BIL's Baby is due 10 days before our wedding

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 16
1245 posts
Bumble bee

Why would his parents not come if the brother has a baby? It’s not like the grandparents are with the baby 24/7. they stop by to the hospital for an hour. Sure it is possible that the brother won’t be attending and it is even stronger possibility that the wife won’t be there. But it’s life. getting married is life, having a baby is life. He could just as easily have a stomach flu on the day or another baby next year. I wouldn’t postbone the wedding for this. Quite honesstly, no one cares about your wedding as much as you and no one cares a bout the baby as much as the parents. If the newborn is there some aunt wille be gagaing for 5 minutes max and then get over it.

Post # 17
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

They didn’t plan their baby based on what you might be doing on that date and similarly, you shouldn’t plan your wedding based on what they might be doing. Things are always happening in life and you can’t ever be certain that everyone will be able to attend. Keep your date, wish them the best and don’t borrow reasons to stress.

Post # 18
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Why would his parents not attend? Your Future Sister-In-Law probably won’t, however if it’s a local wedding I would hope your Future Brother-In-Law will make it, at least for the ceremony.

Post # 19
9614 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Sometimes people miss weddings, it’s not a big deal. Life goes on. Definitely do not postpone. Also, the first “tie” ? Will anyone care? You’re getting kind of petty… there’s plenty of joy to go around. People aren’t going to just forget about a wedding of a loved one because a baby was born…

Post # 20
2132 posts
Buzzing bee

keksgesicht :  In that case, yes it would be disappointing if they weren’t there, but you can’t put your plans off for people. What happens if you postpone the wedding and they can’t make that date either? Or someone else important can’t make it? His parents should be there, but maybe he needs to have this discussion with them if he is concerned. It is one day. 

The problem with life is that we can’t predict what’s around the corner. We can only do our best, and know that 99% of the time, things won’t be perfect. But they can be pretty darn close! 

Post # 21
9662 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You’re overthinking this. Have your wedding! 

What if some VIP can’t make your postponed date? You’re gonna reschedule again?

Post # 22
127 posts
Blushing bee

Continue as planned. She may unfortunately miss your wedding which sucks, but is part of life. She is not going to bring a less-than-one-month-old to a wedding. 

And let’s say she had the baby early and she did bring it; yes people will ooh and ahh, but your thunder is not going to be stolen. People came for you.

Post # 23
2021 posts
Buzzing bee

I was at a wedding last year where the maid of honor went into labor during the actual wedding. It all worked out and was still a special day. The parents left the reception early after the baby was born to visit. The wedding didn’t stop for a baby, and you absolutely shouldn’t change your wedding date. If they can make if they will. If they can’t, that’s okay too. 

Post # 24
2621 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

What do you do now?

You have your wedding as planned!!

Post # 25
1267 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

That’s closer to 3 weeks, not 10 days. It’ll be fine. My SIL traveled by plane to my other brother’s wedding with a 3 week old.  Baby didn’t overshadow anything and all went perfectly for both families. 

Post # 26
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

keksgesicht :  i was the first one to marry of my family. And my sister in law couldnt make it as she was pregnant and almost due, but my hubby’s brother was able to fly out and be by his side. But the love was there. 

Post # 27
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

If it’s vital to you that they be there, push the date back.  If you can deal with them possibly missing it, then don’t.  Those are really the only two options here.

Post # 28
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Im quite sure, they won’t attend your wedding, if the baby comes earlier. I have a 2,5 year old toddler, but to tell the truth, I wouldn‘t even have tried to attend any occasions a few days after giving birth, because I was happy, if I was able to have a shower, or just have a walk. 

And if they should come, they can’t stay longer, because the baby needs to be home in the evening! 

Post # 29
108 posts
Blushing bee

My best friend was due a week after my original wedding date. We ended up postponing for other reasons, but now she can be in my wedding. I was so sad when we initially postponed, but now I couldn’t be more happy that she actually gets to be a part of my wedding. It’s actually what convinced me to do agree when my Fiance first started talking about it. 

Post # 30
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

My brother and his partner had a baby on 12-9, we got married on 12-21. They traveled 7 hours to get to our wedding. The baby nursed and slept and pooped and life went on. Everyone was happy to see a tiny baby, including me. Everyone was happy to see us get married. At dinner the baby just hung out in her carrier or in her mom’s arms. No big deal. It is kind of over the top that you are freaking out this bad. 

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