Birthday Party Dilemma

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think an activity you both enjoy together would be perfect. My fiancé turns 30 soon as well so I’m taking him away for a ski weekend!

Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Honestly I’d just cook him something he likes but doesn’t get often (my husband usually gets homemade cheesecake). Buy a gift he wants, maybe take a walk together somewhere if the weather is nice. Just hang out. Snack, movies he likes, sex. Some people don’t care all that much about birthdays, even ‘milestone’ ones, and he sounds like one of those people. As another one of those people, please just respect that and don’t blow up the entire day with activities because it’s what you’d want if it was your day. 

ETA: read in a kind voice, I’m not trying to be snarky!

Post # 4
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Have you asked him what he’d like to do?

Post # 5
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

So question, since he expressed not wanting a party and concerts are out are you certain he wants any type of celebration? I ask bc D H and I are similar in that we really don’t make a big deal about birthdays. At all. When people ask what we’re doing for our birthdays and we respond with nothing we mean exactly that. If I said nothing and he took it upon himself to plan a day of activities I’d be rather annoyed at his lack of understanding.

Just trying to make sure you’re planning this bc he wants it and not bc you feel its a big deal. Noticed you saying you want to celebrate it so just checking before offering ideas.

Post # 7
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee

I usually make a big breakfast, get a thoughtful gift, go on a walk together and go to a nice restaurant for dinner. Does he have a hobby that he loves eg fishing

Post # 10
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

mrshogue :  Got it ๐Ÿ™‚ In that case how about a couples spa day? D H didn’t think he’d be into it but ended up loving the experience and we treat ourselves once a month now. Depending on where you live maybe a nice lunch cruise?

I like the hanging out suggestion above though. Gift he wants, good food, couple rounds of awesomeness. ๐Ÿ˜ Never fails.

Post # 11
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

cooking class? go to the zoo or a museum?  geocaching?  get a new pet?  go to brunch?  sledding if you live in a snowy area?  hiking?  art class?  mini golf?  zip lining?  gambling?  a scavenger hunt?  food tasting that isn’t alcohol, like honey or oil & vinegar or apples?

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

mrshogue :  I get it… he’s like my husband.  He loves bbqing for people but does NOT want any attention on himself.  A BBQ on his own birthday means it’s about him, people would keep commenting on it, and so he wouldn’t want to do it.  He cooked for our wedding just to keep the attention OFF him, lol.

Post # 13
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

mrshogue :  

I had an ex-boyfriend like that. Would be up for a party or barbecue with his friends most other days of the year but for his birthday wanted to be left alone. He would even tell his family that he didn’t want gifts or to go out for dinner and would insist if they tried to push him.

However, he always liked just having me around for his birthday – I’d bring him a low-key gift like a book or clothes and some of his favourite snacks. We’d have a swim in the pool or the jacuzzi, sex, watching a movie of his choice, and he’d be very contented.

For people who are low key about their birthdays, the best thing you can do is just be there, and let them decide what they want to do.

Post # 14
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

Me and my boyfriend plan a day for each other. So when it’s my bfs birthday I plan a day for him and other way around. It can be implemented that that birthday person calls the shots and other plans. 

On my bfs birthday I made him a full English breakfast. Then we took a train to another town and went to a museum. Lunch at a restaurant that we hadn’t tried but is his favourite type of food. Then we went to a sports game and then got something to eat. On my birthday he took me to brunch in another town and we went to see my sports team. Then we went to a nice dinner. This was the awesoem part since amy bf is not adventurous and it was type of food that I love but he hasn’t wanted to try since it seems too complicated (Korean bbq). I really liked this thing.

So if he doesn’t like concerts, sports etc. So maybe a movie? Cooking class? Dancing? Going to street food market? Dinner somewhere a bit put there? Day trip to somewhere? Spa? Swimming? Hiking? Ice skating? Museum? Stand up comedy? Play? Night in with awesome snacks and his favourite things?

Post # 15
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

A weekend away? 

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