(Closed) Blind Trust is not Trust

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, I agree with you completely. After all, it’s not as if we trust random strangers off of the street. Obviously, people have to earn your trust and it’s downright foolish to suppose that once they’ve earned it once they are now free to behave in any way they like. It’s only sensible that once trust is earned it has to continue to be earned. Suspicious or wrong behaviour is absolutely a reason to question trust. 

Post # 4
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is there a like button? I completely agree with that.

Post # 5
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I feel the same way!! I think different relationships function by different rules, etc, though. For example, some people here would want their SO to tell them if an ex contacted them. Me? I trust that he would deal with the situation appropriately, and he knows that I don’t want to hear about it and it would just upset me.

Post # 6
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

@cirrus: THIS! I agree. I can’t stand when people say, “I don’t have to question him because I trust him” it’s complete BS. I mean come on, unless you have an open relationship or open to the fact that he can have sex with someone else just so long as you don’t know about it. 

I can’t see anyone not wanting to know what their fiance was doing in Vegas on his bachelor party. I just can’t imagine most women who claim that they trust their partners to the fullest practice the don’t ask don’t tell policy.

Post # 7
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with you, but I’ve read many an opinion otherwise. I think it is because it really hurts to be called the “crazy girlfriend,” and it’s one way for the mean boys to control us… I’ve only had those signs and felt the need to check up on a guy once, and he was being a bad boyfriend and sure enough, I was accused of being “crazy.” My husband now wouldn’t care if I wanted to have a joint Facebook or anything, but he also isn’t doing anything suspicious. He sleeps at 2 am. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with your post 100%

Post # 10
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

totally agreed!  i like to hear the talk AND see the walk!!  and i would want him to do the same back to me, i don’t think anyone should blindly trust anyone else ever, that is just dumb.

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Rah, my post got eaten!

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Let’s try this again

@Just_Squeeze: totally agree with what you have said

 

@Mrs. Puffin: I damn sure would want to know if an ex contacted him, as I would do the same. No matter the reason, even if they were trying to get him back, i wouldn’t be mad at him, as long as he answered accordingly. I feel like not telling me is keeping things from me, which is a huge no no in my book. Openness and honesty are key to my relationship

Post # 14
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Just_Squeeze: I don’t know that its ever happened to me before, but now I’m irritated because I had to paraphrase, because I didn’t feel like typing the whole thing out again!

Post # 15
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Call it what you want but I seriously have 0 doubts in my Darling Husband. I don’t ask him what he did on his bachelor party because I know it was some combo of booze/gambling/food with a lapdance or two thrown in. If he says he was texting someone at 2am about work I would not ask to see his phone (I don’t even know how I’d know he was texting at 2am…) I will say I’ve never been cheated on (that I’m aware of) so maybe that’s why I feel the way I do?

Post # 16
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@Just_Squeeze: Thank you, I totally agree with this post. I find that women who blindly trust are also those that come out of the wood work crying about how their partner cheated and they don’t know how this could have happened/can’t believe it. Cheating is like any other disease…know the signs. Don’t ignore the signs if they are there.

 

On a side note:

I don’t know if I “blame” women necessarily. We live in a patriarchal society and I truly believe that men have made women question themselves and the validity of their actions–I.E. No one wants to be the “nagging” wife, or the “controlling” wife. Sorry buster, asking you to pick your dishes off the floor and put them in the sink isn’t nagging–it’s called cleanliness.

No man wants to be caught doing something wrong like cheating on their wife and I think they have made us so insecure about being the “bad wife” that many women choose to follow their men blindly and berate women who are smart enough to know that blind trust is a mistake.

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