Post # 1
I’m a long time lurker, but now I have an urgentquestion to ask.
My SO (38) and I (29) are marrying on October the 6th. Today his brother told us that he and his wife are expecting their first baby – on September the 19th.
What are we supposed to do now?
What if his SIL is giving birth on our wedding day? Or the day before? I’m so happy for them, but we are think about postponing our wedding because of this.
SIL/BIL’s family is my future husband’s family – that means that our wedding will be the first tie, everyone sees the baby. Will anyone even care about our wedding? What if she gives birth on our date? Neither me nor my then husband are ging to think about our wedding if that’s the case.
We cannot wed earlier, as we won’t find any venues (nor do we want to have a marriage during hot summer). We cannot wed later the year because the preparation for my bar exam starts right after our wedding – after that, there’s the bar exam itself. So we cannot just postpone the wedding for a few days, the only option is to postone it after my exam in 2019.
What would you do?
Post # 2
My goodness, I wouldn’t even think of postponing the wedding. The odds of the baby coming ON your exact wedding date are pretty low. Yes, possible. But pretty low. I had late babies, but a lot of doctors aren’t even comfortable with women going more than a week past their due date.
Sure, people would ooh and aww over a newborn at your wedding; I’ve seen that. I hardly think that is going to take over your whole wedding.
I wouldn’t stress out over this, really.
Post # 3
I very much doubt they will want to bring their baby to your wedding 10 days after birthing it. And being concerned that a new baby will steal your thunder is pretty low. Due dates are due dates, babies come early and late.
Life goes on. Have your wedding as planned. It will still be beautiful no matter what happens with the baby, and it will still be your day.
Post # 4
Sorry if I sound like an idiot – we are the first ones of our friends to get married and noone ever had a baby. So I’m pretty afraid! Thanks for your answer!
Post # 5
People are going to care the same amount about your wedding whether there is a baby or not. Love doesn’t run out, so a baby only creates more love and doesn’t take any from you.
Keep your wedding date and go ahead with your plans.
Post # 6
I would think your SIL will just stay home with the baby while the Brother-In-Law attends the wedding. I know I wouldn’t have brought my newborn to a wedding. Don’t postpone the wedding, it will be fine.
Post # 7
garnobella : We’re not so much concerned about the baby ‘stealing our thunder’ but it’s his brother. What if the baby comes late and his parents and brother can’t (won’t) come to the wedding?
Post # 8
I don’t think you should postpone your wedding for a year on the chance they have their baby close to your date. Yes people will be gushing over a new baby but they’ll all be there for you and your SO, not the baby. This shouldn’t stop you from living your lives. What happens when something else conflicts? Would you keep putting your important events on hold because of it? I wouldn’t worry about this.
Post # 9
I would do nothing. This really isn’t an issue, and it would be madness to postpone your wedding because your SIL is due 2.5 weeks before your wedding. The chances of her giving birth the day of your wedding are slim, and if so, you really think you aren’t going to even “think about your wedding”? It’s very likely they won’t even bring the baby to your wedding if it’s that close since baby won’t have had shots yet and the first weeks are so exhausting. We had a baby several weeks before DH’s cousin’s wedding. I stayed home with baby and he traveled (out of state) to attend solo. Our pediatrician recommended not taking the baby to a big event like a wedding at such a young age. Not a big deal. I think you need to take a deep breath and a step back. It will be okay.
Post # 10
keksgesicht : I echo everyone else, I don’t think this is worth changing your plans over. There’s a huge possibility that his brother and his wife won’t come (I know I wouldn’t go with a newborn for sure!!). But why on earth would his parents not attend? Your wedding is only one day?
You’re making an issue out of nothing hun.
Your wedding is about you and your husband at the end of the day, no matter who is there and what else is going on, that day will be special to you and that’s all that should matter. You will still walk away married.
Post # 11
Oh god no, don’t postpone the wedding. We found out I’m due a couple weeks before DH’s cousin’s wedding (and they’re like brothers, born only a few months’ apart and grew up together). I’m bummed that I’ll have to miss it, but Darling Husband is still going — he’ll fly down the morning of the wedding and fly back home the morning after. I can survive 24 hours without him. The thought of them postponing anything never even crossed our minds.
Also, agree with PPs that I highly doubt they’ll bring the baby. That was also something that never crossed my mind.
Post # 12
keksgesicht : No doctor is going to let a woman go 17 days past her due date so there is no need to worry about the baby being born on your wedding day. It will be at least a week old by then. Your husband’s parents are not going to miss his wedding. Even excited new grandparents can take 12 hours away from the baby to celebrate another child’s happy event. If the brother can’t make it, then you’ll get married without him there and life will go on. Postponing for a year is crazy. What if someone else gets pregnant? Or this same Brother-In-Law, it happens! Your wedding is the biggest event in your life (at the moment) and surely you don’t want them making your wedding about their baby, so please remember to not make their baby about your wedding. There’s enough happy to go around, you can each have your big “thing.”
Post # 13
If you are in the US and she is going to regular OB route there is no way she’s going 17 days overdue. She’ll be induced 1-2 weeks after her due date tops. If she gives birth close to your wedding date she and the baby may still be in the hospital and it’s up to Brother-In-Law if he leaves for a few hours to attend the wedding. If she gives birth around her due date I highly doubt she’s going to want to bring a newborn around a ton of people. If she does decide to show up with the baby, it will pretty much be eating or sleeping at that age.
I can’t imagine why this news would prompt rescheduling your wedding.
Post # 14
I don’t know how long you can go overdue – I know that my mom was three weeks overdue when I was born, but of course that happened almost 30 years ago.
I still don’t know if we want to marry without his brother and SIL – I’m so sad about this. (Of course I am happy for them!) We only marry once and I cannot believe that they won’t be there.
Thank you very very much ladies, nevertheless! I donÄt know anything about babies or pregnancy – let alone giving birth. Thank you!
Post # 15
This is not an issue. If the baby is due on 9/19, no one overseeing your FSIL’s care will allow her to wait three additional weeks before she has the baby. If she’s overdue, they’ll probably induce her after two weeks at the very most.