Black tie for destination wedding?

posted 3 months ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
10044 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unless you’re throwing an absolutely fabulous 5 star event, yes I think it’s a major inconvenience to your guests.

I mean do most of your friends and family already own tuxes and formal dresses? We own neither, so I’d have to buy a gown and my husband would have to…rent? A tux? I don’t even know how that would work with traveling. No thanks.

Post # 17
Member
6185 posts
Bee Keeper

I would say a less formal event might be easier to pull off for a destination wedding.  But if you are wanting to have that level of formality I day go for it.  You might get a higher decline rate for black tie. It could be a logistical challenge to take a full on evening gown in a plane and a tuxedo too. 

So I think maybe one step lower in formality might be easier to pull off. It’s also a know your crowd thing.  Are they used to black tie?  If so then it might not be a big deal? 

Also how far of a destination?  Overseas?  Is it requiring a transatlantic fight?  Or is it destination like a couple hours away? 

Post # 18
Member
7602 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Man, if I had to drag my fancy-fancy clothes all across gods green earth for a destination wedding, I’d be pissed. Don’t do this to your guests. What a huge imposition.

Post # 19
Member
14165 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Most destination weddings are IMO a burden to guests. They put an exotic venue ahead of anyone’s convenience. It often costs more to attend in terms of time, money, and accessibility, and asks guests to take your idea of their vacation. Regardless of what couples may feel or say to the contrary, there will be pressure to attend your once in a lifetime event. Personally, I think adding the demands of a formal event would be adding even more to that burden. 

Post # 20
Member
14096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s too much. I literally said the word “obnoxious” outloud when I read the post title. You are asking so much of your guests to coordinate travel AND a black tie event. 

Post # 21
Member
5101 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@shotbwee2:  lol…I’d  be cursing you if I had to pack a tux and a full length evening dress (plus my obligatory heat inducing shapewear) into a suitcase to a hot humid destination. Honestly, unless you are hosting a true black tie event like a PP mentioned, I’d personally skip it and let people wear more destination friendly and weather appropriate attire. A destination wedding is even more of expense for your guests and forcing them to add on the cost of going out and purchasing black tie appropriate clothing is another unnecessary expense. Most people will have a more cocktail or formalish outfit in their wardrobes that they can pull out for an occasion such as a wedding but many people dont have tuxes or long evening  dresses knocking about. Let people dress how they  feel comfortable. It wont take away from your day. Keep it guest friendly. You’ll have a much better time if guests arent silently cursing you in their head whilst struggling to shove a tux in a suitcase,  finding an iron or laundry service to steam their outfit after spending 10 hours in a suitcase or trussing themselves up into their boiling hot outfit in tropical  weather! 

Post # 22
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It completely depends on your venue. An all-inclusive in Mexico? Yeah I’d say it’s overboard and overall not desireable to plan a Black Tie wedding for an outdoor event in a tropical venue. However, if you’re thinking Black Tie at a super formal Italian Villa that’s completely different. Assuming your guests are familiar with BT events. The hardship of traveling for a Destination Wedding is already expensive and time consuming so you’d better make darn sure you understand what hosting BT means.

Obviously everyone else has already touched on the fact that BT is a level of overall formality, not just a dress code. I think people have big dreams of having a “fancy” BT wedding but in reality they’re just expecting to set a dress code and aren’t actually hosting their guests to that level. 

My SIL and a group of mutual friends were all invited to a BT wedding that is roughly 4 hours from where we live – so a domestic Destination Wedding. They went out of their way to make sure they were appropriately dressed, and because the bride in question came from some money they naturally assumed this was in fact a BT wedding. They got there to find a DJ, average bar, mediocre food/apps. Overall it was your run of the mill wedding and they were all annoyed they’d made it a point to rent tuxes for those who didn’t own, and all the women bought formal gowns. Clearly the bride and her family were confused on what it meant to have a BT wedding.

Post # 23
Member
20 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@shotbwee2:  

 

I had a destination wedding in the beach. The attire was simply chic summer dresses. Guys even wore shorts with nice button ups. Casual was always out theme. I would hate to have to ask guests to wear black ties on a beach. 

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