Post # 1
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee
How do you celebrate birthdays after marriage? Do you have one party with both sides? My birthday is coming up and the plan is to have my parents, DH’s parents, and our siblings over for food, drinks and cake.
Problem is I don’t want a party. DH is excited to host and I don’t want to take that away from him though. On the other hand, he believes birthdays are a time to be selfish. I would be happy to see my family on my birthday for a casual dinner, then maybe go to dinner with his parents on another day. I don’t want to get the families together because then I feel like it’s a party. Especially with the siblings. I dont’ want to invite his siblings over and have them feel obligated to bring a gift.
I don’t know if I should just suck it up though and then next year do something more low key.
Post # 2
Member
6111 posts
Bee Keeper
Hmm, I’m not sure how I’d celebrate birthdays if I lived near my family. I have not lived near anyone I was related to in 20 years now. So it’s usually just me and my H on our birthdays. We go to dinner or one makes dinner for the other.
If I happened to be home during my birthday (like I timed my flight for it), there are no parties. I just go to dinner with whichever immeiate family member is nearby.
Post # 3
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
We live 1,200 miles from our parents. Our birthdays are only just us.
Post # 4
Member
8027 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’ve never understood why adults have birthday parites unless it was like a big milestone year.
Post # 5
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
I don’t know. I don’t really know anyone out of college who actually celebrates their birthday anymore. Sure, maybe dinner/drinks out but nothing super out of the ordinary, and certainly no parties. If you don’t want a party, tell him that and stand up for yourself.
Post # 6
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
We spend our birthdays with each other. I couldn’t tell you the last time when I was single that I had a family bday celebration. One year as an adult I went on a trip with my mom, but usually I do my own thing.
For this year I would go along with your husband. Its really sweet he sees your bday and maybe even his own as an opportunity for both families to get together. Let him know that your next bday you want to do something different.
Post # 7
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
My DH and I usually do something just the two of us… but if I and to chose I would maybe go out to dinner with him and MY parents. I don’t think I would inlude his side. But then I am not super close to my In-Laws.
Post # 8
Member
9575 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
We have the same birthday, though hes 2 years older. But same day. So we do something double decadent and awesome, 2 love birds one stone, in out done. This year were having a casual bbq type get together because its his big 3-0.
Post # 9
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
MrsCallalily: I don’t think it needs to be any different after marriage. Certainly not. I’d go with what YOU want to do as long as it doesn’t cause any real harm. (Like, you can’t commit a murder just because it’s you birthday. But you can have supper with your own family.)
Post # 10
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
Fizzy8: I’m glad you clarified that she shouldn’t commit murder on her birthday.
Post # 11
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
Okay, I guess I’m the oddball here because I LOVE birthdays! I have a themed birthday for myself each year and invite all my friends and family in the area. I’m a big kid. And I never understood adults who didn’t like to celebrate their birthdays…It’s special IMO. 🙂
But I’m also in the boat of where it’s your birthday so you should be able to choose what you want to do. Let your husband know your wishes.
Post # 13
Member
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
MrsCallalily: DH has a big family and we usually always end up together. whether its a birthday or not. so its super common for us to have a “party” on our birthdays. the whole family. …..i guess for his birthday. mine falls on a day where pretty much everyone is out of town. we usually go to our fav expensive place to eat. i think you should do what ever you want