Post # 1
So one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man just infomed me that she can’t afford to be in my wedding. The wedding is still 8 months away. And she told me through a facebook message, not even a phone call. I don’t know what to do, I am very upset. Her and I have been best friends since we were in grade 7.
I didn’t ask her when I first got engaged because I wasn’t sure if I could rely on her. Against my better instincts, I decided I wanted her in the wedding over another very good friend. Big mistake.
My other friend, who I didn’t ask, but always wanted to told me that she was surprised and a little upset that I didn’t ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. We had a talk in the summer about how she was supposed to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man #4 but my fiance couldn’t think of a fourth groomsman. Since then, she has been asked to b a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my other friends wedding, which is six days after mine.
I should have asked her from the beginning, but I didn’t. I don’t know how or if I can ask her now without her feeling like a total replacement Bridesmaid or Best Man, like a back up, or a second choice. I dont know what to do, and I feel like me, my fiance, my Maid/Matron of Honor and our parents should alljust run away and we should elope.
I am so discouraged and so upset. I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Atleast she let you know now instead of right before your wedding. I would leave the numbers uneven and ask your other friend to do a reading.
Post # 4
Yes. it’s upsetting. But, she did give you adequate notice. I wouldn’t hold it against her that she told you on Facebook. Some people have a real hard time talking about their financial situation face to face.
Post # 5
can you help pay for her dress? or even lend loan her the money. If that’s the only reason she can’t be a bridesmaid, I think maybe you can spot her. I think if anything, instead of getting her a gift, you give her the cashe to help her get the dress…that way you can still have her be a part of your big day. 🙂
Post # 6
That was right of her to tell you now rather than later, and really weddings can cost a lot of money. I’m sure it was harder for her to say than it was for you to hear!
If you guys are close enough to where you can help her out, that is an option but it appears like your are upset b/c you feel like you are close but also indicated that you witheld from asking her right away. So maybe you really aren’t sure how yo feel?
Also bridal parties do NOT have to be even. Inviting people into your party b/c someone dropped out can be dicey-its pretty obvious how they got the offer 😉
Post # 7
yeah, I wouldn’t take it personally. Just pick someone else. You can even swallow your pride and tell your other friend what happend and that you realize now who you can count on and who you can’t…and just ask her to be in your wedding. Some people bite off more than they can chew. Some people just aren’t good at this kind of stuff and should just learn to say no when asked for favors.