- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Okay ladies I need you opinions.
Ever since my fiancée and I were engaged, I have been trying hard to not be a bridezilla. However, my sister and father keep telling me how horrible I am with how I am acting about the wedding. My Fiancee and I are paying for our own wedding and have given our parties a lot of leeway in decision making for their attire.
My sister and I have never been close because we are very different people. Although I know, I can be selfish sometimes and not see others perspectives, my sister defiantly would take gold in being selfish if something does not revolve around her. My original intent was only to ask my best friend as a maid of honor. However, my father felt that I should ask my sister and fiancée sister in law to be part of the party. My sister has a sleeve tattoo on one arm and another large tattoo on the other. While I have nothing against tattoos, we are doing a vintage inspired wedding so I was concerned about my sister covering it up. However, my father told me that he would help support me if it became an issue. So I asked all the girls and letting them know the expectations i.e. simple makeup and hair and covering up any tattoos. Although my Maid/Matron of Honor and soon to be SIL also a bridesmaid have been very supportive (although they have their own opinions on fashion also), my sister has been a royal bridesmaidzilla.
Fast forward to picking out dresses… my sister told me I had horrible taste so I gave her more choices in selecting a dress (all the girls are wearing similar cuts but different colors of blue) to avoid confrontation. I asked all the girls opinion on shoes and got the exact same problems. I have horrible taste. She would not give me an option so I eventually asked her after several weeks of back and forth to either play nice or step down. I was told to shove off. Throughout this, my father was telling me that I was horrible and should just let her wear whatever she wanted. Since she already bought shoes, she should be able to wear the black shoes.
Finally, last week I attempted to give it another try. I sent her an email telling her I sincere wanted her at the wedding and as part of the bridal party. To which she responded in a very mean way that I never sent her the shoes. After attempting to reach her again after several days, she stated she had bought the shoes but was unsure if they were going to arrive in time or be the right size. After bringing up covering the tattoo today, she told me she would not cover that up even though I only requested it for the formal pictures and ceremony.
I am at my wits end. Although I love her, I cannot keep putting myself through this. However, my biggest fear is that my dad will not only side with her again but also not attend my wedding. I know for my own sake I need to tell her and stick to my guns that she can a) either cover it up or b) step down. However, I do not want to cause my parents not to come. I am usually the one who steps aside and acquiesces but I know this is the one time I cannot budge.
Thoughts? Am I being a bridezilla or is my older sister being unreasonable?