(Closed) Big Wedding Party vs Small – Help! Give me pros and cons!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How big should my WP be?
    5 - keep it small and sweet : (62 votes)
    89 %
    8 - include everyone : (8 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Keep it small.  Larger means more clashing opinions, more wedding party gifts, more stress from co-ordinating. Small is easier to keep organized.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    How many guests are you having at your wedding? And how many of them are friends?  It’s hard enough coordinating everyone with 5, I can’t imagine doing it with 8. I think that if you have 4 absolute best friends, you should just stick with them and invite the others as guests (especially since two will have to travel). They can still be invited to your bachelorette if they would want to attend.

    I wouldn’t go with 8 bridesmaids unless you have 300+ coming to your wedding. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    8151 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    the 3 other girls don’t have to be BMs, you can give them another job at the ceremony to honor them.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    4525 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Pros:

    -lots of help

    -lots of opinions

    -lots of people to have fun with

    Cons:

    -lots of “help”

    -lots of differing opinions

    -lots of people to organize and coordinate schedules with

     

    I vote smaller party.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I guess my point is, how many friends will you be inviting that wouldn’t be in the wedding party if you had 8?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    5 was perfect for me.

    Less drama!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Keep it small.  WAAAAY less drama, less alternate opinions floating around, less mess, less crazy,

    I have TWO bridesmaids. Count that, TWO.  And for me, it was the perfect number. They work together beautifully, are very helpful, get along, and are everything bridesmaids should be. 

     

    I think the bigger the wedding party gets the crazier it gets.  Too many alternate opinions out there and suddenly the bride melts down.   Not everyone has to be a big part of your big day, they can still be there and take part in it as a guest.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    8701 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have 6 and it’s been fun. They are all getting along well. Yes, there are some that are more helpful and/or giving than others but I really dont “expect” anything from them other than to show up. If you think all 8 would get along and can get it together to order dresses and stuff then do what makes you happy. After all, it is your day. Where in NJ is your wedding? I’m curious since I live here.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2334 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    to me 5 is a lot anyway so 8 is extreme! haha! id keep it small, too many cooks spoil the broth type thing -too many opinions etc, can get a bit much!! but its your day, so id go with what u really want deep down. the + side to 8 is more people the morning of etc getting ready and having fun, goofing round, bigger atmosphere if that makes sense (not that it wont be like that with 5 though!!!) down side is more expensive!!!!!!! good luck your lucky you have so many extremely close friends to consider!

    Post # 14
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    @JrzyGurl:  I ended up choosing 9 BMS because I did not want anyone to feel left out, and it has actually been AMAZING. I was able to include my Fi’s sister, my cousin, and friends from college and high school, so I have people representing groups from all seasons of my life.

    Pros:

    They decided to divide up and throw me several smaller showers in addition to one big one, so it’s been fun to have multiple events to attend. Since they are from different places, my hometown girls are throwing one there, college friends threw a couple there, etc.

    More people= less cost per person. The showers have not been so burdensome (at least I dont think) because they are not expected to attend each one and they dont have to chip in as much money. They are also sharing hotel costs too.

    More people= more availability to help with wedding related tasks. I’ve invited different BMs to different events..Some were there to help me pick out my dress, some are helping me address invitations, etc. And it’s fun, because we bond in smaller groups in addition to in the big BP group.

    Everyone feels included, and being a BM in my opinion, makes you feel more invested in the bride’s big day. You understand that she recognizes you as one of her closest friends, and having a large bridal party had actually strengthened my friendships with those girls.

    Cons:

    -More money on bridesmaids gifts

    **Bottom Line: It’s YOUR wedding. Have as many or few as you want. I too am having about 150 people at my wedding. When I picked my BP I heard the rule (Pick one BM for every 30-50 guests). That just didn’t work for me. Following that rule I could only have 4 girls. There was no way I could cut people out just to follow some “rule.” It’s my wedding, and I am doing it my way.

    Additionally, I have not experienced any of the drama or heartache that it seems many people have with large wedding parties because these girls truly are ALL my close friends. It’s not been hard to keep in touch with everyone either..Get group text/email, and send out mass messages when you need to get a lot of info out.

    Frankly having a large BP has been the most fun part of planning my big day thus far. I love having different girls to bounce things off of, and if three or four girls can’t make it to an event– no big. I have 6 other BMs who CAN come. (just a small perk)

    Post # 15
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    @JrzyGurl:  I ended up choosing 9 BMS because I did not want anyone to feel left out, and it has actually been AMAZING. I was able to include my Fi’s sister, my cousin, and friends from college and high school, so I have people representing groups from all seasons of my life.

    Pros:

    More people= less cost per person. The showers have not been so burdensome (at least I dont think) because they are not expected to attend each one and they dont have to chip in as much money.They decided to divide up and throw me several smaller showers instead of one big one, so it’s been fun to have multiple events to attend. Since they are from different places, my hometown girls are throwing one there, college friends threw a couple there, etc. They are also sharing hotel costs too.

    More people= more availability to help with wedding related tasks. I’ve invited different BMs to different events..Some were there to help me pick out my dress, some are helping me address invitations, etc. And it’s fun, because we bond in smaller groups in addition to in the big BP group.

    Everyone feels included, and being a BM in my opinion, makes you feel more invested in the bride’s big day. You understand that she recognizes you as one of her closest friends, and having a large bridal party had actually strengthened my friendships with those girls.

    Cons:

    -More money on bridesmaids gifts

    **Bottom Line: It’s YOUR wedding. Have as many or few as you want. I too am having about 150 people at my wedding. When I picked my BP I heard the rule (Pick one BM for every 30-50 guests). That just didn’t work for me. Following that rule I could only have 4 girls. There was no way I could cut people out just to follow some “rule.” It’s my wedding, and I am doing it my way.

    Additionally, I have not experienced any of the drama or heartache that it seems many people have with large wedding parties because these girls truly are ALL my close friends. It’s not been hard to keep in touch with everyone either..Get group text/email, and send out mass messages when you need to get a lot of info out.

    Frankly having a large BP has been the most fun part of planning my big day thus far. I love having different girls to bounce things off of, and if three or four girls can’t make it to an event– no big. I have 6 other BMs who CAN come. (just a small perk)

    Post # 16
    Member
    1654 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I only had 2 BM’s and that was annoying enough- I thought it would be easier with 2, and it really wasn’t- they still complained about money, complained about dress ideas, and well, really weren’t that helpful witht the actual wedding most times (although, I will say that I did receive a very nice shower and bach party 🙂

     

    I voted for 5, but can also see your want to include the others.

    The topic ‘Big Wedding Party vs Small – Help! Give me pros and cons!’ is closed to new replies.

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