(Closed) Birth control methods: I need one that won't affect my sex life

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 16
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

I know this isn’t a popular choice but the withdrawal method has always worked for us, bar one time when we planned our baby. Used that method successfully for 8 years. We had both been STI tested beforehand. I didn’t want hormones messing up my cycle or my sex drive and I’ve heard not so great things about the coil. I’ll never use any type of contraception again bar the one we use now.

Post # 17
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

If it wouldn’t be a complete disaster if you got pregnant, I would just go with condoms. I don’t think there are any birth control methods that affect women’s periods and bodies that don’t carry a risk of affecting your libido.

I can’t use hormone-based pills or IUDs so used the copper type of IUD for a while, and it was horrible – agonising periods lasting for up to 10 days with only a week or two in between each. A year or so ago we decided to just risk it with condoms,  and prepare for the 1/100-odds possibility of unplanned pregnancy. So far so not pregant. 😀

Post # 18
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Until fairly recently, it was NOT recommended that women who had not been pregnant before have IUDs. So, your doctor isn’t wrong, he just has old information. 

I was on Mirena for a year and a half…had ovarian cysts, bloating, no sex drive, the whole 9. If you have a bad reaction to a higher-estrogen pill, you may have similar reactions to a hormonal IUD.

Post # 19
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Have you considered a diaphragm? I use the Caya, which is the modern version and really like it. I can’t take the pill as it makes me CRAZY and when you can’t deal with hormones, there aren’t a whole lot of options for you – just barriers.

Post # 20
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

I’m currently on mirena and have had a decrease in libido and decrease in vaginal lubrication. I haven’t had sex before BC so I can’t comment on that but we use astro glide gel(water based) and sliquid (hybrid) (we alternate). You can try those in the mean times, I can’t comment on other forms of BC.

Post # 21
Member
9580 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

get better lube, to start.  Second, he needs to get out of the mentality that it’s all about him.  Yeah, you didn’t used to need lube.  Now you do.

Bodies change, and how much natural lubrication we produce changes over time too–sometimes because of the pill, sometimes just becuase.  I never needed lube in my teens, but since my early twenties I’ve needed it for the most part (not 100% of the time, but more often than not) and occasionally need to re-apply. Some positions are better than other to keep yourself lubricated.. if I’m on top it’s not much of a problem, but if I’m on my back it can be an issue.  I’m not on the pill at all, so I wouldn’t assume that just changing your birth control will fix this.

If he really takes it personally that you’re not ‘wet enough’ he could always use his mouth a bit longer.  If he makes you finish a couple times first, you’ll probably be good to go…

 

Post # 22
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have the Mirena (IUD) and I LOVE it. I had absolutely 0 sex drive on the pill. Switched the the IUD and it was night and day difference. The only thing I don’t like about my IUD is that it doesn’t help control acne like the pill did so I have more breakouts that last longer and thats my only complaint.

Post # 23
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Why does this have to be your job? 

If birth control makes you dry and uncomfortable he should just wear a condom. 

Post # 24
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

We use the pull out method as well and if done properly it’s very successful. We’ve been doing that for 4 years now. 

I was on BC pills for quite some time and had no issue with it. i went back on it about 5 years ago and no dosage seemed to work for me, I experienced side effects with all that outweighed the benefits. 

My only comment or concern on the IUD is that my friend went just this week to have hers removed (she and her hubby are comtemplating baby #3) and her doctor couldn’t find the strings to remove it. She’s now about to have an ultrasound to try to figure out where it is….scary. Turns out this is not uncommon, could result in surgery, and could tear the uterus making childbearing no longer an option. I don’t want to get flamed for mentioning this, I have no experience on my own but it just doesn’t seem worth the risk to me. 

Post # 25
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

We chart & pull out. We’ve been using the PO Method for about 5+ years (& charting for probably about 2 years) with no pregnancy scares or anything. 

ETA: He always pulls out, despite my fertile window, but we just like to ensure that we’re especially careful around that time!

Post # 26
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Copper iud! It’s the only non hormonal method that is super effective and reliable. No hormones, no hassle, no remembering anything, good for 10 years. I love mine!

Post # 27
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

LadyBlackheart:  Copper IUD! My body can’t tolerate the synthetic hormones in BC either, and I had more issues than I can count. I’ve had the Paragard copper IUD for 2 years now, it’s 100% hormone free, and it’s seriously the best thing ever. Only side effect is heavier and more painful periods, but for me, it’s only the first few days, and I’d take worse periods over the terrible side effects I had from the pill any day. I have never been pregnant by the way. IUDs can be used by anyone. Good luck! 

Post # 28
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I haven’t had any side effects or issues with my Implanon, and I just had it put in again after having it for the 3 recommended years. It was actually recommended by my oncologist after having a “suspicious” cyst removed from one of my ovaries. I have also pretty severy endometriosis, and ever since I had it put in, I’ve had no problems with cysts or the endo. Periods are lighter (when they happen, I didn’t have one for 5 months), and I’ve seen no other issues with it (and I suffer from a small array of things from migraines to depression).

Post # 29
Member
1960 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I got a copper IUD when I was 19, having never been pregnant before. I still have it at age 27 and would HIGHLY reccomend getting one in place of using hormonal birth control.

Post # 30
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I was taking Viorele BC pill and my sex drive completely left lol! I switched to the Mirena IUD last month, and it’s much better now.

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