Post # 32
I also recommend the pill + condoms. Or, the pill + spermicidal films. Of, the pill + a cervical cap/spermicide. As someone who got pregnant taking the pill perfectly, I always use a backup method. I really, really do not recommend Natural Family Planning, as the success rate for preventing pregnancy is far below that of even the pill by itself. I recommend just doubling up on two methods.
Post # 33
@Mrs. Boom: An IUD is usually not a good idea for someone who has NOT had children. The uterus can expell the IUD because it is a foreign object. Also, I understand you two have been together for a long time and you are getting married. That is great. However, you don’t sound entirely sure you NEVER want to have kids. You stated, “what if I change my mind?” What if you do? Where will your marriage be? Say in 10 years you decide you want children or a child, what will happen to your hubby? Life decisions like the desire to have children or not should be pretty much 100% set in stone prior to marriage. Otherwise, you are going to have a lot of heartache later on.
As for the birth control, I have a friend who has taken the same birthcontrol pill for the last 10 years. She has no children. No accidental pregnancies. She is happy with it. If he is that feaful of having children, he needs to have a vasectomy. Simple as that. Also, I really don’t know how you will approach the issue of his pulling out everytime. I don’t know how long you two have been having sex but I imagine it has been for awhile. I would be completely pissed off with Fiance if he pulled out everytime.
Post # 34
@edisonsgirl– Is it really possible to say at 20 that you’ll never want children? I think I have to respectfully disagree that things have to be set in stone prior to marriage. Life is what happens while you’re making plans.
Post # 35
- Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park
I think it would also be wise to start tracking your fertile days. That way, you can either use a condom during those 4-5 days on top of bc or abstain. It’s very VERY rare to get pregnant with the pill off your fertile days. Though you hear loads of stories about accidental pregnancies, from those who have been trying to conceive, it’s pretty dang tough. I think there’s not too much to worry about if you take the right care
Post # 36
Um, yea. I would use two methods and decide those two with the help of your health care provider. If a condom is really that bad for you, I don’t see why you can’t use another barrier method. There are lots options, but like others have posted the only guarentee is abstinence so you have to decide what is a comfortable level of “risk”. Ultimately we all have to accept the consequences of our actions and think about how we would respond.
Post # 37
There are many methods of non-hormonal “Natural” planning. If used correctly, following the STM method with Abstinence during fertile days is scientifically proven to be the most accurate and most effective way of preventing pregnancy. So, your information is wrong. NFP is actually better than any other method, including the pill. All it requires to guarantee 100% effectiveness, is abstinence over about 5-8 days which surrounds your time of ovulation. Sperm can live for up to 5 days, your egg for up to 2. If you don’t have sex, you don’t get baby.
Does it suck to avoid sex for a week? Sure, I’m sure it will (as we’re not married yet, we haven’t had sex yet.) However, There are actually a lot of benefits to periodic abstinence. Studies show, that couples using this method actually have sex more often than those on hormonal methods, that every month there is a “honeymoon” period of time to look forward to, you find ways other than sex to show your love for your spouse, divorce rates are lower, statistically those couples have less debt, and according to studies also show to be happier in their marriages.
I don’t know about you, but 100% effective plus all those other benefits sound good to me. We’ve been charting and following STM for about 5-6 months now. When we get married, we’ll be pro’s at it 😉
You are thinking of the calendar method which is completely bogus. Research need to be done before making false blanket statements like “the success rate for preventing pregnancy is far below that of even the pill by itself.”
Post # 38
I have the Mirena IUD and I love it. I’m 27, never had kids, and have had zero problems. If your gyno won’t let you do an IUD because of your age, go to Planned Parenthood. They’ll do it, no questions asked. I do know someone who got pregnant with an IUD, but the chances of that are less than 1 in 1000 which are the same as after sterilization. (For the record, she had the IUD removed and is 5 months pregnant now.) I like Mirena because it gives a low does of hormones directly to your uterus and as a result, I rarely get my period anymore. Bonus! I plan on having kids eventually but I know a ton of women in the same position as me. At least 10 of my college girlfriends are in the same place I am. We’re in committed relationships but not ready for kids so we use an IUD. After listening to my sister complain about her period yesterday, I couldn’t be happier with my little IUD.
Post # 39
Thank you for that info! You put it in a very clear, concise, yet thoughtful manner and I just wanted to jump in and say you have influenced my decision not to go back on birth control.
I also wanted to throw this out there:
Pulling out IS more effective than most people think because there is no sperm in “pre-cum” unless the man has not urinated since his last ejaculation.
IMO, pulling out + using condoms during your 5 – 8 days of potential fertility would be enough protection. That’s what I plan on doing.
Post # 40
Well, I feel completely informed now because of this post. After meeting with my doctor I decided not to go with the iud and just stay on my birth control. She told me that my Fiance should not have to pull out unless I forget to take my birth control or am on an anti-biotic. She said those are the only reasons why people get pregnant on birth control. However, I am going to look into a type of spermicide before we try this method just in case and I am going to find out when I am more fertile so we can be extra careful on those days. Thanks for all the advice. 🙂
Post # 41
The mirena is amazing. I got it inserted a couple of months ago and I feel much better than I ever did on any hormonal birth control. It is birth control for 5 years. after that you can have it taken out and get pregnant, or get another one to cover you for 5 more years. It hurts SOOOOOO freaking much to get in. But it’s worth it..
on top of that. NO PERIODS
Post # 42
I would have to agree that abstinence is your best bet. At 20, you very well may want to change your mind in fact, I think its highly possible. My 25 year old girlfriend was completely insistent on not having children, then after she was married (and on the pill) she got pregnant. It was then, she decided she wanted to have her baby, not because she didnt want to have an abortion but because she had changed her mind. She unfortunately lost her child due to miscarriage, but she has changed her mind from absolutely not wanting to children, to planning a family.
Post # 43
Hey, I don’t think you need a permanent solution yet. You admit yourself that it’s a non-zero possibility that you’d change your mind. Also, it sounds like you have talked to your fiance about that possibility.
I’d suggest you look into the Nuvaring. It’s very low dose, and highly effective. It could be the right choice for you, ask your gyno about it. I call 99.9% effectiveness good enough. Nothing is 100%. Nothing other than absitence. I repeat: Nothing.
Post # 44
Your statement about an IUD being a bad choice for someone who has not had children is thankfully untrue. The reason it can sometimes be difficult to place the IUD is because the cervix hasn’t been dilated before, so it’s just hard to get the IUD into the uterus. However, the cervix can be dilated slightly to put the IUD in. IUDs for women without children are now common practice.
The other thing I’d like to state here is that it is unnecessary and no more effective to “double up” on your birth control (for example, a copper IUD and hormonal birth control). If you still want to use a condom, that is of course useful, but generally unnecessary if you take your BC regularly. If you want a non-IUD form of birth control that might be easier for you, you could consider the patch or Nuva-Ring. They only require you to do something once/week rather than once/day and the timing is much less critical than it is with oral contraceptives.
Post # 45
Just to throw in my two cents.. you are an adult and know what you want, but please think twice before doing anything so permanent as getting your tubes tied or having him get a vasectomy. You have so much time ahead of you and you never know if you and/or your future Mr. will change your minds.
As for the BC pills.. that 1-2% chance of getting pregnant mostly comes from improper use (forgetting to take a pill, taking at the wrong time, etc). I think your best bet would be an IUD, a lot of my friends are big proponents of them. Best of luck!
Post # 46
that you too for the info on NFP! I’m off birth control becuase it made me nutty and I’d been on it for 10 years!!! We’re using condoms. But we had a condom slip off last week and we both nearly had an anxiety attack.
If I knew when I was fertile we could abstain during that time. Do you use condoms all the time or only during fertile time?