Post # 1
Anyone else feel like a bipolar bee? When it’s just SO and I, I feel totally engrossed in our love bubble. Then, the holiday get-togethers happen and all of the “when’s the big day?” and “you guys still aren’t engaged?” and “this is so and so and his wife, ‘endofmyrope.” and “you’re already practically married.” starts to tear down my wall of waiting bliss. It’s getting harder and harder to rebound from this. I just wish SO would do it already so we wouldn’t have to go through this anymore. That’s not a good reason to get married, but it does put a bit of a damper on the holidays. It’s like some people can’t fathom that we might actually be happy just the way we are. And it gets exhausting having to come up with quips to silence the peanut gallery. aye aye aye. I feel like all the external pressure is wakening the walls of our love bubble and making me one very confused bipolar bee! I mean, after a while you start to think to yourself, “why hasn’t he done it already?” It’s heavy duty stuff man. I don’t like it. I usually love the holidays….but this is making me dread all the family trials, I mean “holiday gatherings.”
Post # 3
Your future is between you and your SO, that is all you can worry about. Coming from a six year “no engagement in sight” relationship to him finally popping the question I can say with certainty that I didn’t have peace until I stopped worrying about what others said and told them to mind their own business.
Once you take a stand people find it less pleasurable to heckle you about marriage.
Post # 4
@endofmyrope: I can relate. Not so much about the family pressure part because mine don’t get too involved in my affairs, but I do feel bipolar about the proposal because somedays are good waiting days while others are not. I think it is completely normal. I mean, there are not many other really important aspects of life that we have zero control over. It can tend to make you feel helpless at times, I think. That isn’t fun.
Post # 5
Wow, I am really astounded by the audacity of some people. Who makes these types of comments? It’s the same thing for recently married women who are constantly asked when they will start having children when most people have no idea if the couple plans to have children, or adopt, or if they have fertility issues. You just don’t go around making comments and assumptions like that anymore. But obviously, people do all the time. It’s just shameful.
I’m sorry that other people and their lack of tact have caused you so much grief. Just ignore them and plow forward with your life! Things all happen in their own good time. 🙂
Post # 6
I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s really frustrating!
My Story: My brother’s wife (my sister-in-law) has been probably the worst offender for me. Her own 24 year old sister met a guy last spring 11. He proposed to her last thanksgiving (less than 1 year of dating). They got married in May of this year. She was actually already 3 months pregnant for the wedding.
Since all of this happened so quickly, my SIL hasnt stopped talking and boasting about her sister to me and even my mom. She’s kind of “one-upping” me because I’ve been with my SO for 5 years now and nothing has happened.
They constantly refer to my boyfriends parents as “your parents-in-law” which just rubs me the wrong way since we’re not married or engaged. I also just wished that SO would just do it sooner than later. I’m tired of dealing with the peanut gallery and people trying to one up me.
Post # 7
@nycfashionista: Thats really mean of your SIL, but you know her sister has just rushed into marriage and pregnancy in like less than a year, where’s the substance of their relationship. Hard as it is, they may be the first to rush to a divorce too.
So never question your relationships girls, keep faith and it will happen. All these feelings are totally normal 🙂
Post # 8
Haha, yes, waiting does turn us into “bipolar bees” sometimes. From “aw, I’m so happy” to “He’ll never marry me! Waaaa!”.
It sucks how ppl pry about these sorts of things when it’s a touchy subject. Some folks need to start flexing their tact muscles.
Post # 9
definitely with @abirdword here. I have days just like those days too. He’s going to do it!…to He’s never going to do it! Truth is, he will.