(Closed) Birthday Party at my Reception?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@FrazzledInNY:  Yeah.  Don’t do it.  I’d absolutely put my foot down and make it clear.  

Post # 4
Member
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Short answer: Don’t buy the stuff.

Long answer: Say no every single time she insists. Repeat that this is your wedding, your one day. If this woman wants to do something for her birthday, she can do it before or after your wedding or they can choose not to attend. Don’t back down. 

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

um no, just no. you don’t even know the chick! it’s an adult’s bday pretty sure she can deal with it if there’s no bday cake. 

Post # 6
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@FrazzledInNY:  Absolutely not.  She’s far enough removed from you that if her birthday was such a big deal she could decline to attend.  I might consider this for a child or an immediate family member celebrating a milestone birthday (ex. my Grandma turned 75 a couple days before my wedding.  If it had been the SAME day, I might have considered something like this, but as it stands we had her own party the weekend prior), but for some “random”… NOPE.

ETA: If i was this lady, I would be MORTIFIED if someone I barely knew called that much attention to my birthday at her wedding.

Post # 7
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@FrazzledInNY:  that’s ridiculous that someone would even think of that. I’m pretty sure the birthday chick herself would find the whole situation embarrassing. I would feel like a complete asshole if someone broke out a bday cake for me at someone else’s wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did this at our wedding and in addition celebrated my dad and stepmom’s 25th wedding anniversary–we actually had four cakes (wedding cake, groom’s cake, birthday cake and anniversary cake).

The weekend of our wedding was their 25th anniversary, my daughter’s 24th bday, a good friend’s 45th, and my stepmom’s 50th birthday so we celebrated all of them. To me, it made our wedding even more celebratory and happy to include them in our day.  We did our cake (our band played “Pour Some Sugar on Me”) then they brought out the other 2 cakes.  Our wedding band sang happy birthday when they brought the cake out, and then after the anniversary cake went into their wedding song.  It was a sweet, priceless moment to see my dad and stepmom so happy.

I don’t feel at all that it took away from our day to share the spotlight a little but if you guys are dead set against it (which I DON’T blame you at all–they aren’t a close family member or friend like in our case–I mean it was my parents, my daughter and a good friend) then I would just be up front and tell them that you are trying to keep the focus on your day to keep it simple.  Maybe you could arrange to have a little cupcake and candle brought out to her and the DJ to do a quick acknowledgement, if she throws a fit over it?  It’s YOUR day–don’t let them pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do!

Post # 9
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

H3ll no! If it was a very close relative (e.g. your mother or grandmother) then a quick happy birthday would be appropriate. But the +1 of a less close guest? No.

I never understand why adults can’t cope with celebrating their birthday on another day.

Post # 10
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mstellah:  I’m pretty sure my family didn’t feel like assholes at my wedding by the way.

Post # 11
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Um. What? Really?

Post # 12
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think everyone is in agreement, except for the woman above me…who included festivities for immediate family.

 

As someone else mentioned…I would NOT be okay if someone wheeled out a birthday cake for me at someone else’s party.  

Post # 13
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@SapphireSun:  I completely agree!! 

 

Im sorry your mother has gone temporarily insane 🙂 

Post # 14
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@JaneyDcat:  I was just explaining what we did at our wedding, but I am in total agreement with OP if they don’t want to do that, like I said mine was for immediate family members and one very close friend.  I would never tell OP they are in the wrong, it’s is their wedding, their day to do as they see fit.

Post # 15
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sehrler:  well, no crap – I was speaking to the OP’s situation not yours. Obviously your scenario involving your immediate family/close family friend was COMPLETELY different. I would  celebrate a brother/mother/father’s bday during our wedding (or vice versa) happily.

 

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