Post # 1
I have a wedding coming up that is “black tie optional” according to the invite. I asked a friend close to the bride and who has been helping with the wedding just how fancy the bride would like the guests to be dressed (because my boyfriend was stressing about tux or no tux) and she said it doesnt mean all guys have to wear tuxes, just suits at the least.
Now I’ve found a dress that I like and am wondering if it’s appropriat, but I can’t get in touch with this same person.
The wedding is in the afternoon but the reception is in the evening. The ceremony is at a really nice catholic church and the reception is at one of the city’s nicer hotels.
The dress is black lace design with a tan/nude color underneath, fitting but not body hugging and hits right at me knees (definitely not as tight and short on me as the model in the link below)
Here is a link to the dress: http://www.hm.com/us/product/02972?article=02972-B
So, what do you guys think? And any suggestion for what to wear with it/hair up or down?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
I think its fine. Short cocktail dresses are acceptable even at a black tie event. For me, it would depend on what it looks like in person – H&M can have some stuff that looks great online but cheap in person.
Post # 4
@MrsWBS: Thanks for the response! I agree about the H&M stuff sometimes being cheap. Thankfully, this one is just gorgeous and looks like it cost way more than the $50 I paid for it. You’re right though, was totally shocked something this nice came from H&M.
Post # 5
I think you would probably be one of the more casually dressed people there, but you would be well within the realm of acceptable.
Post # 6
I think it’s ok, but I’d want to wear a long gown, there are never enough opportunities to wear long gowns.
Post # 7
I think it’s good if it hits you at your knee. Its too short on the model.
Post # 8
Cocktail or floor length dresses are appropriate. However, you need a shawl or jacket for the ceremony. Catholic wedding = covered shoulders.
Traditionalists would say black is inappropriate as it indicates mourning, but most people don’t believe black is inappropriate anymore.
Post # 9
Hey guys, not sure how to edit a post – but i just wanted to say when i asked my friend about the dress code previously she basicalyl said guys dont have to wear tux “she just didnt want people showing up in just like khakis and polos” which led me to believe it would be dressy but not black tie.
So, are floor length dresses really the only appropriate option here?
Post # 10
It’s a lovely dress. That said …
– this is a great excuse to wear a floor-length dress, and those don’t come by all that often. Carpe diem.
– I think these days it’s fine to wear a black dress to a wedding, especially a really dressy one. Even so, black lace with a nude lining isn’t necessarily a great choice for a Catholic church ceremony. And, as PPs pointed out, you would want to have something that will cover your shoulders and will want the skirt to be knee-length, just to be on the safe side. Some churches are more conservative than others – it may be a non-issue, the bride and bridesmaids might all be strapless, and no one is going to throw you out for being underdressed, but … my $0.02 is that I’d save this dress for a wedding that wasn’t in a Catholic church.
Post # 11
I think it depends on your height and shape. I love that dress and have tried it on. At 5’9 with curves, it is too tight on the rear and too short for me to wear to mass or a black tie optional event. My friend is 5’2 and has a flat rear and looks totally okay. Only you can try it on and see.
FWIW, my rule is that a dress has to hit my knees and I better not have to think about undergarments showing for it to be black tie optional ready. For me, this dress would be out on both. But it could be fine on you.
I think black and the shoulder coverage are fine. The rule our church went by was the bra strap rule– could you wear a normal bra without it showing? If so, the straps were wide enough for church.
Post # 12
When it comes to formality… it really is what the men are supposed to wear that sets the tone (sadly, in today’s society not enough men seem to take pride in this part of their gentlmenly appearance at social occasions… hence the need for a spelled out dress code)
BLACK TIE (required) – MEN = Tuxedos & WOMEN = Gowns
BLACK TIE (preferred) – MEN = Tuxedos & Dark Suits & WOMEN = Gowns, Cocktail Dresses or Cocktail Pants / Taffeta Skirts etc.
BLACK TIE (optional) – MEN = Tuxedos or Business Suits & WOMEN = Gowns, Cocktail Dresses or otherwise upscale clothing (same as Black Tie Preferred plus Suits, Nice Day Dresses, Business Wear etc)
Personally, whenever I am invited to an event that says “Black Tie” on it (in any configuration) I like to aim HIGHER than LOWER… but then I am one of those Ladies (and her guy) who enjoy the opportunity to dress up in life and indulge in the few times that men & women can be dashing, sexy and handsome together (it most definitely can rock the mood… before, during and after, if you get my gist)
Hope this helps,
PS… Cute dress. But it “could be” problematic for a Catholic Church Wedding (and I take it this will be a nice affair in a nice Church… Cathedral perhaps?) unless you choose to find something to deal with the shoulders while at the Ceremony. Black as a colour is fine for a Black Tie Wedding NOW … altho there are certainly some who believe it to be too morbid for such a joyous occasion (colour = happiness)
Post # 13
@Pollywog: Bra strap rule? If you are Catholic, your church is the exception, not the rule. You cover your shoulders for modesty. That means none of your shoulders showing. My mother would act like I showed up to mass in my underwear if I tried to walk in with anything less than a cap sleave.
Post # 14
I would look for something long.
Post # 15
I am having a black tie optional wedding and I honestly wouldn’t mind if you came in that dress (so long as it’s longer on you than on the model). I think though…like a PP said, this might be a fun opportunity for you to wear a longer gown should you want to!
Post # 16
The visible zipper and the fact that the lace only goes up half the backside notches down the dressiness to me. I would say that’s not quite what I think of as a black tie optional dress. But if the standard is actually “guys not in polo shirts,” you’re fine. I’d go dressy on accessories – nice heels, a string of pearls or sparkly earrings, hair up would be nice.