Post # 1
I was dress shopping with one of my BMs yesterday, and saw her for the first time in over a year (since her wedding actually). The first thing she said after hugging me hello was, “OMG let me see your ring!”. The next thing was, “is it real?” (it is).
Now, I’ve known her for years so I wasn’t insulted or really even surprised, her tact tends to slip sometimes. But what happened after made me feel really bad. After I said it was real, she said “oh mine is CZ, Darling Husband paid like $30 for it”. I said, “well the sentiment behind it is real so that doesn’t matter!” and changed the subject. Then at least 4 times during the day she kept bringing up that her ring was CZ. After the second mention I complimented it and said how beautiful it is, that it has a vintage look to it and looks good on her hand, but she kept putting it down. She said “oh people tell me to buff it but why should I, it’s just CZ”, and “oh I wear it in the shower and don’t clean it, why should I, it’s not real”…things like that, and repeated the $30 price tag a few times.
It started to make me really uncomfortable! Did this ever happen to you? How did you handle it?
Post # 3
I’ve never had that happen to be, but I think what you said about how it’s the sentiment behind it that matters was great. I think what she did after must have been super awkward for you and everyone else. It doesn’t matter whether or not her ring is “real” but the fact that she kept saying something would definitely have made me feel uncomfortable!
Post # 3
Sounds like she’s very self conscious about her CZ. I wouldn’t worry about it. It just like when you have that friend who thinks she’s fat (and she’s not) and you constantly have to reassure her….
Post # 4
I don’t think there is really any particular way to “handle” it. If she’s insecure about her ring that’s her subject to tackle.
Post # 5
To me, it sounds like your friend is A) resentful her guy didn’t get her what she wanted (whether it be a diamond, other gem, or larger CZ) OR B) she’s insecure and is trying to overcompensate out of her own shame. Without knowing the situation, I’d feel awful for her FI; I take publicly dogging/air out issues as a huge sign of disrespect. Whether it’s wrong or right, the stigma of a man’s pride wrapped up in wanting the nicest thing (ie, thing she’s happiest with) for his lady is most (nearly) evident in an engagement ring; I can only imagine what he’d feel if he knew she were saying such things.
Of course, most people would never dare ask if it were real but someone once said here that if they ask if it’s real, you could reply with, “Nope, it’s a figment of your imagination”. Or something to that respect. I’d think it’d shut most people right up.
Post # 6
I don’t think there’s really any way to “handle” the situation. She’s clearly self-conscious & trying to over compensate & I think saying something will just make her feel worse.
Post # 7
I think you handled the situation very gracefuly. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, especially since you mentioned that she is a good friend. Just change the subject if it comes up again or mention to her that it makes you uncomfortable to discuss money or whatnot.
Post # 8
Luckily whenever she brought it up we were shopping alone (well in public but not around anyone we know) so I guess it could have even been more awkward. I just feel bad for her that she’s obviously so self conscious about it–I probably wouldn’t have even known had she not pointed it out and if she took care of her rings they would look 100x better.
They look kind of like these, they are actually very pretty:
Post # 9
never happened to me in that way…but a coworker once sad something about “must be nice with a rock that big”…my ring isn’t big, its normal which made it even more awkward.
I do know someone that wears a CZ on purpose and not her diamond cause she like the style more.