Post # 1
My birthday has come and gone. Father-In-Law made a joking comment when he visited (a few weeks after) that DH didn’t tell him when my birthday was so that was why my card was late. I also overheard Father-In-Law asking DH when my birthday was (again this was after my birthday but before my visit).
And now with DH’s birthday coming up in a few weeks, it made me wonder if I should call my dad and say “Hey, DH’s birthday is XYZ, you might want to give him a call.” I honestly can’t remember if they’ve done anything in the past; I know my grandmother does.
Out of general curiosity, where do you feel the responsibility lies?
Post # 3
I would say something in passing, like “I’m still waiting for Fiance to tell me what he wants to do for his birthday this year…” and let them ask based on that.
Post # 4
We’re not married yet but we’ve been together for 5 1/2 years. My FIL’s know when my bday is and my parents know when FI’s is. We don’t need to remind them, they’ve known for years. But I guess if they didn’t know when your birthday was (which I find a little odd but I guess every family dynamic is different) then I would remind them about the upcoming birthday.
ETA: Going back and re-reading my comment, I realize that it was kind of douchy. I’m sorry, I’m having the day from hell.
Post # 5
If they aren’t sure when your husbands birthday is, I might mention it. They just might not be aware.
I was kind of grumpy on my birthday this year…my Father-In-Law didn’t wish me a happy birthday at all, and I got a text message from my Mother-In-Law at like 9pm. They aren’t really card people, but still. I was kind of annoyed. My husband and I make the effort to go visit both Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law on their birthday and to take them out to dinner. I couldn’t even get a “Happy Birthday”. I don’t really know whose job it is to know…but I would help your parents out if maybe they aren’t for sure.
Post # 6
@CaitMarae- We’ve been together a similar amount of time and this is the first year him and his wife has acknowledged it, which is fine. I don’t need them telling me Happy Birthday to make it a happy one; I’m sure it’ll be on the calendar from now on though. Plus him and DH’s relationship is weird and they’ve only started getting closer in the last year. But on the other hand, I’m lucky if I get a phone call on my own birthday from my family. And I haven’t received a card in years. My dad knows the date but he calls and then thinks he called on the wrong date…when you work 20 hour days, I guess the days roll together.
Post # 7
We’ve been together almost five years so I’m not sure but I think we mentioned it to our parents. We were in our last half of senior year in high school when we started dating so I guess our parents noticed us going over to the other’s house on our birthdays that year. After that, I think they usually remembered when one of us discussed what we were getting the other for our birthday. I don’t think my Future Father-In-Law knows my birthday because my Future Mother-In-Law signs his name to a card but she remembers now and my mom remembers my FI’s birthday but my dad doesn’t. But to answer the original question, I think we brought it up to our parents.
Post # 8
My mom always wants to send DH a present, so I always remind her. She’d think it rude of herself if she didn’t send a card and a small gift. But if she didn’t initiate it, I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell her it was DH’s birthday. It’d probably come up in conversation though, cuz i’d probably mention what I bought him.
Post # 9
Haha, I accidently clicked the wrong line. I clicked ” In Laws should to find themselves” but I meant the first, that the spouse should say something.
Its hard to remeber birthdays, and if anything, your spouse should be the one mentioning your birthday to his/ her parents.
Post # 10
I would mention it to my parents. Maybe mention what happened with your in-laws. They probably have more then a few birthdays to keep track of.
Post # 11
I think it depends on the family. Both my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law get excited about birthdays. The in-laws always get me a cake and I get presents & cards from everyone. And my mom buys really nice birthday gifts for my fiance.
But not everyone is like that. I’d say that it would be appropriate for you to remind your parents about the birthday. Or like a PP said, mention something like “Did I tell you I’m getting DH an ipad for his birthday?!” Just don’t expect your DH to remind his family of your birthday! I’m not even married yet and I already organize all the cards & gifts for my fiance’s family at Christmas and birthdays. *sigh* I’m slowly becoming my mother.
Post # 12
Wow! I am surprised at the results, not in a bad way, but when my Father-In-Law made the comment, I thought “It’s been 5 years, why didn’t you ask me myself during all this time?”
I wondered how weird it would be if I told my dad but as I was reading responses, I remembered that my dad did/does call to tell me it’s step mothers birthday. “You really should call her.” “I have it marked on the calendar, thanks.” So since he is okay doing it to me, he should be okay with me doing it to him.