(Closed) Black Tie Optional wedding

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Black Tie Optional- what would you wear?

    Cocktail dress

    Floor length dress

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I would go with a nice cocktail dress, fancier accesories.  Personally I do not own a long dress, never have a reason to wear them, and cannot afford to shell out for one event.  Since it says “optional” many guests will likley lean towards cocktail attire, you don’t want to stand out if you’re overdressed.

    Post # 33
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee

    I voted “Other” because…

     

    For the 9 millionth time, Internet, BLACK TIE OPTIONAL IS NOT A THING.  Is it used frequently?  Yes.  Should it be?  No.

     

    Why?  Because it is rude, rude, rude.  

     

    Don’t specify attire on your invitation or website unless one of the following is true:

     

           a)  Your wedding is actually Black Tie

     

           b)  Your wedding is actually White Tie

     

           c)   Your venue has an actual dress code

     

    Do not tell people what to wear to your wedding.  It is rude and inappropriate.  Indicate the formality of the event by the time of day, choice of venue, and style of your invitations.

     

    If you event is formal, then men will know it is okay to wear a tux.  If they are really uncertain, they will either ask you or choose to wear a suit.  These were already options before you told them what to wear.

     

    Black Tie Option = “I want you to dress up for my wedding, but I don’t want to foot the bill for a true Black Tie/White Tie event.”

     

    Post # 35
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @grumbledore:  “I want you to dress up for my wedding, but I don’t want to foot the bill for a true Black Tie/White Tie event.”

    SO NOT TRUE. I had a true ‘black tie/white tie’ wedding. Full band, white glove service, plated dinner, open top shelf bar, started at 7pm, fancy venue, formal letterpress invitations, etc.

    However, I know that a lot of my guests did not own a tuxedo. I did not want them to feel they had to incur the expense of renting a tux/buying a gown to attend my wedding. So I said ‘black tie optional’ for that reason ONLY. How is that rude?!

    Post # 36
    Member
    13903 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If your partner is wearing a tux, I’d wear a floor length gown.  If he is wearing a suit, a cocktail (knee length) dress would also be appropriate.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2278 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted for a floor length gown.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    @CityBearBride:  +1 

    “However, I know that a lot of my guests did not own a tuxedo. I did not want them to feel they had to incur the expense of renting a tux/buying a gown to attend my wedding.”

    Well said and my sentiments exactly.

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    794 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

    @valardohaeris:  

    wear a formal dress – it could be short, but I love the opportunity to wear a long dress! They don’t come around often. 

    I went to a formal wedding in July, and one thing I did notice was that SO MANY people wore a less formal dress to the wedding ceremony and then got changed for their reception into their formal gowns.

    I really wish I had done this, because my dress was a bit wrinkly and worn already where everyone else looked all newly dressed and fresh!

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @skippydarling:  your reply gave me a good chuckle.  He thought you were asking if there would be ‘black ties’ there????  bahahaha.  You guys must have a lot of fun in your house:) 

     

    @valardohaerisI would wear something a bit more casual to the ceremony since it’s in the afternoon and change for the reception.  I would go long, but not over the top fancy/sexy type number since it is optional and may stand out a bit.  BCBG has quite a few floor length gowns that aren’t super detailed and would look great!

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    2113 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @valardohaeris:  Can you just contact the people getting married and ask which is more appropriate?

    Post # 45
    Member
    2447 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    A really nice cocktail dress. The only time a full-length dress is required is for white tie. Also, anything before 6pm in the evening is not traditionally black tie, you don’t want to be walking around in a full length gown in the middle of the afternoon.

    Post # 46
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @valardohaeris:  The Hilton in downtown Milwaukee is not a formal hotel. You’d look very out of place showing up in an elaborate gown there. I agree with the other poster about the tendency of dress in Milwaukee to be more casual.

    Personally, I would wear a cocktail dress and call it a day.

    The topic ‘Black Tie Optional wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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