(Closed) Big weekend coming up….trying to not get my hopes up

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was the same way last summer whenever any big events were coming up, I even mentioned to a close friend about how nice it would be if he proposed at “so and so event”. He’s not a very public person so I never in a million years expected other people to be around let alone happen at his police academy graduation, I even joked with said friend about how cool it would be if he did that since someone proposed at our college graduation in May. Knowing how Fiance is, I did not want to get my hopes up but everytime I saw him those thoughts popped in my head. I went into the weekend thinking, Hey! That would be really awesome, but put it out of your mind and enjoy the weekend. I really did put it out of my mind the best I could … I had to force myself to focus on a particular thing and bring myself back to “focus” when I started to think about it and wonder… so much that when it actually happened I was at a loss for words and almost took off in the other direction. lol

 

I hope that you have an amazing weekend with your SO, and if it happens, that is fantastic! Either way I’m sure you will have a beautiful weekend and just embrace each other’s love for one another. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with dfontaine07!

I’m also in the same boat as you (leaving this Monday to Aruba!!!) but I’ll try not to get my hopes up because no matter what I want to have an awesome vacation! 

Good luck and fingers crossed πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Dont feel bad about only having been dating a year.  My boyfriend and I have only been together 9 months…. but when you know you know!  Why wait around to get started on what you know will be amazing!

I would just go and try to have fun!   And not worry about getting engaged.  I am sure that the second you stop thinking about it, it will happen πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I can totally relate to not wanting to set expectations for every trip. It sounds like you have an amazing weekend planned so as hard as it is, just take a deep breath and try not to focus on the “will he propose now” question. It’s not easy, but it would be worse to come out disappointed. Focus on how much fun you’re having and how wonderful your SO is. 

Now if I was able to take my own advice…Wink

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

hey cali!  I ruined many a dinner/weekend trip over the few months my now-FI had the ring but was waiting to propose.  I was expecting it (well, desperately hoping for it!) every time we went to dinner or away for the weekend.  I felt SO ANXIOUS and we actually fought about it a few different times, particularly when we went to Costa Rica right after Christmas.  December and January were rough months for us, lol. Don’t do that to yourself!!

My now-FI ended up catching me totally offguard (he proposed in a city that he wasn’t even supposed to be in when I was there!), and it was so amazing and memorable because of that.  I had even told him he would not be able to surprise me – but I guess he accepted that challenge (and won!).  So even though it would be great if your bf proposed next weekend, it would also be great if he caught you totally offguard and surprised the heck out of you!  If I were you, I would try to tell yourself that he is NOT going to propose next weekend, and just enjoy the trip without the ring.  And if he does, added bonus!  But try not to let it ruin the trip!  That ring will be on your finger soon enough! 

Post # 10
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I’m in the same boat, I never got apprehensive about any vacations we took until our one year anniversary. We even took a little weekend trip for our anniversary and I was kinda hoping it might be that weekend but it wasn’t and that was fine. For the past month though I’ve really really had engagement fever and I’m getting a little bit of anxiety about some upcoming trips we have planned. We are going to Charleston in July (we are going the same weekend we went last year so its a sentimental trip) and the big one is an international trip in September we are still plotting the destination to. We’ve been dating for a year and two months as of now, by the time these trips come about it will be a year and a half and a year and eight months or so (not that anyone’s counting) πŸ˜‰

I would also advise just enjoying the trip but of course its easier said than done. If it doesn’t happen just realize he may be wanting to surprise you and maybe with such a romantic vacation already planned it might not be as out of the blue as he wants. (these are also things I tell myself too when my brain gets overloaded thinking it might be the time)

Post # 11
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cali_cat:  Try not to get your hopes up and just enjoy yourself!! I really thought I would be getting engaged on my one year dating anniversary this past October. We didn’t get engaged that night but had a lovely evening that I ended up ruining bc I was upset ab the non engagement! Then my birthday was a week later and I told myself to just enjoy the weekend bc my SO and I had a lovely time planned, I just enjoyed it and relaxed which was great! I didn’t end up getting an engagement ring that weekend either (but did get a gorgeous pearl necklace and earrings) but I had a GREAT time and just enjoyed my 27th bday with the love of my life. Then ab a week or two after that I got the best proposal I could have imagined and now our wedding is just 3 months away. Sit back, relax and enjoy and it will happen.

Post # 13
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cali_cat:  Oh bummer! But it’s good that you had a good weekend anyway. It’s difficult when everyone in your life has expectations for your engagement. Good for you for deciding to not let other people ruin this time for you! 

Post # 14
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cali_cat:  At least you were able to enjoy the weekend!  But it does suck to come back and have people wonder if you got engaged.  When we got back from Spring Break (both teachers) i had a ton of people looking at my fingers.   Especially since one of the people in my department did get engaged!  

But i know everyone will be just as excited when it actually does happen πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
2411 posts
Buzzing bee

Awww… sorry it didn’t happen this time.

 

FWIW I think the fact that you’ve already talked about it, and you both agree it’s definitely happening — it’s not an “if,” it’s a “when” — is more important than the timing of the actual proposal. Especially considering you’ve been dating “only” a year so to speak. Some Bees wait years to get to this point with their SOs.

I understand your frustration though! Darling Husband was very committed to me and from early on was talking about us having a long future together. When we hit the one year anniversary, it was Christmastime, and he was dropping marriage hints — but Christmas, New Year’s and Valentines Day came and went with no proposal.

I think it was March or April before we had the “let’s get married” talk, and we ended up getting married on our two year anniversary.

I hope you had a great weekend though… I’ll bet your time is coming real soon! Hang in there and enjoy your wonderful courtship days in the meantime!

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