(Closed) Black Tie Preferred

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would say optional and make sure you put something on your wedding website (as well as spread the word) that guys must wear jackets due to the venue’s dress code.

Post # 4
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve only ever seen “black tie optional”. maybe on the reception card under the address you can write “Jackets required.” Typically restaurants that require formal attire say that and everyone gets the hint.

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Black tie optional should get the point across.

Post # 6
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Here’s how I interpret the two:

Black Tie Optional – I don’t have to wear a tux, a suit will suffice.

Black Tie (Preferred) – I have to rent a tux.

A think the latter is redundant because it means pretty much the same thing as just requiring Black Tie. Go with Black Tie Optional.

Post # 7
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

From the description of what you want, I think you should write”Black Tie Optional” in which case they will know that they can either wear a tuxedo or a dark suit, and I would guess that you will have far more men wearing suits than tuxedos unless you travel in circles that have a lot of black tie events. You’ll probably have more ladies wearing cocktail length dresses.

The other option would be to write “Black Tie” the preferred is implied. This way guests will know that they should wear a tuxedo, although you may have a few wear dark suits with a dark tie. The ladies will probably mostly wear long gowns and some cocktail length.

You do Not need to write “Jacket Required” as it is already implied. 

Post # 8
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The etiquette experts I personally consulted informed me that there is “black tie invited,” which requires a tuxedo, and “black tie optional,” which is how you (and I) are interpreting it.

However, since joining the Hive, I have read posts from another bee who seems to have a great deal of expertise in this area, and she insists that “black tie optional” is not proper and that the only reference to attire that should ever be on an invitation is “black tie” if the event  truly is, by definition, black tie. (I don’t know if that is technically correct or not, as I have not seen this in writing myself in an etiquette book.  However, she may very well be correct. Perhaps she will see your post and comment.)

Like you, I did not want to require my guests who did not own tuxedos to purchase or rent one for my wedding, so I used the “black-tie optional” language.

Post # 9
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

OOoo- love the Yale Club- one of my MOHs got married there last year- *beautiful* venue for a wedding!!! 🙂

She put black tie preferred on the bottom of her invite. You could put the jacket requirement  on your wedding web site, and the guest info card (where you list accommodation info)- “Jacket required for gentlemen at the Yale Club.” 

Most people will get from “black tie preferred” that you better be in a suit & tie, but since so many are traveling, better safe than sorry! (You don’t want your uncle who flew out from California to get kicked out)

Post # 10
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

On the invitations I’d just put “Black Tie” because dress codes are always optional (therefore “preferred” or “optional” are redundant).  If you feel the need to elaborate further you can do so on your wedding website.

Post # 11
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Brielle:  I think that technically you are correct, that you should only write “Black Tie”
You also raise the question of the “rules” of black tie, these are the rules that I know of,

  • a tuxedo is evening wear and should not be worn before 6 o’clock

 

  • a tuxedo may also be midnight blue which looks more black than black under indoor lighting

 

  • a white dinner jacket may be worn during the summer months

 

  • a jacket with tails is only worn for white tie events

 

  •  no boy that cannot dress himself should wear tuxedo and a little more broadly, children do not wear black.

 

Post # 12
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Zusie:  Oops. Well, then I unknowingly violated two more rules! Darling Husband and all of the groomsmen wore tails and were in white tie — including my ring bearer!

Post # 13
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

I would go with Black Tie Optional, it connotes that black tie is preferred, but if they don’t own a tuxedo, it is not strictly necessary and can come in a dark suit. That way, you don’t exclude people who don’t own or want to rent a tuxedo.

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