- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I don’t understand what’s happening. I’ve married the man of my dreams, he is more than I could have ever asked for in a life mate. Emotionally intelligent, funny, generous, loving and the list goes on.
We married last month and it was the best day of both our lives. So much love and happiness and lots of joy, some of our guests are still talking about the wedding even now.
I don’t understand then why I am so sad.
In the last year I have suffered from severe anxiety. I have worked my fingers to the bone for a wonderful organisation that made a mistake for two years. One of my colleagues has had some bad luck over the last two years where she has been away the entire time. But they didn’t replace her so everything was left to me. I had tried to say something about replacing her but it was always left unresolved.
It has been the most stressful and beautiful two years of my life (DH and I met around 2.5 yrs ago). Work has really drained me and I feel I have little left to give. Financially I cannot quit since we have two mortgages. But anytime I have to go to work I am filled with anxiety. I have anxiety attack after anxiety attack while I’m there. I am now considering going part time so help alleviate some of the anxiety.
My bridesmaid and best friend has had some health issues since just before the wedding. I am a very sensitive person and now have some sympathetic symptoms of her illness. At this stage anytime I speak to her or even text message is giving me anxiety attacks. But she needs me and is already telling me she’s upset with me because I haven’t helped her through this situation. I’ve explained to her about my anxiety and she seems to understand but I know she’s still upset with me.
Our best man and his wife seperated for the fourth and what seems like the final time this week and we have really been their for them up until 2 weeks before the wedding. Their drama was causing us so much stress that we just had to cut off his wife because she was yelling and screaming around us and didn’t consider our stress levels at all with a wedding coming up so we had to take a step back. Yesterday she posted on FB that we are fake friends. This hurt my feelings because I feel I have bent over backwards to help her over this last year and because we had to take a step back she has labelled us as “fake”.
I have put on 30kgs since meeting my Darling Husband and I think this may be contributing to my feelings of sadness.
There are things going on with my family as well but I won’t bore you with more details, suffice to say I’m feeling the effects of a very unhealthy upbringing and my husband is trying to understand why I’m not myself around them.
I feel I’m not coping with everything going on right now. I need some support bee’s, maybe because of the holiday season and it’s probably subjective but I feel no one around me has the time to help me through this. Would love some input from a supportive space.
I am seeing a therapist at the moment as well but we haven’t broached the subject of my sadness as yet.
I am physically and emotionally exhausted at the moment so would appreciate some kindness and support.
Has anyone experienced anything like this after an amazing wedding and not to mention honeymoon.