(Closed) Blusher veil for secondary virginity?

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@bridallily:  I would wear what you want to wear.  If you like the way it looks and feel that it is imporant to the life you and your FH live now, go for it.  It’s your wedding, do what fits for you.

Post # 4
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

A blusher has absolutely nothing to do with symbolizing virginity. Women were covered in material/veils to conceal their identity and possible deformities so the groom wouldn’t see just whom he married until after the marriage was official. This tradition predates the Old Testament and originated with arranged marriages between clans. 

With that, there is no reason for you not to wear a veil — the modern bride can wear a blusher, no blusher, no veil… it has no connected symbolism unless you’re concealing your identity in an arranged marriage. 

Post # 6
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@bridallily:  She’s right. Most wedding traditions have weird origins. Flowers, for example, were carried to mask the smell of the bride because people had terrible hygiene. And yes, the white wedding dress is relatively new.

Post # 7
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The tradition of a western bride wearing white is not particularly old — 1840, to be precise, when Queen Victoria married. Only the wealthy could wear white, as it was too difficult to clean such a light color and the dress could only be worn once. So she wore a white gown with some of her favorite lace to display her (and therefore England’s) wealth and status. 

Prior to this, western brides wore any color except black (death) or red (prostitution) and often wore blue as the symbol of purity. Most women wore a pretty dress they made or purchased, in no specific color.

In Eastern cultures, white symbolizes death and the brides traditionally wear red as the symbol of luck and prosperity. Gold as a color and an ornament is considered a requirement for bridal attire.

White has only recently come to symbolize purity/virginity in western cultures, largely due to popular Catholic misinterpretations of the New Testament and the clothing Mary wore.

As to the veils… they were first practical (lots of sun and sand in the desert), second modest (the more covered a woman was, the more modest she was), and third the reasons I stated above — concealing age, looks, identity, etc. in arranged marriages.

My sources? Well, I could e-mail you a copy of my 58-page thesis on marriage, I suppose, but that’s no fun. Try your local library. 

Post # 8
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and you have been set apart, and wiped clean then you are forgiven and therefore pure . Wear the blusher or a veil and also white-whatever you would like. Pretending that you aren’t worthy due to secondary virginity diminishes Jesus and His sacrifice. My source would be the Holy Bible, not society.

Post # 9
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the people who are at your wedding will love the experiance and ooh and ahhh over your outfit, and will likely not be judging over any theoretical meaning behind your veil. Seems like if that was someone’s first thought when they saw you, they’re a little snarky anyway and if it’s not that, theyd probably be judging on something else. So I say, feel beautiful, give your hubby to be his dream wedding experiance, and go for it!!

Post # 10
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m a virgin, and I am not wearing a blusher on my wedding day. I didn’t realize it was even symbolic. Pretty sure no one will notice if you do or do not wear one.

 @Eva Peron:  What she said 🙂

Post # 12
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

LOL to flowers masking the smell of bad hygiene!! Makes me view my bouquet in a whole new light!

Post # 13
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Eva Peron:  I agree with this.

 

Also, it’s really none of anyone’s business if you’re a virgin or not. It’s between God, and your husband and you. So wear what you want.

Post # 16
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@bridallily:  Why are you so concerned with public perceptions of you in general and your virginity in particular? As PPs have suggested, that’s between you, your body, your beliefs, and your husband. Passing judgement on a bride because she is or is not wearing a particular article of clothing, in a particular color, is for the small-minded. Ignore. Wear what you want and what makes you feel comfortable and beautiful.

My studies for that paper involved 18th-century representations of marriage, but obviously in order to understand the development of traditions, you have to ID their origin(s). My information comes from peer-revied articles and library copies of original documents, not a Google search. 

My responses were trying to give you the historical facts, in support of you wearing whatever you want and not getting hung up on the purported “symbolism” of it all. In your OP you said you wanted to wear a veil and blusher, but you were worried about how others would view it. Regardless of what your friends or relatives might *think* they know, it’s your wedding and you have the right to wear what you want. If it will have special meaning for you, then put “others” aside and wear it!!

 

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