(Closed) Biting the bullet-NWR

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I would try once more, if you feel the friendship is worth it, and you really care about that person. If she doesn’t accept write her off. Someone who continues to cling to the drama is not worth your time.

Post # 4
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissHobbit: I think I would try one more time. Then you can’t say you didn’t give it a shot, repeatedly. If she still doesn’t accept your apology, and you’ve made the honest effort,  then it’s on her.

 

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would definitely try one more time. it can be hard to accept an apology immediately after the fact – maybe she just needed time to process. if things don’t get better this time, cut your losses.

Post # 8
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

@MissHobbit: I’m oversensitive as well, seriously, EVERYTHING gets to me. Look at me wrong and I will assume that you are mad at me and I then must give you the cold shoulder until YOU apologize. Really, it’s a little crazy, I need to grow up.

ANYWAY – I feel like you should reach out once more. If your former friend isn’t interested, then the ball should be in her court. I think the best thing is that you know there was fault on both sides, maybe if you point this out to her she will be a little more open to hearing what you have to say?

Post # 9
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

That really sucks, but I’d try one more time, just for the sake of your mutual friends (who are probably super tired of her drama and just want it to go away).

I hear you on not wanting to rehash old drama, and my suggestion is not to!  Apologize, but if she starts going on about what happened/didn’t happen, just nicely cut her off and say something about wanting a fresh start.  I’ve done this a couple of times with overly dramatic family members, and once it worked perfectly!  (gotta warn you though: once it ratcheted up the drama a notch, so it is a bit risky depending on her personality)

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Give it a second chance with a second apology. After that, be done with it. The ball is in her court. Overall you will feel better about having done it.

Post # 11
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would ask the mutual friend why she thinks it will be different than the previous time when you tried.  Then depending on her answer, evaluate whether you want to try again.  If you already tried I’d say the ball is already in their court, but certainly it is nice to be bigger.  But, perhaps it’s not worth your time and energy if you’ll be rejected again.  Maybe the mutual friend has also asked the other person to try, you never know, or knows the other friend has cooled off.

But why would the mutual friend feel caught up in this?  When I’ve had mutual friends caught in the middle, I do everything I can to avoid involving them.  Off the top of my head, I can think of a situation with mutual friends of my ex where the relationship ended very badly.  I never mentioned him to them, never asked about him, although regretably I was aware they would likely pass on anything I said about what was happening with me.  The only issue was events those friends hosted…and they just told us when the other was coming and let us make our own decisions.  We were polite but interacted as little as possible.  Regardless of whether you make the effort with the former friend, you need to stop involving the current friend in this problem.

The topic ‘Biting the bullet-NWR’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors