(Closed) Bisexual and Married?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 63
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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s2bmzbrown:  Ooops! Meant that for c4rr134nn!

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Post # 64
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

When I reached the age of 6/7, I started getting sexual feelings about boys and I asked my mom about sex and ”humping”. I wanted to hump my best friend (who was a boy) Lol She gave me the talk at that point and I went off being a kid and liking boys. It wasnt until grade 5 when I started sneaking peeks at my older brothers playboy mags and liking boobs, a lot. By grade 6, I knew I liked girls too and had my first sexual experience with a girl in my class who already had boobs lol. My facisnation with girls continued but I never had any doubts that I still liked boys.

I love my Fiance and we share girls together. I would never cheat on him with a guy or a woman regardless. Ive dated women, Ive had sex with women, Im a real Bisexual but I prefer what a man gives me a little more than a woman. 

There is absolutely not one ounce of confusion.

Post # 66
6003 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State


I am Bisexual. I have pretty much known that I was attracted to men and women for as long as I can remember. What’s very odd in my mind is that I can remember being completely drawn to a girl when I was as young as about 8. I was at a museum in a kids science room sitting at a table and there was another girl at the table and for some reason I left and was so confused as to what I was feeling. I knew I liked boys by that time. But it was the first time that I had gotten those feelings like a “crush” for a girl instead of a boy. It wasn’t until high school that I explored the feelings I had. As an adult now I’m completely secure in my sexuality. I am attracted to people. men and women alike. I have dated more men than women but I don’t think that was on purpose. I just think it was how the chips fell for me.

I think a common misunderstanding about bisexual people who are in a committed relationship is that we NEED both genders at all times to feel fulfilled. for a straight person or a gay person this isn’t really something that comes up because they are in a relationship with one person who is the gender of their choice. When you like BOTH genders, some think that if you’re in a relationship with someone of one gender that you’re somehow “missing” the other gender. That’s just not how it works. Of course attraction to others will always happen. I believe that’s true of anyone though. But being in a relationship with a man doesn’t mean I’m sitting here thinking “damn but I want a woman too!”. Being bisexual for me means I can be fulfilled by a man OR a woman, not that I need both to somehow feel fulfilled. Does tha tmake sense? I had a hard time explaining my thoughts lol.

Post # 67
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

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s2bmzbrown:  It’s apparently a big deal to those who are judgemental or unable to truly understand it. As a straight woman, I don’t see an issue with being bisexual and married. Bisexual individuals are not confused. They happen to prefer both sexes for what they are. Being bisexual does not mean you cannot make up your mind or that you would cheat once married. That’s erroneous. Even straight people in a marriage cheat.

I truly dislike ignorance…

Post # 68
3022 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I personally think everyone is a little bit bi. Or falls somewhere on the bi spectrum, if you will. Most people just don’t want to acknowledge when they feel attraction to someone of the same sex (if they identify as straight, that is).

When you find someone you want to be with in a committed relationship or marriage, it doesn’t matter who you’re attracted to outside of that relationship. You don’t act on it.

Post # 69
2504 posts
Sugar bee

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s2bmzbrown:  Sounds normal to me. I don’t know what I consider myself…somewhere on the spectrum in the grey area lol, but I love my Fiance and am marrying him for the person he is. He just happens to have a penis. If he were the same exact person but with a vagina I’d still be marrying him (or her).

Any part of a married couple can be attracted to other people.

I don’t think you’re confused, I think you don’t have a sexual preference and the person you chose to spend your life with happens to be a man. Still being attracted to women, when you’re bi, is the same as a straight woman still being attracted to men after she marries.

Post # 70
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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prahajess:  I totally agree, and I think that’s why so many people think being gay is a choice.  If people are in the middle of a spectrum, then they do make a choice (meaning, they choose a man or a woman as their partner, or they choose an exclusively Herero or homosexual “lifestyle”).  Some of us are accepting of our feelings and go with it, while others decry homosexuality and refuse to accept themselves.  



Post # 71
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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s2bmzbrown: To answer your question, I personally don’t think it’s a big deal at all. My sister is straight, she is married, and I know that she is not going to go out and have sex with every cute guy she sees just because she is interested in men. Similarly, my cousin is bisexual, she is currently engaged to a man and I know that she is not going to go out and have sex with every cute man or woman that she sees just because she is interested in both men and women. People generally fear and dislike what they don’t understand and/or aren’t accustomed to. It’s sad but true. 

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c4rr134nn:  I can’t really understand your post but if you are saying what I think you are saying, I would like to share my opinon with you which might help you to clear up some confusion you have (or not!). Many people like to talk about sexuality in very concrete, black and white terms which I totally disagree with. I don’t believe that you are either this OR that OR the other. I really think sexuality is a continuum. You will have people who only like members of the same sex, straight people who only like members of the opposite sex and everything in between (bi people, people with slight leanings to one direction etc). Being somewhere in the middle doesn’t mean you are confused, it means that that’s your preference. To (over)simplify, it’s like food. You will have some people who HATE banana splits, some people who LOVE banana splits and then the rest of the people at some different point throughout the continuum. 

As for the totally off-topic nature vs nurture men are from mars women are from venus debate, I agree that men and women are physically different (can anyone really argue that most men are not taller and faster and stronger than most women?) and I agree that the brains of men and women are probably structurally different as well HOWEVER structural differences does NOT prove functional differences. There are SO many covariables and confounding factors that influence the way we act, think, talk, react etc that no one can say for sure why men and women are different. This has been debated for thousands of years and will continue to be debated for thousands more. We certainly aren’t going to solve anything here right now but I do like reading these debates. They are quite interesting and definitely deserving of their own thread. If anyone makes one, I’d love to join in.

Post # 72
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014


Jako:  You’re not wrong in that men and women are biologically different–I mean, we have different reproductive organs, so that’s an obvious one–but the idea that being biologically different means that our brains and thought patterns are geared differently is the problem. While I agree that biology probably has something to do with how we mentally identify as male or female, that’s a tiiiiiiiiiny drop in the ocean compared to how we’re socialized to identify as male or female. The way I think of it is, if women and men were so inherently different because of biological alone, there would be no transgender people in the world–and because this is clearly socially, culturally, and even scientifically false, to deny this fact is to deny these people the very right to exist in the first place.

As to the OP, I’m bi and I am happily married to my husband.

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