(Closed) Black Tie Optional vs Invited?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry, i don’t really understand your question.

did you mean black tie-optional vs informal?

 ETA: sorry! i just googled it after i sent my reply and i now see what you meant. According to the Knot, they both mean the same thing.

Post # 4
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I always heard optional but I think invited sounds nicer.

Post # 5
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

They mean different things to me (someone who doesn’t read the Knot – just like your guests!).

Optional – You don’t care either way if I wear black tie so I probably won’t make the effort if I don’t have it easily in my cupboard

Invited – It is preferred and would please the couple but I won’t be kicked out if I really can’t swing it. I’ll make the extra effort to wear it. 

So for invited, it sounds nicer anyway. 😉

Post # 6
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree, invited sounds better and leaves less room for people to decide to wear jeans. Which has jokingly been threatened by a guest of ours.

Post # 7
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we did black tie welcome – gives people the idea that it’s formal, but they don’t have to go out an buy a tux if they didn’t already have one

Post # 8
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@rkbecker: “black tie welcome” — that is brilliant!! don’t mind if I reuse that phrase? I am picky about wording and that has just changed my life a little 🙂

Post # 9
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Invited?  Never heard of this saying when it comes to attire….As a guest I would be super confused.   lol  

Seems like I’m the only one, as all of the above bees knew what you meant.  I feel stupid.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jenroh1984:  Don’t feel stupid!  I didn’t get it until someone spelled it out after the OP!

Post # 11
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would want black tie optional. What if the guy doesn’t have a tux? black tie invited would mean that he either needs to rent one or we shouldn’t come.

Post # 12
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

I like “Black tie encouraged”

It’s still polite and accommodating, but a little more suggestive than optional.

Post # 13
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@LittleBirdDee: Absolutely use it!  I think it’s less aggressive than “suggested” or “encouraged” and still lets people know they can absolutey wear a tux (ie- if they have a tux they will likely wear it, but on the other hand they will not feel obligated to go out and buy one just for the wedding!)

Post # 14
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I could’ve sworn I’ve seen “Black Tie Preferred.” Is that phrase a faux-pas?

Post # 15
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Staffordshire: I don’t think that it is a faux-pas, but it’s not the optimal wording. 

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