You are wonderful people for being so considerate of others, but remember that you have been an item longer than they have and therefore the likelihood of your getting engaged and married quickly was much higher and probably on everyone’s minds as a big possibility coming up.
You have had a mature approach to date, discussing and loosely planning.
As far as I’m concerned, marrying this year is fair game for you.
If you were marrying within 6 months of their ACTUAL wedding date then, hmm, maybe I would see that as a little competitive. But who EVER heard of someone waiting patiently for over 2 years.
If the bro didn’t have the decency to tell you both himself.. then who’s hurting who here?
Do you think if the shoe were on the other foot he would wait, the same as you’re doing?
Happiness is not something to “postpone”, we only have the Here and Now. Go and build your dreams together.
How could your happiness cloud anyone else’s? All you are achieving is sadness by thinking you must wait in line as if someone is handing out allowed dates and times. Only you control your future, do not hand that power to anybody else.
I suggest you get engaged now and then you can have your wedding way, way before. And to be honest, they might not even last the engagement. And then where will you be? 2 years on and for what? You can’t go on other people’s If’s and but’s. You are a solid couple and you should go for it.
If you are still really worried about what is “Good Form/etiquette”, then do a Poll here on the Bee forum. Something like : Fiance’s bro pipped us to the post and suddenly got engaged, it will be for 2 years. Is there a safe distance to keep from the end of their engagement, to actually MARRY?
1 year? 6 months? 3 months? Whenever we want?”
(notice I didn’t even write “safe distance to get engaged” because you can seriously get engaged whenever you want, that is something private between the 2 of you and not something that needs to be discussed with others over a dinner table, as it’s only actual wedding budgets that need to be dissected and dates that need to be agreed on)
Seriously, in the same way that when one friend has a kid, their friends start having kids too. Do you really think people sit around saying: Oh we can’t have a kid now because my best friend had one and it would steal her thunder?
No way !
And my conclusion for you is: How can you put a timeframe on Love ?????????
It is something that needs to be lived, not shelved.