Post # 1
Wondering if anyone has done a blended family ceremony that didn’t include the sand pouring? Not a HUGE fan of that but I do want our girls (ages 12,11 and 10) to be included. I can already say that each of us will be saying vows to our respective new daughters. but I am interested in some other type of “ceremony” for the girls – other than the sand thing. 🙂 Any idea’s would surely be appreciated.
Post # 3
@QTDamsel: could you present them with a special piece of jewellery that’s a family piece – like matching mecklaces or special rings for them as well?
i’m not a big fan of the sand either.
Post # 4
@MsGinkgo: I like that idea, very much. Any idea’s on how to incorporate that into the ceremony? I am thinking we’d like to do vows to the kids as well. Hmmm …
Post # 5
There is something just like the sand ceremony where you pour it into the vases, but you then send it back to the company and they made blown glass sculptures out of it.. it’s really lovely but pretty expensive.
Post # 6
@QTDamsel: Perhaps you make promises to each other, then promises to your kids as a group – I’m not sure what you want to say (depends on if the other parents are still around I guess) but what you want them to know about this blended and family and what they mean to you (you promise to love them, be there for them no matter what…)
ETA – maybe talk to them and see what they would like. They’re old enough that they might have some ideas (with guidance) about what they would like to happen?
Post # 7
@QTDamsel: My parents both got remarried when my sister and I were about 8 and 10, and they both gave us rings as part of the ceremony. I’m not sure if it was after or before their own vows, but they gave us the rings and said some vows to us as well. My dad’s wedding was in a church, and the four of us (dad, stepmom, sister and I) were up at the front together the whole time. For my mom’s wedding I think my sister and I were seated with our aunt and uncle in the front row, and then went up after the vows for the rings.
It worked well for us because there were two kids and two parents, so one of them gave one of us the ring. For your three girls, maybe you could make vows to them all together, and then present them with a piece of jewelery one by one?
Post # 8
@QTDamsel: I have an 8 year old son and there will be no sand or “unity” ceremonies for us.
he will be standing next to me during the entire ceremony, and we will be presenting him with a gift and a personal statement of our love for him. however, we are not sharing vows with him as i don’t believe it’s appropriate/ethical for a child to make vows.
Post # 9
I’m not a fan of the sand pouring or the necklace exchange jazz. Nor do I want there to be promises made to my kids. But I do want them mentioned in the ceremony somehow. I’m writing the ceremony myself and i’m working on wording for how to include them very breifly. Something about it being a special day with the joining of man and wife yada yada, the day is made even more special by the creation of this new family as FI will now share in the lives of said children.
Post # 10
@QTDamsel: I’m not so fond of the sand either. I did go to a wedding years ago that did somethings pretty neat… after the couple kissed, the bride gave his son & daughter a flower from her bouquet (it was actually tied to the side with a ribbon) and announced: ” I give you this flower as a token of the love I share with your father, on this day as we become one family”. Just a thought that you might want something personal, you could also make an announcement at reception with a toast to them and maybe give a small figurine or keepsake.
Post # 11
For the Unity part of our ceremony we will be using the Unity Cross. Each one of my kids will place a peg in and my SO and I will do the 3rd one. It’s a reading that goes along with it. But when you place the pegs in you say something to the effect of The Father, The Son, & The Holy Spirit.
Post # 11
I ordered necklaces off of ETSY for blended families. It has all 5 of our names on an outter circle and established 2014 of the inner circle. I plan to give them these just before the wedding. Still haven’t figured out what to do for my son.
Post # 12
kaleko: I really appreciated your comment. The sand/candle/jewellery thing has never felt right to me so I’ve always wondered what to do, I think your plan sounds very beautiful but meaningful still. Thanks
Post # 13
I’m responding a little late but wanted to share our plans. We are doing a few things to incorporate our kids (my 11 year old and his 22 year old)…FHs son is one of his groomsmen, my son is walking me down the aisle. At the moment when the officiant normally asks “Who gives this woman” ours will ask,Who supports these two in their desire to join their lives together? and our sons will respond, “We do”. We have decided to do a ring warming and the boys are going to be the ones that carry the rings through out the rows of guests for that. Then FH’s son is giving a reading. We are doing the sand ceremony, my 11 year old really wanted to. We selected sand colors based on the meanings of the color. We purchased infinity bracelets for all four of us and will present them to the guys after the sand ceremony and then finish it with this:<br />
“As we are married on this day, we become part of each other;
your sorrows become my sorrows;
your happiness becomes mine;
your cares become my cares;
your children become my children.
With your help and support, I promise to be a true and faithful spouse and parent,
I promise to always be there to comfort you, rejoice with you,
and endure all the complexities of life that we will face together as a family.
My love for you, Brandon, and Shawn is pure and unshakable,
and I hereby commit myself to each of you from this day forward.”
FH’s ex isn’t in the picture so his son hasn’t really had a “mother figure” since he was very young…in the time that FH and I have been together he has told me that I’ve been more of a mom to him than his own mother. We have a very strong relationship as does my son and FH, so this all just makes sense for us.