Birth Control vs. Tubal Ligation

posted 7 months ago in No Kids
Post # 2
Member
2579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

tomandrachael :  I’m so sorry but your GYN is completely wrong. She should have done a tubal 6 years ago when you asked the first time. A friend of mine got hers done electively at 25 years old but it took 5 GYN before she found someone willing to do it “when you may still want to change your mind”. It’s been 8+ years and she is very happy she made that decision. 

Keep searching for a new GYN and have your say for your body. 

Post # 4
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I can’t help you with experience but that Gyn sounds awful! How dare she decide what’s good for you? I heard similar story’s before. I can’t fathom that a doctor thinks he’s so important that he has the audacity to tell you about your life priorities. I believe that the second argument is just for arguments sake  yes it is more invasive than a vasectomy but a man they don’t ask twice. My husband was in for another reason (got kicked in the balls during sports) and they had to do something and asked him while on the table if he wanted a vasectomy while they are at it. He was so shocked that he said no. Such a huge decision in a whim of a second was too much for him. After, he said, he wished they had given him like 10 min to think about it, he would have said yes. It was like “would you like some ketchup with those fries?” kinda offer. And women? They make this huge deal out of it  as if it was the only reason of our existence is to spawn youngens. Like we are not able to make such a life altering decision because we were only born to breed. Makes me very angry. And it’s not like you are 21 anymore. You know yourself by now and a doctor should respect this. They will give you a new face as long as you pay for it but just dare to have your tubes cut! That’s a decision a woman can’t possibly make. She must be wrong!

Me personally, I love my pill for so many reasons that I have it shipped from Europe. Sooner or later my husband will get snipped but we are not in a hurry because I won’t  get off the pill in any case. I don’t want my period every month and the pms that come with it and my pill also helps with my skin (37 years old and the skin of a teenager – the good and the bad that comes with it)

i hope somebody here can help you out with some experience. 

Post # 5
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

I agree with the PP, it’s time for a new gyno. I’m not child-free but am early thirties and have requested to have my tubes pulled. My doctor has no issues with referring me to a gyno to get that done and if one told me no, it’s on to the next one. Some of the new research is suggesting pulling them versus tying them as they’re finding that ovarian cancer might start in the tubes – so that’s also something to think about. 

Post # 7
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

tomandrachael :  Maybe you should take some time after you get the Mirena out to use condoms and get used to what your life is like off hormones. And then you won’t have that concern about what periods might be like for you, and you’ll have a better idea of whether Mirena, a tubal litigation, or maybe Paragard is right for you. A bonus of Paragard would be that it lasts for up to 12 years, so it could essentially be your last action for preventing pregnancy.

Either way, find a new gyno. I’m also curious what your husband’s reasons are for not getting a vasectomy? Perhaps I’m just lucky, but my husband agreed a long time ago that he’d get one in our mid thirties. I’d like to hear your husband’s perspective. Unless it has something to do with masculinity, in which case I don’t. Haha

Post # 8
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee

I’m also curious about why your husband won’t get a vasectomy, it’s such a minor procedure compared to female sterilisation and carries much lower risks. 

Post # 10
Member
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m 35 with 2 kids and I asked my doctor to get my tubes tied and she gave me the third degree too. I think they have to really as unlike a vasectomy it’s not reversable.

 

ive been off hormonal bc for years (while having my kids) and I know I don’t want to be on it again and I’m 100% sure I’m done having kids so it made sense to do it. My husband isn’t keen on a vasectomy either and really it’s me who doesn’t want to get pregnant again. tomandrachael :  

Post # 11
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee

Personally, if it was me I would push the vasectomy. It’s an extremely minor and often reversible procedure performed under local anaesthetic, where as tube ligation is performed under general anaesthetic and carries risks such as organ damage, bleeding and ectopic pregnancy. If you’ve always been responsible for birth control all the more reason for him to step up! 

I’ve had gynae procedures for endometriosis which are performed in a similar way (laparoscopically) under general anaesthetic and the recovery isn’t quick, I was still aching and in pain weeks later, my stitches got infected and I still have scars now years later. I just personally wouldn’t put myself through that again if the other option was a minor procedure under local with next to no risks, I agree his reasons are flimsy, so I would push harder for him to have it instead. 

Post # 12
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

I would definitely get a new gynecologist. But, your husband needs to clarify his reasons. You’ve made a decision as a couple to be child free. Up until now, you’re the only one who’s carried the burden of ensuring that decision is a reality. A vasectomy is a minor surgery, tubal litigation isn’t. When we decided we were done having kids, I told my husband if he wanted a permanent solution, he was getting a vasectomy. Is he 100% committed to being child-free? When my husband had his vasectomy, the doctor questioned hm very seriously about whether he was done having kids. He was asked to consider whether he would want more kids if we got divorced or he was widowed. Men have to consider their looooong fertiliy window. I know for lots of men that’s knocking around in their subconscious. Or there’s a weird psychological component about shooting blanks and what that means for their masculinity.

Post # 13
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow!!!! I would have got a new gyno the moment she refused to tie your tubes for you the first time! How DARE she make that call for you?

I wanted it done at 28 or so, my gyno had no issues doing so….but she also said “hey, you have an copper IUD, it’s been working for years, already in there, not bothering you…. so why take it out to do this?”

I thought it was a fair enough point so just kept it in till it “expired”. When it was time for a new one a few years ago, I opted to just do it again vs. the surgery for the ease/cost. It’ll last me till I’m too old to have kids.

I had a different gyno for my last IUD, and shes too never once tried to talk me out of it or give me the 3rd degree. 

Post # 14
Member
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

While I definitely agree you need a new OB/GYN you cannot force your husband to get a vasectomy if he doesn’t want to.  

Post # 15
Member
9445 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

At 42 personally I’d just stick it out with the IUD. I’ve known a few women (online) that ended up with tubal ligation syndrome and all kinds of weird shit after having a tubal. I’m sure it’s rare but it doesn’t really seem worth it for a few years at most.

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