(Closed) Blowing off some steam

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Stick to your plans that you have made. $169 is not bad at all for the price of a bridesmaids dress. If she is that concerned about it and the other bridesmaids are fine, you can offer to relieve her of her commitment to be a bridesmaid.

You are planning very far ahead, so people (ie your FIL’s can) suck it up and plan to save up, put aside the time, and budget to be at your wedding. They are likely just testing to see how much they can get away with with respect to pushing you in your wedding plans, because it seems like just one issue after another.

It really seems to me that your FSMIL is just testing you. Keep sticking to your plan and she will get the idea that you won’t be pushed around. 

Post # 4
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We got some grief from my husband’s family for having the wedding in my home state instead of theirs, but I said TFB: My parents are paying and helping me plan, so we’re having it where they live. Just politely remind them that this is why you’re giving them over a year’s notice, so they can plan ahead for the trip, and then let your Fiance deal with it. As long as you and he are on the same page, that’s what matters. Just my opinion, anyway.

Edit: Agreed with MsMini — seems like they’re testing you. Stick to your plans!

Post # 5
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ok that’s nuts, you just need to keep up with the plannning, don’t change anything, they will either fall in line, or choose.. and let me state that again.. their choice.. to not be a part. I know it would be hard if they made that decision, but again it’s their choice. You have found great deals so far, you should be proud of yourself.

 There are some times when you need to compromise, and things you have to let go, but not on every detail especially when it seems like every little thing annoys them.

Your doing a good job, just try to blow it off and let Fiance deal with them

Post # 6
484 posts
Helper bee

Agree with PP and just a tip – see your FMIL’s number on your cell phone/caller i.d.? Send her to voice mail! Don’t have caller i.d.? Get it! And then only return her call when your fiance is home.

Post # 7
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It’s fairly common that the bride get married in HER hometown. That’s what we’re doing, and the area I’m from is two hours away from where I live with Fiance and where most of his family is. It never crossed my mind to get married where we’re living now, because I’m just not familiar with the area and would not feel comfortable planning there. 

Your Fiance needs to talk to his family. Until he does? Don’t let your Future Mother-In-Law bully you into having the wedding SHE wants, not the wedding you want!

Post # 8
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Hang in there!!  In-laws can be tough going.

@Habibi’s advice is good, but sooner or later you will have to stand up to your Future Mother-In-Law.  

Post # 9
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Hang in there! Some people missed the lessons on how to be tactful and nice.

I don’t think that $169 is too much for a bridesmaid’s dress; however, $169 may be a lot of money to some people. Easy-going might not mean a thing if your bank account is hurting. Needless to say, if money is really a problem you could offer to pay for part of the dress, perhaps half. 

Otherwise, it sounds like you are getting some great deals and getting lots of details squared away to boot! 🙂 

Post # 10
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

$169 isn’t that much for a bridesmaid dress, but it’s a lot for a bridesmaid dress 14 months in advance. Hold off on those until you get back in December, if you can. People won’t mind as much then. Personally, I know that buying an expensive dress is part of the deal when I agree to be a bridesmaid, but I don’t expect to lay it out over a year in advance!

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