- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
My mom and husband will be my birth coaches as I attempt valiantly to do this thing without pain meds.
But my mom and my husband aren’t exactly the most dedicated readers I’ve ever met, and so buying them “The Birth Coach” and saying “here, read this and you’ll be all set” is just going to lead to heartbreak as they both show up knowing nothing and hoping the other has read the book like this is some kind of raggedy-ass book club where you can fake your way through or maybe wait for the movie to come out.
Thus, I have decided to just put together a killer binder of stuff that I need them to know and refer to during the labor and birth. And I’m looking for advice on what should go into it!
I plan on making them EACH a binder/folder, separated by those little divider things, all clearly labeled so they can quickly find what needs to be found at the moment. I know things will be hectic in there so organization will be me friend. The binders will definitely include:
— an introduction where I essentially try to summarize Ina May Gaskin’s whole philosophy on the right attitude to bring into childbirth. So, don’t bring fear and anxiety into the room, and sphincter theory stuff (“birth is like pooping. I poop better when ten thousand people aren’t shouting and shoving their heads up my ass”), etc. I will expect them to read that intro while we sit around waiting for things to really heat up
— copies of my birth plan, with more detailed explanations than the one I’m giving to the nurses. I want the one for the nurses to be short and to-the-point. I want the one for my coaches to really explain WHY I’m specifying the things I’m specifying and why I need them to advocate hard for me if I’m not in a position to advocate for myself (like if I’m getting wheeled off for an emergency C-section or something and all the birth plan says is “husband stays with me”)
— brief descriptions of the phases of labor and how my dear coaches can expect me to act during them, and how they should tailor their behavior based on what I’m likely going through
— all the different recommended positions to take during labor, and when they are most effective. Basically just stealing a few pages directly out of Peggy Simkin’s “Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn” so they can easily refer to this when I’m like “MY FRIGGIN BACK HURTS OUCH” and they can be like “oh! back labor! That means you should try XYZ position”
— Recommendations of things they should say to me when/if I start to lose heart. They know me pretty well, but I know myself even better. So, things like “you’re stronger than this. Buck up, pull it together, don’t quit,” or “Women have been doing this for generations without pain medication and they survived. You can do it too.” And a whole collection of other things like that, so if I start to unravel and they start to unravel they can just refer to the book and try to get things back on track
— Pain management techniques to suggest, also lifted directly from Peggy Simkin, with some of Ina May’s favorite recommendations thrown in as well
— Maybe a guide to the playlists I’m going to make on my iPod, so if I gasp “I want the trance music” my husband knows exactly what to change it to instead of making me try to sausage-finger it myself while I’m just trying to breathe.
That’s all I’ve got so far. Any other ideas for things I might be missing? Also, any winning ideas on what to toss into each of these sections (especially from those who may have done this exact thing already)? I haven’t started making the binders yet so I’m open to any and all suggestions! Haha maybe all we preggos/moms can work together to make the most epic Birth Binder of all time!