(Closed) Biggest Etiquette blunders you’ve encountered?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 137
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

 

My broher got married in a very small & unique ceremony with a low key reception. Rather than hire a videographer, he put a camera in a corner to record the whole room. Everyone thought this was a great idea, except for perhaps my aunt…

She spent the ENTIRE RECEPTION standing next to it, loudly talking trash about everyone and everything there, from the couples attire to the cake to family gossip.

Needless to say, the tape is now a family heirloom

Post # 138
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@JacquelineM:  OMG that’s too funny, but a HUGE blunder!!! 

Post # 139
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@Mrs.Oat: I’ve been to lots of showers like that! I didn’t think it was bad, its not like they’re asked to fill out the card

Post # 140
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@Thrakena: You set some pretty high expectations for people- some people maybe don’t see the point in spending extra money on 2 envelopes or don’t see a problem with address labels. Personally, I went balls to the walls with my invites but when I got an invite from my cousin a week later with all the things you mentioned, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it or it was embarrassing- I just figured they didn’t care about invites very much.

Post # 141
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Thrakena

I don’t think any of that is bad.

Post # 142
Member
40 posts
Newbee

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@Thrakena: Sorry, but I have to agree with your Future Mother-In-Law and the others who have responded. I don’t see an “etiquette blunder” here, but rather a difference in preference. Nothing I send out will be hand-written because the Fiance and I have terrible handwriting (and I’m definitely not paying someone to write people’s addresses on an envelope they’re just going to throw away). The postal service can appreciate a nicely printed envelope.

I didn’t know stamps were such a big deal. Again, isn’t what’s important that it arrived to the intended person? What would you have prefered? That they pay extra for personalized stamps? I say kudos to them for saving cash any way they can by using the Forever stamp. Smart thinkin! And…I had to Google to find out what a machine canceled stamp is. I didn’t realize there was a way to avoid this?

Using different fonts also seems like a difference in preference. Have you ever seen someone walking down the street in a hideous/trashy/frumpy outfit and thought, “OMG!?” but they thought they looked awesome? It’s just a difference in preference and it’s their wedding, so apparently they thought it looked good that way.

No liner, no insert, no RSVP? Seriously? I agree with the others – While it looks beautiful, it’s a terrible waste of paper, and (more important to me) money. Not all of us have truckloads of money pouring onto our front lawn. Apparently to this couple, the “fanciness” of the invite wasn’t of extreme importance. Maybe they chose to scrimp a bit in this area in order to provide the guests (you) with a bit better food, or some other upgrade.

I would just encourage you to try and be happy for the couple and remember that it’s their day and they’re doing it the way they want. It might not make sense to you, or be the most beautiful presentation, but to them, it works. I’m in a similar boat to most on this website — I’m paying for my own wedding and the money I have is it. I refuse to go into debt for 1 day. Thankfully the Fiance and I are both very tech savvy and creative/crafty, so (IMO) our day/invites, etc will be rockin! But maybe this couple wasn’t as techy and to them, they were proud of what they were able to work together to produce.

Jus’ sayin. Cool

Post # 143
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Went to a child’s birthday party at a restaurant and paid for my own food.

Went to a baby shower at a SUSHI restaurant, where I was asked to please only order the 50% off rolls and water.

Going to wedding shower hosted by the groom’s family.

Un-invited from a wedding due to cost.

Bridesmaid requested that if I got her nails done as a gift, she didn’t want “cheap” nails.  Then she gave me the name of her nail lady.

 

That’s all I can think of for now ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 144
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh. People responding via facebook ticked me off more than anything…why did I spend so much on stamps for the return envelope? And it was hard to keep track of everyone who was coming that way.

One more, a friend of mine who was invited along with her husband–isn’t taking her husband to our wedding but HER BOYFRIEND ON THE SIDE! Fiance is friends with her husband. How inappropriate is that?

Post # 145
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@MrsTrigger: I’m with you on most of yours. What was the problem with this one, though? I think I just need more info. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks!

“Going to wedding shower hosted by the groom’s family.

Post # 146
Member
5538 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@Heatherloveskenny: Wow. Do other people who will be at the wedding know the friend and her husband?? That is pretty awful.

Post # 147
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

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@Gemstone: Yea, I don’t see that as a blunder .lol It’s nice that they like you enough to throw you one. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 148
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Gemstone: Hey!  Well, etiquette says that showers should not be hosted by family members.  When a family member (or the couple themself) hosts a shower and asks for gifts, it gives the impression that the family is trying to campaign for gifts.  This might be a bit old school though because there is a trend toward family members hosting, as I’ve seen it a few times now.  I still think it’s a faux pax though, which is why I specifically told my Maid/Matron of Honor that she should not host my bridal shower, since she is my sister.  My other bridesmaids graciously stepped in.

Post # 149
Member
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@MrsTrigger: I understand! I’ve heard that too, and I agree that the trend is changing. All the showers I’ve ever been to have been hosted by family or a family/friends combo. So you’re right – it’s a case of etiquette vs. how times are changing.

I’ll admit that my Future Mother-In-Law just threw me a lovely shower. In our area, though, I don’t think it made anyone raise an eyebrow. Or at least I hope not. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 150
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The one thing I can remember is FI’s best friend’s wedding in 2009. We went to their wedding in Maryland. Spend 5 days, over $1000.00, brought a gift, and went to their co-ed bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Well Fiance was walking the wedding and one of the brides friends was in love with him and kept staring at him.

One of the bridemaids literally challenged my Fi to a dance off and was basically break dancing and we saw some not so appropriate parts of her body….

The bride had her friends and family at the wedding and her husband had a whoping 2 tables at the wedding of which none of them even talked to anyone else.

FI’s best friend came up to me half drunk telling me that he loved me like a sister and to take care of his friend. Meanwhile he hugged me and the bride kept giving me dirty looks.

And it has been two years and I have yet to receive a thank you.

Post # 151
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@MrsTrigger: hahaha, 50% off rolls! They should have had the party at McDonald’s and limited you to the dollar menu!

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