(Closed) BIG wedding drama with fiancé….!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I bought some inexpensive Save the Dates from Vistaprint for $15.  I bought a Livingsocial deal for $15 for $50 worth of products from Vistaprint, and was able to get 80 STD post cards with white envelopes for $15, which included shipping and tax.  They’re color printed on one side and black and white on the other.  I went with the cheapest paper option, but I don’t mind, since people will just throw them away after the wedding anyways.  

Post # 4
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh, I also put our wedding website (which was also free) on the Save the Date cards, so people will learn more about the wedding and where we are registered.

Post # 5
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Well first, STD’s should not have registry information in them. Actually, nothing should have registry information except for possibly your wedding website. It is supposed to be spread by word of mouth.

Secondly, your Fiance and you need to be figuring this out together. It sounds like you and your Fiance need to have a discussion about taking this on as a team. Unless your Future Mother-In-Law is paying for the wedding, her opinions, while helpful sometimes, don’t really matter. It sounds like you are less upset about the STD’s, and more upset by the fact that he is changing his mind based on what her mother said.

In my opinion, it does seem a bit silly to send STD’s when most people know your wedding date, but it’s your wedding. I think a good compromise might be just to send them to people who will be coming from out of town.

Post # 6
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

1. People will find out where you’re registered by asking. If you’re having a wedding website, put it on there, and put your website on the save the dates (if you send them), and you can put a little info card with the invitations that have your website on them.

2. You don’t HAVE to send save the dates. We did, and the people who got them STILL ask when our wedding date is, among other questions that are easily answered by our wedding website. 

Why is your Future Mother-In-Law against save the dates?

Post # 9
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think this is worth getting mad about.

I figured we’d send Save-The-Date Cards, but my Fiance thought they were a waste.  There are other things that are much more important to me when it comes to how we spend our wedding budget than that, so that’s a battle I just chose not to have, and we won’t be sending them.

In the age of FB and email, there are plenty of ways to communicate when your wedding is and where you are registered.  Perhaps it’s best to just let this one go. Keep in mind, when your parents and Future In-Laws were married, no one sent Save-The-Date Cards, hence why your Future Mother-In-Law probably sees them as a waste of money.

Post # 10
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Save the dates arent 100% necesary. The ONLY reason I sent them is becauze my friend cancelled her wedding but had a credit with a company and they wouldnt let her have the money back but let her transfer the money to me which was way nice. But if that hadnt happened we prob wouldnt have done them either. I dont think its a fight I would have with Fiance. 

Post # 11
Member
1608 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I do not like Save-The-Date Cards.  They commit you to inviting those people, even if your priorities change. 

Post # 12
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Whitney1025:  Then just send them to your side. You save money and get your way. Boom.

Post # 13
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We sent email save the dates…it was free!  Is that an option for you?  It wouldn’t cost anything except your time, and you can include a link to your website in the email.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Your date is only about 6 months out. How soon do you plan on sending out your invitations? It might be close enough that the STD is unnecessary. From what understood, Save-The-Date Cards are most practical for long engagements and/or destination weddings, when people need to remember for a long time when the wedding is going to be, or need lead time to save money/make travel arrangements.

If it keeps the peace to send them only to your side, or only to out-of-towners, it’s worth compromising on. And a little practice in the art of compromise serves everyone well as you prepare for marriage.

Post # 16
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

maybe I’m overreading, but you just keep on mentioning that registry. As an fyi, you do NOT print registry information ANYWHERE. It’s a word of mouth or website only thing.

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