(Closed) BIG Thank you “No No” – Help pls?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d say do it now and just apologize for the delay – people will understand.  

Good luck!

Morgan 

Post # 4
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

OK, so you’ve sent out half the thank you notes, so that leaves how many remaining?  50? 75? 100?  Sit down every night this week with your husband and write 25 per night (marathon!), and send them out each morning.  Just get them in the mail, and feel the weight lift off your shoulders.

Don’t belabor the point of them being late in your notes- I know you’re feeling embarassed, but don’t worry.  People haven’t been waiting at their mailboxes every day just dying to get your note, and cursing you each day they didn’t arrive.  ๐Ÿ™‚  People understand that life gets in the way sometimes.  They don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be done.

Just say something like Dear Mr and Mrs. So and So,  We’ve been meaning to write to you for ages, but newleywed life has been such a whirlwind!  It was so great to see you for the wedding weekend; I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in my entire life, and it was wonderful to see all of our families and friends joining together to help us celebrate.  We absolutely love the new blender you gave us, blah blah blah.  Love, Us

Post # 5
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I’d consider this a "better late than never" thing. Bite the bullet, perhaps make a little joke about how late it is in the thank you, and do it. I like the idea of a one year update too!

Post # 6
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I believe, according to ettiquette, you have one calendar year to send out your thank you’s, so you’re still okay!  Better late than never!  I agree that you should sit down each night and do a certain number until they are done…

You can do it!  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 7
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Definitely do not just "let it go". I’ve been to a few weddings and never received a thank you, and it really irritates me. I feel like if the bride never had the courtesy to even thank me, I wasted my time and money going to her wedding. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. Just pound them out with a profuse apology about "you know how time gets away from us, but I wanted to let you know that I truly appreciate your generosity".

If it bothers you now, it will bother you 10 years from now that you never thanked those people for your gifts. I think you really should just do it asap! You’ll feel much better!

Post # 8
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I agree that you should just do it.  I think especially since you sent some already. You might have a situation where one sister got her thank you, and another didn’t.  So sending it late is better than just dropping it, and not sending at all. 

It sounds like, the idea of having a year is a myth.  There still seems to be a discrepency, but they agree a year is too long. (I checked out a couple of sites.)http://www.brides.com/etiquette/family_friends_guests_etiquette/qa/detail/3277/

http://ourmarriage.com/html/thank_you_cards.html

The good news is that this is a common mistake. So maybe some of your guests don’t see this as bad etiquette.  Or if they do, hopefully they’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t.  They’re probably just thinking you forgot.  But it’s still nice to follow through.  I like jhphi’s suggestion.

Post # 9
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

No big deal, imo. Just do it now. I have a feeling that people really don’t care if it’s late! They just think it’s so nice to even get a thank you note. So just mail them when you get a chance.

Post # 10
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Agreed that it’s better late than never.  Definitely just say you’re so sorry for the delay, really appreciated their gift, and we’ve been using it all the time and thinking of you, etc etc.  It’ll be fine, but definitely better to do it than "let it go"

Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Definitely send them! I sent a gift for a wedding once and never got a thank you note. I wasn’t insulted or anything, but I did wonder whether the couple ever recieved my package. I figured they did, but I will never know since it wasn’t acknowledged.

Post # 12
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Monty900 – I so agree.  I took a gift to a wedding and never recieved a thank-you.   It was less about not recieving the thank you note and more about me wondering if they got it, or if they got it, but not the card, etc.

Post # 14
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Just a little story from a guests perspective:

My parents went to a wedding last summer and gave a card with cash.  They didn’t get a thank you card for months and they thought that their card had been stolen.  They were in an awkward position becuase they didn’t want to ask if the couple had gotten the card and look like they were looking for a "thank you" but they also didn’t want the couple to think they hadn’t given them anything.  About 10 months after the wedding, the Thank You card arrived and my parents were happy to find that no one had stolen the card.

Post # 15
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My mom did not say thank you for a gift she was given when I was born.  She had every intention to, but time went on.  She thought it was too late.  Now here we are 31 years later and she still feels guilty!

Post # 16
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I never got a thank you for a wedding gift I sent.  It was about 9 months ago.  I’d still appreciate it if the bride and groom sent a thank you, just to know they got the gift and appreciated it.

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