- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
Hi bees, once again I’m turning to you for help!
Tomorrow is my 26th birthday, and for some unholy reason, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry all day long today… It’s like extreme sudden onset depression or something, I’m calling it the birthday blues. I know some people get sad or upset around their birthdays, but I’m not usually one of these people. I LOVE celebrating my birthday, I always have. I’ve always spent it surrounded by friends, having dinner and when I partied hard, we would party hard!
But I don’t party hard any more. Which for all sane reasons is a good thing. But I think some part of me will always miss that. And everything that went along with it, the massive parties, loud music, and lots of people having a great time together, and on your birthday, feeling like the center of it all. I had a great weekend with my fiance, he took me to see one of my favorite bands ever on Friday, and Sat his step mom included me in his dad’s birthday party (his dad’s b day was sat) and we all had a great time. Yesterday though, I invited some friends over for the afternoon to have some drinks and food. Well, alot of people already had plans and couldn’t come. I invited alot of people I haven’t seen in a while, and all of them who said they would come, didn’t. 2 of them texted to apologize that they forgot. And 4 sets of my friends/ SO’s showed up. Which was very nice, we had a nice time. But most of them only stayed for an hr or 2 because they had other family things to do (understandable)…. I dunno, I just felt so sorry for myself.
I think I’m having a quarter life crisis. My job is boring and unchallenging, but it’s has perks, like GREAT benefits, and my dog comes to work with me, and I see my family everyday. But part of me is screaming to be fufilled by the time I spend at work, and I think I want to go back to school.
I’m planning my wedding thats in 7 1/2 months, and I’m SO HAPPY about that, my sister is getting married in 2 months, and shes pregnant, making me an auntie… I have so many reasons that my life is great and I should be thankful. … Why is it that I’m feeling so down? Has this happend to any of you before? Please tell me this is just a horrible phase. I feel fat and sorry for my self, which makes me not like myself even more right now! 🙁 I think I need some crying time again…