Post # 1
I don’t know what to do. We start all these ideas for a big wedding but in reality we aren’t big party kind of people. From what I have figured out the last few days, we need to focus on doing this all on our own because parents will not be able to help much. Also..we have been together 8 years, so honestly it doesn’t even seem appropriate to do a huge wedding (any opinions?)
We are working on saving towards a house and are working with the bank for a grant program to help with the down payment. When we think about it, it is going to be much more important to put money towards a house (most likely buying one with SOME fixing up necessary) instead of blowing it on a big wedding that neither of us seem to want.
When my fiance mentions doing Justice of the Peace and having a big reception/party later, I kind of want to but then again feel like I would still like to do it all at once, but nothing too formal/extravagant.
Thoughts/suggestions/similar stories please?
Post # 3
Wow, I’ pretty sure I could have written this.
My Fiance and I are in the same boat- at first we wanted the big wedding, but came to realize that we aren’t very showy extravagent people. Our style would much more be a small church ceremony with a dinner out and a bbq later on with our other family members and friends.
I understand that it’s a difficult choice, and the one we are struggling with is what people are going to say, and how people are already planning for our date(the one next to my name) We even already have a venue on hold…
But the way I see it is that it’s YOUR and your FI’s day… not anyone elses. If you’re worrying about not giving people the party,or giving people a good time- then don’t do it that way. Do it the way that feels RIGHT to YOU. I also see it as saving a bunch of money, even if we lose the deposit on our venue, which we very likely will, we are still saving thousands and thousands of dollars. It’s a day about the love between my Fiance and I, and we don’t need a big thing to show people that we love eachother. A big thing just isn’t us.
Post # 4
I knew I did not want a big wedding, and neither did my husband. We did a small wedding with only our immediate families and their SO’s and it was perfect. I wouldn’t have done it any other way!
Post # 5
In retrospect, our wedding could have been smaller and it would have been fine. It wasn’t even large to begin with (about 80 people showed, 100-ish invited.) I’ll be honest, a JoP ceremony wouldn’t have been enough for me.
Our wedding was VERY casual, mid-afternoon, no dancing or dj, and cost us less than 9K. We got the pictures we wanted and the family involvement we desired, and didn’t break the bank. Plenty of budget wedding occur and NOT just out of necessity! Some of us chose them, nothing wrong with that, so if that’s what you want then go for it. You can afford the house AND the wedding if you are dedicated to your budget. 🙂
Post # 6
@future_schu: The good news is we haven’t signed a contract/put any money down. We were supposed to be picking up a check for the down payment from my parents and then end up bombarded by well….what about something cheaper. Long story short- other things came up they decided to purchase, realized they can’t give what they “would like to” and it’s not worth it to stress about money.
Thanks for your honest input 🙂