- 5 years ago
Hi lovely bees,
I am a crazy bee in waiting…. Me and SO has been together for 1 year 9 months, and I just turned 31, he’s turning 36 this month. about 3 weeks ago I found out that he bought the ring from Bluenile on Jan 8th. It was very exciting in the beginning for me, as I knew having the ring means there is light at the end of the tunnel! I have posted about this discovery in another thread here:
Anyway, I have had expectations for a proposal last year a few times when something special happened. I thought he would propose in Switzerland (he is Swiss and he brought me home to see his whole family and friends) or Cannes or Monte Carlo or Innsbrook or Germany or Nice during our summer vacation in Europe, or during our trips to New York, Boston or Chicago last year, or my birthday on December 7th, or Xmas, or New Year. We even went to Vegas and the Grand Canyon together in December. All those things we did together were amazing, but it only make me disappointed at the end of the trips that I am still just his Girlfriend.
Now that I know he was looking for rings since last November and finally got one on Jan 8th, I am having problems not imagining when he will propose. This Thursday is V-day and although I doubt he’d propose this week (he has not asked my parents yet), I am afraid I would still feel disappointed if after that day we’re still not engaged… We have a vacation to Aruba coming up Feb22th. He will turn 36 on Feb 24th. I am thinking that is more likely the time and place he’d propose, but he knows me so well, and he probably knows I would expect that and not do it just because of this… I am so afraid of being disappointed again! This time it’s going to hurt, since I know he has the ring!
So lately, against my better judgement to stay away from the topic, I have been hinting a lot. I found a FedEx box which I am pretty sure is the shipping box for the ring and have been bugging him to know what was in it… He would just smile and say “I’m not telling you anything”… This morning I asked again, and got frustrated because he is not giving me any signal that a proposal is near…. I then became very emotional and left the house in a bad mood. After I got to work, I wrote him an email to apologize. I wrote:
I am really sorry for behaving like a spoiled kid this morning after getting frustrated from an unsuccessful probe….
Patience has never been my virtue and worse yet I am going through a stage of life where I haven’t been before (no, not menopause…). I will try to be cool for a while… it still is a torture, but I will try not to show it, till you decide to tell me, and that’s what the Master wants, right?
Ooch…I am sorry again…“
He replied immediately:
Don’t worry. I know what you are going through. I can see it, I can feel it. Don’t feel sorry. Be patient for a little longer. No, I won’t tell you how long, simply because that would spoil the surprise.
Love you baby“
It made me cry!!! I am so ashamed that I didn’t have enough confidence in him to trust that he would know me and know what I feeling… I probed because I was afraid he would not propose soon… but looks like, he knows it all and he would do it soon!!
What a bitter/sweet feeling! I just have to vent and hope all other waiting bees will have their wishes come true soon! Happy Chinese New Year!