(Closed) Bittersweet….Tough choices

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

Just breathe. The apartment and the wedding are both exciting. It just boils down to this:

Would you rather put your money into a big, celebratory event that lasts for a number of HOURS, in which you get to spend time with family and friends?

OR would you rather invest in a place you will be living (with your FH and future children) for YEARS?

One is about experiences, the other is about comforts. So you’re right, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Look back on your past and list your greatest memories, comforts, achievements, happy moments, etc. Tell yourself – were those “experiences” or long-term “comforts?” If your happiest times in life have been experiences, go for the wedding. You won’t regret it. But if you’re the kind of person who loves a good party but can’t remember it in 3 months, go for the apartment.

Post # 4
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

And you want a huge blingy wedding??? If I were you, I would still have the wedding of my dreams, but a lot smaller!! Have you even considered maybe having the reception in the brand new larger apartment? I think it would be super adorable to have it there since it’s where you’re  starting your life! Splurge on the photographer and dress, but maybe have a pot luck dinner! Which would save you TONS of money! Go all out for the ceremony, but small for the reception! 

Post # 5
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chachaD:  that’s a tough decision, but think of it this way: if you give up the apartment and splurge on the wedding, will you regret it after it’s over? will you regret that you didn’t take the apartment?

 

if i was in your position, i thik i would definitely take the apartment over the wedding. but i wasn’t one to dream of a big white wedding either so it would be easier for me.

Post # 8
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

Won’t you need/want the space for the family you’re planning?  Maybe think of it that way: If the whole goal of having the wedding soon is to get ready to TTC, why not prioritize the expense that will better help to prepare for your new addition(s)?

Post # 9
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@chachaD:  You said you were an emotional person.

 

What I just heard you say was, “I have a huge family and tons of friends and just the idea of having them all together was exciting.” So plan a wedding that can accomplish that. THAT is the wedding you wanted. THAT is what was motivating you. And you can do that on $500 or $50,000.



Post # 11
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@chachaD:  This does suck but honestly, the apartment will b better for your marriage than a wedding. I really think you should focus on the blessing of more space for your family.

Post # 12
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

@chachaD:  🙂 Glad I could be of help. I’m no expert but that idea just kind of came to me as I was typing. I think it would be a healthy way to look at it. It’s always good to know you have support here on the bee! I’m awful at keeping up with threads, though, so if you ever want to keep me posted make sure you tag me. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Girl… I understand!  We decided to have a big (for us) wonderful wedding just because I wanted to.  And it’ll be great, I’m sure.  But I have SUCH bad money guilt and I really just think it’s all too much now.  I wish I would’ve just had a small destination wedding somewhere and saved thousands for other things. 

I’d do the apartment.  It makes sense.  And there won’t be any guilt.  🙂

Post # 15
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It is possible to have everything you want, but maybe just not simultaneously!

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