Post # 32
I would go with a nice cocktail dress, fancier accesories. Personally I do not own a long dress, never have a reason to wear them, and cannot afford to shell out for one event. Since it says “optional” many guests will likley lean towards cocktail attire, you don’t want to stand out if you’re overdressed.
Post # 33
I voted “Other” because…
For the 9 millionth time, Internet, BLACK TIE OPTIONAL IS NOT A THING. Is it used frequently? Yes. Should it be? No.
Why? Because it is rude, rude, rude.
Don’t specify attire on your invitation or website unless one of the following is true:
a) Your wedding is actually Black Tie
b) Your wedding is actually White Tie
c) Your venue has an actual dress code
Do not tell people what to wear to your wedding. It is rude and inappropriate. Indicate the formality of the event by the time of day, choice of venue, and style of your invitations.
If you event is formal, then men will know it is okay to wear a tux. If they are really uncertain, they will either ask you or choose to wear a suit. These were already options before you told them what to wear.
Black Tie Option = “I want you to dress up for my wedding, but I don’t want to foot the bill for a true Black Tie/White Tie event.”
Post # 34
@mintblush: @CityBearBride: @MsMindle:
All good pieces of advice, thanks!
It’s been really interesting to read how differently everyone interprets “black tie optional”. I have a feeling it will be a mix, like how it was at your wedding.
That’s what I’m leaning towards, now I just have to decide which one 🙂
I think you might be right there!
Eek. Yeah, as long as I don’t wear jeans, I think I’ll be okay no matter what I decide! I might bring both dresses just in case I feel like I should change in between the ceremony and the reception.
Post # 35
@grumbledore: “I want you to dress up for my wedding, but I don’t want to foot the bill for a true Black Tie/White Tie event.”
SO NOT TRUE. I had a true ‘black tie/white tie’ wedding. Full band, white glove service, plated dinner, open top shelf bar, started at 7pm, fancy venue, formal letterpress invitations, etc.
However, I know that a lot of my guests did not own a tuxedo. I did not want them to feel they had to incur the expense of renting a tux/buying a gown to attend my wedding. So I said ‘black tie optional’ for that reason ONLY. How is that rude?!
Post # 36
If your partner is wearing a tux, I’d wear a floor length gown. If he is wearing a suit, a cocktail (knee length) dress would also be appropriate.
Post # 37
I voted for a floor length gown.
Post # 38
“However, I know that a lot of my guests did not own a tuxedo. I did not want them to feel they had to incur the expense of renting a tux/buying a gown to attend my wedding.”
Well said and my sentiments exactly.
Post # 40
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
wear a formal dress – it could be short, but I love the opportunity to wear a long dress! They don’t come around often.
I went to a formal wedding in July, and one thing I did notice was that SO MANY people wore a less formal dress to the wedding ceremony and then got changed for their reception into their formal gowns.
I really wish I had done this, because my dress was a bit wrinkly and worn already where everyone else looked all newly dressed and fresh!
Post # 41
your reply gave me a good chuckle. He thought you were asking if there would be ‘black ties’ there???? bahahaha. You guys must have a lot of fun in your house:)
@valardohaeris: I would wear something a bit more casual to the ceremony since it’s in the afternoon and change for the reception. I would go long, but not over the top fancy/sexy type number since it is optional and may stand out a bit. BCBG has quite a few floor length gowns that aren’t super detailed and would look great!
Post # 42
Can you just contact the people getting married and ask which is more appropriate?
Post # 43
One of my first thoughts was to change between the ceremony and the reception, but I thought it might be odd to do so. Now it sounds like more than a few people would do that, so maybe I’ll go that route.
Thanks for the tip!
Post # 44
I did that too. Both said it’s up to their guests and what they feel comfortable wearing.
Post # 45
A really nice cocktail dress. The only time a full-length dress is required is for white tie. Also, anything before 6pm in the evening is not traditionally black tie, you don’t want to be walking around in a full length gown in the middle of the afternoon.
Post # 46
The Hilton in downtown Milwaukee is not a formal hotel. You’d look very out of place showing up in an elaborate gown there. I agree with the other poster about the tendency of dress in Milwaukee to be more casual.
Personally, I would wear a cocktail dress and call it a day.