(Closed) BIG Thank you “No No” – Help pls?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would totally send the remainder.   People will be appreciative of recieving it regardless of when it was sent.  I still remember brides that didn’t send thank yous….

for the ones that you filled out but never sent, just write on the outside of the envelope "sorry this is so late!"  or "look what I found hiding in bag in the corner of the office" something cute!  My aunt did this when she got married it said "These were hiding at the bottom of my beach bag with left over honeymoon sand — don’t tell my new husband!"  It was adorable. 

Post # 18
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think you already got this covered and are working on your TY’s, but I just wanted to say that I was in my friends wedding almost 3 years ago and got her a $200 gift, flew to her wedding, purchased a dress, etc etc- spent at least $1000 on it- and she never sent a Thank You. Her parents put me and my friend (other MOH) up in a hotel and paid for it, and I sent THEM a thank you the week AFTER the wedding- a gift, no less. But never anythign from my friend. She did write me a card that she gave me AT the Rehearsal Dinner, thanking me for being a bridesmaid, etc, so I don’t know if she thought that counted, but I always thought it was ungrateful to never send a real thank you after the wedding. Even though it’s been 3 years, I would still appreciate a "better late than never, sorry it took me so long, wanted to let you know how much we appreciate/d the gift, and being in our wedding". It’s not even so much about etiquette for me; I just feel like it didn’t matter much to her since she never took the time to thank me. So, DEFINITELY SEND THE THANK YOU’s!! If you feel awkward about the time, just apologize it took you so long to send them! 

Post # 19
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Send them! Otherwise you’ll become one of those ‘tacky wedding stories’ that people share when the topic comes up like "One time I got this couple a really nice gift and they never sent a Thank you"

P.S. I know the bride normally sends out thank yous, but seriously it’s a gift to both of you! Why the husband gets to escape this task is beyond me.

Post # 20
29 posts

People don’t remember when they receive the note, all they remember is if they don’t receive it. Don’t worry about it! I was really embarrased about it taking me two months to finish my shower invitations (you are supposed to get them out in two weeks!). I apologized, but nobody really seemed to care that they were late. My dad is still humiliated 38 years later that he never sent thank you’s for his bar mitzvah. Just get them done instead of fretting, trust me, you will feel so much better. Also, make your husband help you. It is not just the brides job anymore.

Post # 21
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Please don’t wait any longer.  Yes, etiquette says you are very late on these (no, you don’t have one year, that is wrong, like Tanya said), but really, it is never too late to say thank you! 

Post # 22
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I just got a thank you note from a January wedding.  I didn’t find it upsetting at all.  I think we all know that life happens.  Please don’t feel embarassed!

Post # 23
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Thank you for this post!  My shower was May 2 and I still have my pile of completed and addressed, just not stamped, thank yous sitting next to me.  The wedding is next Saturday.  Tomorrow I’m going to go out and get a cute little notepad so I can slip in little messages and send them out.

Post # 25
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

darn it I was gonna post but seriously it’s been 2years since anyone commented .. i’m thinking the issue is resolved.

Post # 26
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just talked with my mom this weekend who send an extended family member a gift card (for shower) and substantial check (for wedding) about 3 mos ago.  The check has not been cashed and no thank you note has arrived for either one yet.  She is now  worried that they have been stolen.  So moral of the stroy, cash checks in a timely fashion and write thank you notes like Emily Post suggests.

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