Post # 1
My husband has been recently diagnoised with bipolar disorder.
We have had a very very very tough year and are currently living apart but working on our marriage.
After doing a lot of reading on bipolar, from people with bipolar and their partners it is like my life being read back to me.
Does anyone else have anyone close to them who suffer from BD? I would really love some advice on how to cope?
Post # 3
My father is severaly clinically depressed… not bipolar, but it is still/was very difficult growing up with someone in the house who can be very mentally unstable.
The best advice I have it is not succumb to their “moods” or walk on eggshells. It is very easy to adapt to their mood, so that they feel they have someone in their corner and who understands. Be loving , patient , kind… all of the endearing qualities but also let them know that tough love is sometimes the best way to show someone you care.. and that may mean that some days you are going to be happy when they are sad, or at peace when they are angry.
I am sorry you’re going through this… I really hope that you and your husband are able to work things out. Of course counseling could help… has been seeking therapy or any types of drugs to help combat the mood swings?
Post # 4
I have it, it’s tough. I feel for everyone around me. The best thing he can do is get on medication and get a therapist he sees regularly. Not just twice, but regularly forever.
It’s easy for Bridal Party people to become selfish and everything become all about them. Don’t let him do that, put your foot down if he gets out of hand. It’s not just his life, like it’s my family’s life around me and his family’s around him.
Big hugs, you guys can get through this. He just needs to learn his coping mechanisms. It’s not something which has just appeared, it’s been there all along. So it can only get better now it’s diagnosed and being treated 🙂
Post # 5
Yep, definitely tough love as the above poster said. Works on me. I have to be brought to heel every now and then.
Post # 6
It is hard because we are living seperatly so i’m worried about him pulling the plug on our reconciliation.
I feel like a lot of the time other things are more important to him then our relationship- right now its his university assignment. Nothing ‘serious’ can be discussed until after this assignment is done. No talk of christmas (he hasn’t done his christmas shopping yet) and it just makes me feel really unimportant.
One minute he is saying “I love you’, saying he wants me to move back in, talking about our future plans and then next he is acting distant.
I know that this is normal for him. He has always been like this, and when he would withdraw I would go in a tail spin and do everything I could to bring him back around.
It is exhausting and I feel this constant knot in my stomach. I don’t want to tell him this though because i know it will just stress him out and make him depressed and make everything worse.
It’s just like there is never a safe time to talk about my feelings? It really does feel like everything is always about him..
Post # 7
It’s just like there is never a safe time to talk about my feelings? It really does feel like everything is always about him.
That is a tough spot to be in… and I would reconsider getting any further into this relationship because those feelings will just continue to grow, and you’ll become resentful.
Emotionally draining people make it very hard to leave… because you are made to feel like you’ve already invested so much ( which you have)… and it makes it THAT much harder to see clearly.
I am not saying to just “leave”… but think long and hard about if this is what you want for the rest of your lives together.
Post # 8
My brother is bi-polar as well as one of my ex-boyfriends.
Being on the other side of a bi-polar relationship, can be very tough. If the sufferer is treated, sticks to their medicine, and their therapy ritual, their will be limited issues. However, if they go off their meds, the spiral downard is a shock to say the least.
My brother has not been medicated in over 15 years. He is now 36. He chooses to self medicate through alcohol. We actually no longer have a relationship due to the way he has chosen to live his life. I watch him abuse and mistreat my parents, our sister, and his wife. He is currently living on his boat (mind you we live in CT and it’s 20 degrees here currently) for the last 4 months. He has not left the boat and his wife is staying in their home alone. He has also been claiming he is divorcing her for the last 2 years. In the past 10 years he has 5 jobs. None of which has lasted for more than 6 months. His manic behaivor effects everyone around him and he is unable to make the right choices regarding his mental health.
My degrees are in psych, which I also think makes me less sympathetic since I know that he can get help and chooses not to.
Post # 9
I’m bio-polar and have been for about 15 years. I don’t really have the balls to publicly annouce how I have have been dealing with it but if you have any questions feel free to PM me. I will say this though, I am have been able to live a normal life, despite the fact I have bouts of extreme ups and downs. I will also say that this disorder is serverally over diagnosied, My Future Sister-In-Law was declared to be bipolar when infact she was suffering from PSD, I have had heard of other similar cases as well so I would also recommend you get both a second and a third opinion.
Post # 10
My husband is fully functional.
He has a very successful career and is doing a masters which is is doing very well in. He also goes to the gym daily as he wants to compete in bodybuilding.
He is also very proactive in monitoring himself and finding ways to manage his triggers.
I don’t want to leave because when he is “normal” he is great- he is affectionate, kind, giving, supportive and he makes me so so happy. Its just when he is having an episode that I get these feelings. The worst thing I can do when he is having an episode is telling him he is making me feel bad/unloved as it stresses him out and makes him even more depressed.
I don’t want to give up. I commited to him “in sickness and in health” it is just very hard sometimes to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Post # 11
I’m Bipolar…but I’m not really all that bad, at least not anymore. It was actually side effects from being put on Paxil, believe it or not. My friend’s husband is bipolar, and he is a living, breathing nightmare of a human being.
Post # 12
My husband is bipolar. Since I have known him, his disorder has never been a real issue for our relationship because he is on medication that controls it very well. However, before we met, he had a really significant episode that basically destroyed his life for a long time. He went to jail and then to a mental institution for over 2 years. At the institution, he was diagnosed and medicated and gradually recovered to the point at which he is now, fully stable and functional. When we first met, he had only been released from the hospital 4 months prior and he was still a little emotionally shaky. He had awful anxiety which threatened to pull him into a manic episode. We went to the doctor and switched up his meds and we have never had any problems since.
For anyone close to someone with bipolar disorder, I highly recommend doing anything you think possible to encourage that person to seek medication. This disorder cannot be successfully treated without medication. Additionally, as my husband’s wife, I consider it my responsibility to him and to our relationship to help him monitor his moods for any possible relapses. If I were to notice one, I would not hesitate to force him to his psychiatrist or even an inpatient program to receive treatment. It is very, very important that any manic or depressive episodes get nipped in the bud.