the proposal special. I talked to my bf about engagement and he said he’s freaking out about the actual proposal. Its scary for them, so give the guy a break 🙂

Post # 7
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand where you’re coming from. He tells you it’s taking a while because he’s trying to make this perfect surprise, and then you find out the “perfect surprise” that took months to come up with was…a dinner.

My guess is you would have been thrilled if you didn’t know it was coming at all and he proposed at dinner, but after wondering “what’s the hold up?” and being told something that was taking a long time was in the works you’re a little let down.

First, the dinner may be a decoy for something else. He just doesn’t want you planning anything for that time, and telling you he has a dinner planned is a way to block out that day.

Second, even if it is dinner, keep it in perspective! He’s asking you to marry him! Maybe he was just working up his nerves for a month, or wanted it to be in a specific place, or who knows, but focus on the fact that this guy wants to marry you, not when or how he does it. 🙂

Post # 8
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Blanche:  Getting engaged is the big deal.How he does it is not.

I love this comment! Great outlook. Our proposal was very simple and several people I told the story too were unimpressed, which made me sad inside for a while. Then I realized that I was engaged and we are happy and that was all that mattered! Since then, I have been a fan of the more simple, low-key proposals.

Post # 9
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I kinda get what she is talking about. It’s like when you are promissed Macy’s 4th of July fireworks spectaular and you get a handheld sparkler. still pretty. still cool. not the same.

I kinda do want a big proposal…or at least want one or two people i know there. Please someone be there to take a picture. Please let my SO have enough forsight to see that I want a public proposal. But he can’t the way i want anymore. He’s in a band and the lead singer proposed to his gf after a concert on stage (she’s a total cunt, btw) and so He can’t do that for me…or at least i wouldnt want him too. Sucks for me…

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