(Closed) Biggest regret with your wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
7897 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Here are my major lessons learned from our wedding celebration:

1. Before all the mayhem begins, write a list of things that you want to take with you to the wedding.

2. Don’t get too carried away with buying stuff for the wedding. We bought all these snacks from costco to supplement our catered dinner and apps, and there was SO much leftover that we couldn’t take all of it back with us. 

Post # 3
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee

We had the wedding and reception in my parents’ backyard. Don’t get me wrong, they have a gorgeous garden on a lake. The only regret that I (and my parents had) was that my parents didn’t ask the caters to help with food serving or bartending (they asked if my parents wanted them to stay…they said no not realizing how hard it would actually be.) It was a self serve buffet, which was fine. But it would have gone a little more smoothly if someone else had been there to dish out the food. My poor dad ended up as bartender (my parents love to entertain so it wasn’t a huge deal) but it meant that neither one was available for pictures after the ceremony as they had to go up to the house to start getting everyone drinks (it was a July wedding in SC and it was HOT!) So Darling Husband and I have pictures of everyone else except my parents. (13 years later this still bums me out looking at photos but I can’t do anything about it. My Dad even changed out of his dress shirt and slacks into shorts and a tshirt for the reception. So I couldn’t get a picture then.)

So if you are having a garden wedding at a private residence, PLEASE get the catering company to serve or bartend, if that is something that they offer! Also we didn’t have enough tables set up like we probably should have outside under tents. My parents have a very slopey yard so it was difficult to find places to set up tables so that they didn’t wobble or people wouldn’t be tipping backwards down the hill. (This mental image actually brought on many laughs between my mom and I as we discussed which family member would be the first to tip out of the chair, roll down the hill, and into the lake. Either general clutsiness or just having one too many. I come from a family of English and Scots – both who like to imbibe! LOL) Many people went inside to eat at the dining room table or kitchen table or sitting on the couch in the living room just to get out of the heat. My Mom made the comment later that it might have been just easier to rent a place for the wedding and reception. So didn’t have to worry as much as to what went right or wrong. OH! And make sure that the private residence is not undergoing major renovations before the wedding! My parents decided in March that it was a good idea to open up the living and dining room walls to make the space bigger. (They had been talking about it for a while but decided to put their ideas into action.) Larger windows were put in the front of the living room. Columns replaced the load bearing wall that separated the dining room and living room. Hardwood floors replaced the carpet in both rooms. Renovations were finally completed exactly 2 weeks before our wedding! Talk about stressful on both my parents and my part! Another reason for my Mom realizing that having the wedding offsite was probably a better idea!

Hindsite is 20/20. All in all it was a beautiful ceremony (one of DH’s aunts said that my parents should rent out their yard for small ceremonies, she was so impressed with the plants and flowers that my Mom had.) My Dad told her afterwards with Darling Husband and I in the room that it was the best wedding that he has ever attended and he was not being biased either.

So I have to include a picture of my Mom’s gorgeous garden.

2-Original Dress

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Post # 4
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee

I thought of something else. Give your photographer a list of the pictures that you definitely want them to take during the wedding. We had friends with good cameras do our pictures but in all the excitement afterwards, there were a few people who we forgot to include in our pictures after the ceremony.

Post # 5
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

#1? I always wanted to get married in May, when the lilacs are in bloom. Ended up with the end of December, about 40 degrees and drizzling = no outdoor photos, limited flowers, etc.

Post # 6
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Catal Restaurant

Craigslistgirl is dead on about the first one.  Write a list so you dont forget things.  I was driving to my hair appointment when i realized I had forgotten my foundation at home.  I had to go back to get it and of course I could not find it.  I wasted about 30 mins looking for it and that made me about an hour and a half late to my appointment (yay for traffic!).  My dad ended up having to buy me foundation from the Sephora near my venue.  I also forgot my bouquet at home and did not realize it until I was done getting dressed.  I ended up using the bouquet my florist made for my daughter.  I also couldn’t find the candelabras for my sweetheart table the night before my wedding.  They were in my mom’s garage and I had so much stuff to do that I just couldnt take any longer to look for them.  I found them like 2 weeks after my wedding.

Just make a list and set aside the things you will need for the wedding like a week in advance and keep those things together.  Throughout the week try and check that list to make sure you haven’t forgotten anything you will need.

Post # 7
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

i would have stood my ground when my sister insisted i didn’t have enough decorations. and i would have invited more people — i played it safe but in the end some people who rsvped yes didn’t show up. 

Post # 8
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I should have invited my close family out of state even though my mom said they’d just feel bad ’cause they couldn’t afford to travel.  

Post # 9
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

My biggest regret is how much I stressed during the whole planning process. We had a very small intimate ceremony & reception with close familiy and it was beautiful! A lot of things didn’t go as planned, we invited 20 people and half couldn’t make it due to unforseen circumstances. One was my best friend and I was very bummed but it unavoidable. I was so sad that no one threw me a bridal shower and I didn’t have a bachelorette party but ulltimately none of that matters. With or without those things, i am still married to my best friend and that is what truly matters. 

Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t spend a lot of things that don’t matter (i.e. will be thrown away or you won’t be able to sell) and focus on the things that do matter. 

Post # 10
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Our wedding was beautiful and perfect, and there’s nothing about the day itself that needed changing.

However…

I wish I had spent less money on the wedding. Looking back, eloping or having a lower cost wedding and pocketing the difference would have been nice. A wedding is just a day, and even 2 years later the details fade. I’m sure very few guests remember all the little details I put into the day. I should have done like my cousin and gone to Vegas and had a little reception with 40ish people.

Post # 11
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is, like, the stupidest regret of all the regrets.  My table runners were the wrong shade of purple.  I was livid.  I never saw the color in person – I selected the color “plum” based off the name and the picture on the website, then they arrived ROYAL ASS PURPLE.  I was furious for like 20 minutes the day of but got over it, but felt a twinge of sadness when my pictures came in.

Make sure that you actually view in person anything that needs to be a specific color!  Purples are hard to match (as are greens IMO)

Post # 12
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
208bride:  I think that shade of purple looks gorgeous! It’s even reflecting off the glasses in that picture. 

Post # 13
Member
11481 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I spent 11 months planning every detail of my long-awaited wedding. Except the timeline. I knew that the venue had experts to oversee everything on the day of, so it never even occurred to me to spend any time worrying about this. However, a confluence of all sorts of events, including major traffic on what should have “only” been a 1.5 hour trip from my salon to my venue, resulted in delays that kept us from getting many of our photos prior to the ceremony as planned. There were other issues that affected our timeline as well. The bottom line is that, due to our timeline unraveling, I never had time to interact with or even greet the majority of our guests or to dance anything other than our official dances. There was no time for fun or interaction, just official duties. All we had time for was introductions, our first dance, the toasts, dinner, the dances with our parents, the cake cutting and pictures. Then it was after 11 p.m., and it was over.

I had waited my entire life for that day, and all of our closest family and friends were gathered there together for the only time in history for those few hours at a semi destination location, and I never even had the chance to speak to most of them. I was beyond devastated over this for a very long time.

Post # 14
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
princessandthepear:  It ended up working okay because some of the purple flowers that came in were so bright, but the color of my bridesmaids’ gowns was the purple I was going for:

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