Biggest Factors in Successful Marriage

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jayquellen :  I saw that thread! I completely agree with you. It was derailed, and I feel bad for the bee who posted. It wasn’t the advice she was seeking, and that thread did seem harsh and condescending.

Tbh, I think a little of my own personal struggle with a family member who insists “age doesn’t matter at all,” rubbed off in my post.

Post # 18
Member
315 posts
Helper bee

– both agree what the meaning of life is (to be happy, to be rich, to be holy, to serve an other, what ever thing you think it is, you agree)

– both have respect for the other in they must both consider they “marry up” like what the other thread on here said. Not marry up like in money but in overall personal characteristic. The other is a “real catch.” 

-both are promise keeping. What ever it is, but including the vows, to marriage forever and in good times and bad times.  To not keep their word is hateful to them. 

Post # 19
Member
260 posts
Helper bee

1. The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
 
“Being mean is the death knell of relationships. Kindness, on the other hand, glues couples together. Research independent from theirs has shown that kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage.”


 
“Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.”

2. Conflict Management Skills

Fighting fair (otherwise you’ll be mean/evil, and kill kindness).

3. Needs vs. Wants (Discern & Respect)

Treating your partner’s needs as wants (diminishing/ignoring them) leads to disaster.

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