(Closed) Birthday and the IL’s

posted 10 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: Where does the responsibility fall?

    On the spouse telling the IL's

    On the IL's to find out themselves

    Other- please explain

  • Post # 3
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would say something in passing, like “I’m still waiting for Fiance to tell me what he wants to do for his birthday this year…” and let them ask based on that. 

    Post # 4
    10283 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We’re not married yet but we’ve been together for 5 1/2 years. My FIL’s know when my bday is and my parents know when FI’s is. We don’t need to remind them, they’ve known for years. But I guess if they didn’t know when your birthday was (which I find a little odd but I guess every family dynamic is different) then I would remind them about the upcoming birthday.

    ETA: Going back and re-reading my comment, I realize that it was kind of douchy. I’m sorry, I’m having the day from hell.

    Post # 5
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If they aren’t sure when your husbands birthday is, I might mention it.  They just might not be aware. 

    I was kind of grumpy on my birthday this year…my Father-In-Law didn’t wish me a happy birthday at all, and I got a text message from my Mother-In-Law at like 9pm.  They aren’t really card people, but still.  I was kind of annoyed.  My husband and I make the effort to go visit both Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law on their birthday and to take them out to dinner.  I couldn’t even get a “Happy Birthday”.  I don’t really know whose job it is to know…but I would help your parents out if maybe they aren’t for sure.

    Post # 7
    3670 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    We’ve been together almost five years so I’m not sure but I think we mentioned it to our parents.  We were in our last half of senior year in high school when we started dating so I guess our parents noticed us going over to the other’s house on our birthdays that year.  After that, I think they usually remembered when one of us discussed what we were getting the other for our birthday.  I don’t think my Future Father-In-Law knows my birthday because my Future Mother-In-Law signs his name to a card but she remembers now and my mom remembers my FI’s birthday but my dad doesn’t.  But to answer the original question, I think we brought it up to our parents.  

    Post # 8
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My mom always wants to send DH a present, so I always remind her. She’d think it rude of herself if she didn’t send a card and a small gift. But if she didn’t initiate it, I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell her it was DH’s birthday. It’d probably come up in conversation though, cuz i’d probably mention what I bought him.

    Post # 9
    5279 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Haha, I accidently clicked the wrong line. I clicked ” In Laws should to find themselves” but I meant the first, that the spouse should say something.

    Its hard to remeber birthdays, and if anything, your spouse should be the one mentioning your birthday to his/ her parents.

    Post # 10
    6014 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I would mention it to my parents.  Maybe mention what happened with your in-laws.  They probably have more then a few birthdays to keep track of.

    Post # 11
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think it depends on the family. Both my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law get excited about birthdays. The in-laws always get me a cake and I get presents & cards from everyone. And my mom buys really nice birthday gifts for my fiance.

    But not everyone is like that. I’d say that it would be appropriate for you to remind your parents about the birthday. Or like a PP said, mention something like “Did I tell you I’m getting DH an ipad for his birthday?!” Just don’t expect your DH to remind his family of your birthday! I’m not even married yet and I already organize all the cards & gifts for my fiance’s family at Christmas and birthdays. *sigh* I’m slowly becoming my mother.

    The topic ‘Birthday and the IL’s’ is closed to new replies.

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