(Closed) Birth control struggles?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
127 posts
Blushing bee

A few months ago I got the copper IUD. It does NOT have any hormones. Copper is toxic to semen so any semen will instantly die going into your vagina. It lasts 10-12 years. Really the only accidental pregnancies that result from it are because they were inserted wrong in the first place. There are things to consider with this though. For about the first six months up to a year, your period will only get worse, not better. It will eventually go back to normal though. Also, it’s a large cost to get it done. However, since it lasts such a long time, it saves you thousands in the end. Extremely rare though it does happen, the IUD may puncture your uterus. So far for me, it has worked really well. I already had severe periods so that has been rough but nothing I can’t handle with some medication. Other than that I’ve had zero problems with it and the doctor said I don’t need it replaced until 2026 (!!!). Also, when/if you do decide to have children, you just go back to the doctor and they easily take it out. You can start to TTC the very same night.

Post # 3
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you don’t want to get pregnant for 5-10 years, an IUD could be appropriate. I like http://bedsider.org/ for a comprehensive overview of the different birth control options. 

Post # 5
227 posts
Helper bee

I have the hormonal IUD – the Mirena. It has the lowest dose of hormones among all the hormonal forms of birth control – but also has stopped my period for the most part. 

I was concerned about side effects, and I have had none that I’ve noticed. And I was REALLY looking for any changes to my body and mood that could have been caused by the IUD, but haven’t discovered any so far. So it might be something worth looking into for you. 

I personally chose the Mirena over the copper IUD because of the probability that it would stop my period. BUT – every time I DO get my period (which is about every 6 months now), I do have PMS still. My PMS is not any better than it was before, so that’s something you may want to consider as well. 

Overall, I would recommend the Mirena to anyone up to the task of getting it inserted, which is a whole other story (basically, it hurt like a bitch).

go to another doctor and discuss some more options!

Post # 6
178 posts
Blushing bee

I wonder if maybe it was the estrogen that made you feel worse, even if it was a low dose? Definitely check with your doctor, and use the links other commenters provided as a starting point, but two good estrogen-free options are the Depo shot and Implanon/Nexplanon. They both use progestin.

I’ve used and loved both. Implanon is great because it lasts 3 years- you insert it once at the office and forget it until your time is up! 

Post # 7
127 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, shadowedpixie, that’s something I forgot to put in there. Getting it inserted is fairly quick but – I’m going to be totally honest, not trying to scare – it was one of the most painful things I’ve had done to me. I’ll note though that the doctor said I had a “difficult cervix” but still. Something to think about. Do tons of your own reseach about it before coming to decision on anything.

Post # 9
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


Any hormonal birth control can make you sick and cause weight gain. 

Every woman’s body reacts differently.

I found Depo very effective when I was taking it, but it also made me combative and caused weight gain. 

I had better luck with the pill. Tri Cyclen also kept my face clearer.

IUD was not an option for me due to my sensitivity to infections and vaginismus. 



Post # 10
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

There’s also the mini-pill.  No estrogen compounds.

Post # 11
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have Nexplanon which is the hormonal implant that goes in your arm.  So far, it’s been awesome.  My skin is clearer and my “periods” consist of spotting for about two days every couple of weeks.  The insertion didn’t hurt because they completely numbed my upper arm.  

Everybody reacts different to hormones.  I have PMDD.  My primary issue was SEVERE mood swings for two weeks prior to my period so I was put on sarafem which was eventually switched out for generic prozac since it was cheaper (and is, in fact, the same medicine).  I’m a lot better person for it.  

Post # 12
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

Find a new doctor and sit down and have a conversation with them about your concerns. A good doctor will listen, ask lots of questions and then prescribe the proper pill for you based on what you tell them about your period, its frequency, etc. If you remember to take it, the pill is great. A lot of my friends just set an alarm on their phone and take it at the same time daily. I am not a fan of IUD’s and would not recommend one since my family doctor is 100% against them and I trust him. I also wouldn’t recommend Depo since it screws with you and your cycle for quite some time. If this is your first time going on a contraceptive, start simple and try the pill. 

It may take some time to find the right pill for you, so don’t get discouraged. It took me three tries before I landed on a good pill! Good luck OP!

Post # 13
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Quetzalcoatlus:  First off, if your doctor was making fun of you for being a virgin and seemed that clueless…I’d find another doctor. 

I was on Depo from age 16-21 because I had horrible periods. I had no complaints about it, but my doctors took me off it because you shouldn’t be on it that long.  They started me out on the pill and I tried different kinds, but every one of them made me moody and nauseous and I couldn’t deal with it.  I don’t like the idea of an IUD because I’m terrified it’ll become lodged in there or something and cause fertility problems, and an implant was not something I was interested in either. 

I met Darling Husband when I was 21, and after all this trial and error with the pills, we decided to just use condoms to prevent pregnancy. A condom can be just as effective as birth control if you guys are careful.  In 7 years, we never had a pregnancy scare.  Now, we are TTC. 

Post # 14
216 posts
Helper bee

Everyone reacts differently, so you may need to try different Pill options (if you don’t want to go down the IUD avenue).  There are many options out there.

The bottom line is – you really need to find yourself another doctor. No doctor should make fun of you whatever the situation (and he had no reason to in this respect) or be dismissive when you went back to him for advice. A good doctor will be able to walk you through your different options and, in looking at how you reacted to the first set of contraception, give you informed medical advice.


Post # 15
1497 posts
Bumble bee

I’m guessing you don’t want to use condoms? The kind we use, feels no different to me than without one. 

But I agree with PP. Find another doctor. 

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