Post # 1
My fiance and I live in Sweden, but i’m originally from Florida. So we have decided to get married in FL next November. Here’s the rub. We originally chose November 11th, a friday to get married. But our venue called my family in Floriday yesterday to let us know the city has decided to rent out our venue Robings Lodge for the entire weekend. So they cancelled our reservation. We loved that location!!! So we either keep the date and get a new location (which is no easy feat for our budget and the style we want), or we change the date. Most of my family live in Florida, and my fiance’s family is all in Sweden. So we would likely all come out a week before the wedding and plan to do a cruise right after the wedding and we are inviting our family and friends to join us on that if they choose. So I’m hoping these factors can help mitigate the issue of cost of traveling for Thanksgiving weekend. I read a previous post where everyone was like no way for getting married on Black Friday. But I’m wondering giving our particular situation what do you think? We only have 3 people coming from out of town in the states, and I’ve spoken to 2 and they have both said no worries.
The big thing is my fiance hasn’t expeienced american thanksgiving back in the states (I host it here in Sweden). And he LOVES shopping and is dying to experience Black Friday. The last 2 years he went shopping with my mom and aunts for day after xmas. He loves it. So I thought if we had the wedding at like 5.30 pm. Then people have time to still do their black friday shopping, perhaps even catch a nap then get ready for the wedding. We’d do the rehersal on Wed instead of Thurs. This way we’d get to have a big family thanksgiving together before the wedding. Two birds, one stone and all.
The only other option is moving the wedding to the first weekend in November or first weekend in December. And we plan to do our bachelorette/bachelor party the weekend before, which would fall on either halloween or thanksgiving anyway.
What are your thoughts? Should I go for it?
Thanks for your help all!
Post # 2
I was about to say go for it until you got to the part about your fiancé wanting to go shopping.
If your guests are ok with it, then I don’t see a problem, but I also don’t think it’s realistic for people in the wedding (so the bride, groom, parents of the bride and groom and wedding party) to think they can spend the morning shopping. For me, Black Friday shopping is exhausting…there are just so many people, lines are long, emotions run high etc.etc., that I just don’t know if it’s realistic to do it in the morning of the wedding. I would just go over the timing of the day (for instance, if you start the ceremony late, will you do the pictures earlier? Do you have to oversee any set-up in the venue? When will it end? etc. etc.) before making a decision.
If your fiance really wants to go shopping, I think it would be better to pick one of the other weekends. If it’s something a lot of people from Sweden would want to experience – and they are planning on going for the bachelor/bachelorette parties anyway – it may be better to organize it so they can definitely take part.
Post # 3
My thought was maybe now that they (rather stupidly) start black friday on thurs evening now. He could go then and maybe just go out for a little while in the morning. My family usually just goes for a few hours in the morning. Usually done by 9 or 10 am. I figured then they could rest and relax for a few hours before getting ready for the wedding. As for planning and what not. Hired a planner for day of, that is taking care of everything. All the set up and all that. Mom is helping with designing of stuff and shopping for supplies. But she is leaving all that with the planner, and then they set everything up on the day and take it down. The plan is ceremony at 5.30, cocktail hour and pictures, then reception at 7-11. We will do some getting ready photos and some first look photos. But most will take place during the cocktail hour.
The problem with the other dates in November is it affects when we’d do our bachelor/bachelorette parties. Plus if we moved it to the beginning of November, then we couldn’t stay for thanksgiving. It’s too long of a vacation, that’s almost 6 weeks from when we’d arrive and prepare for the wedding and then leave after the holidays. We get 5 weeks vacay in Sweden. So we’d miss out on Thanksgiving then. And the weekend before thanksgiving doesn’t work because then we’d be on a cruise for turkey day, which we don’t want. So if we want to experience thanksgiving on the same trip, it’s Black Friday or first weekend in December (which I wanted to avoid because of close proximity to xmas and my bday).
Did I mention how frustrating this is? lol. November 11 was the perfect day until the city went and ruined it! lol
Post # 4
Would you be open to the possibility of changing the venue then? I’m sure the Bees here could have some wonderful ideas to help you look for something. With all the logistics of traveling and events taking places, perhaps it would be easier if you changed the venue.
Post # 5
That is a frustrating situation to say the least! Had you put a deposit down on the venue? Seems like they shouldn’t just pry the date from you! But such is life, I suppose, and no way to get Nov 11th back!
My first inclination was to say do what you want; it’s ok to ask people to make some sacrifices for your big day :). But then you mentioned all that stuff about your Fiance loving shopping and wanting to experience Black Friday, which changed my mind. Honestly the day is going to be exhausting enough without Black Friday shopping, and if he really wants to experience that, he’s just going to be completely done for that day. Even if he went shopping Thursday night – it’s still a tiring experience and I think it’s more important to have him as alert as possible for the wedding than try to fit everything in and risk being exhausted. Similarly I think you want to have some open time just in case you have last minute things that need to get done!
That being said – there are a few options. One would be looking into another venue. But if you have your heart set on the venue, I’d say go with the early Nov date and try to extend your vacation if possible. I had my bachelorette party around Halloween and it was a blast, because there are so many fun things to do that time of year! Is there a way you can extend vacation to 6 weeks considering you only get married once?
Last option would be doing the weekend before Thanksgiving and cutting the cruise a little short, or doing your honeymoon the year after.
Hope something works out for you!
Post # 6
So, the deal is this. We can get Nov 11th back, but it means changing the venue. Which would be fine if we could find another venue like Robbing Park Lodge in Broward or Palm Beach County.
What we need is a place that is cheap without a ton of restrictions. We would like to bring some Whiskey that my fiance created and has been aging for 3 years and will hopefuly be ready next year. We want rustic chic (but not hillybilly). We looked at Davie Ranch. Too rustic, not enough chic, and the live animals plus hay = allergies for us and guests. I do not want palm trees or beaches. I want large old oak trees or banyan trees. I want garden lighting and outdoor photo booth and games. I’m a celiac and we have found a caterer (through our planner) that is great at handling the gluten free catering bit. So we dont want a restaurant, hotel, or ballroom with all kinds of regulations. We want to have hard alcohol so that rules out most of the parks. So that’s why we are struggling to find another location. Has to be in budget, have the right feel, and allow alochol.
We are discussing the possibility of moving it to first weekend of December, doing the thanksgiving thing, then bachelor/bachelorette parties, wedding, then honeymoon, and home just in time for xmas. But honestly, not my favorite idea. My bday is a week after xmas, and I hate it. No one ever celebrates my bday or cares about it because it’s new years and everyone is wiped out from xmas and new years eve. I’m afraid if our wedding is so close to xmas, we’ll never have the money or time to celebrate because we’ll alwyas be worried about xmas being only 3 weeks later.
Honestly, this whole thing is rather depressing, and making me feel kind of hopeless like there is no winning situation. And no matter what I will have to compromise and likely be unhappy with the result. This should be a happy time, an exciting time, and just in the first 6 weeks of being engaged and planning a wedding I have faced nothing but shut doors and attitude and resistance from my mother (who is taking point since i’m 5k miles away).
If anyone out there has some awesome venues they could recommend, I’d appreciate it.
Post # 7
Okay, so you had already reserved that date, paid a deposit and signed the paperwork, and the venue just cancelled your WEDDING?!
Oh, HELL to the no. Girl, I would find a new venue. If they are willing to cancel your wedding JUST because another, better deal came along they obviously can’t be trusted. If they are being this difficult and shady now, do you really want to deal with that for the next year while you plan your wedding?? You got there first. I don’t care WHO wants that date, it’s yours and they can’t have it. And any business that would go back on LEGAL documents is not any business I would want to be involved with.
Post # 8
The Lodge is in a Davie city park. We hadn’t signed the papers or paid the deposit yet (we reserved it last friday), this week we tried to pay the deposit for the venue and sign the paper work, but the city kept giving us the run around. So then 2 days ago they tell us the city has decided to book the entire park for the entire weekend, so they cancelled our reservation. It’s because the date is Veteran’s Day, I guess. But when we spoke to them last week, we were told it was available. Then when we went to follow through with the reservation the city came in and snapped it up for themselves. My fiance wanted to try and offer twice the price for us to have it, but I had to explain it’s a city park, and when the city wants it they get it, end of story.
Post # 9
I think you should go with a different date and figure out something else for your bachelor & bachelorette parties, maybe have them a few months in advance. It just sounds like there is too much going on that weekend, and you should be focusing on your wedding when you get married, not Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping. It would be exhausting for me to deal with last minute wedding stuff and a big family holiday at the same time. But, you know, do what you want to do!
Post # 10
Okay, that makes a bit more sense. I still think that is concerning but not quite as bad as I first imagined.
Have you considered looking outside of those counties? I’m from California and it’s pretty normal to have a venue 2-3 hours from where you live. I just did a quick search and found Wild Acres Villa by the Ocala National Forest, looks pretty and rustic! They do outside catering. http://www.wildacresvilla.com. This one has outside catering and you can bring your own alcohol: http://harmonygardens.org/wedding-faq.html
Again, not sure if that is doable for you, but if you want a rustic feel and more options you might want to look into some other counties. The date sounds really important to you!
Post # 11
I don’t know why you can’t have your bachelor and bachelorette parties any other weekend besides the week before? That’s an easy move IMO. I also don’t really understand what your birthday does for all of this?
If your Fiance wants to do black friday shopping, do not have your wedding the same day. That will be a disaster.
It sounds like you have a lot of “must haves” and stipulations for this wedding to be “perfect”. I’m not trying to be rude but I think it’s time to get a little realistic here. You’re going to have to start bending a little on some things. Whether it’s the date(s) (i.e. bachelor/bachelorette parties, the cruise can also be taken at a different time) or all the little elements of your venue to find a different one.
Do they have any dates in October?
Post # 12
I can’t do the bachelor bachelorette parties another time, because we live in Sweden. My bridal party lives in NY, NC, FL, and Sweden. It’s not very easy to get everyone together a few months in advance for a party. It’s not financially feasible. So we have to do everything in one shot.
As for another location, my family refuses to go beyond those areas. Our guests won’t travel more than say 30-45 min drive from Ft. Lauderdale. And Miami isn’t an option, because no one is comfy with driving there and the venues are too pricey.
I wish this was an easy fix situation, otherwise I’d have fixed it by now. lol.
Post # 13
I’m voting for the first weekend in November! Halloween Bach parties sound awesome! Also, could your finace send my fiance some of his shoppping enthusiasm? I swear, if it’s not for cars or electronics he’s a gian baby about it!
Post # 14
I have found a bunch of gorgeous venues in Central Florida that i’d love, but my family won’t go there. If it were up to me, we’d get married at our home in Sweden in our barn (once it’s fixed up). But my father is too sick to travel, and it’s too expensive for my side to travel to Sweden. It’s crazy but it 2-3 x’s the price to fly from USA to Sweden and back, then for us to fly to USA and back. Our last trip was 275 USD per person from Sweden to USA. My mom cant find tickets under 1000 USD per person. Crazy huh? So, instead I have to get married in the place I least wanted to get married in. haha. The things we do for family.
Post # 15
Hahaha. My father is constantly cracking on my fiance, because he’s never met a man who likes to shop as much as him. lol. He is all to eager to get up at the crack of dawn on the day after xmas and go shopping with my mom and aunt. I stay in bed and sleep like a smart person. hahahaha.
My bachelorette party is kind of geeky. A trip to Harry Potter World. I’m not a drinker and I have some anxiety issues with large crowds. So Halloween in Orlando at Universal, sounds like a personal hell for me. lol. The fiance has it easy, a fishing trip to the keys. It’s me that has it difficult. lol