(Closed) BM being kind of a pain…Vent

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i can think of two possible options:

– either she can stick with the dress as ordered or not be in the wedding at all, or

– she can pay for the whole thing herself (including the total cost of the dress as ordered, do not pay for half if she is doing this) and ask her to pay for the other bridesmaid dresses to be altered to, so they all look similar

 

Post # 4
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

too*

Post # 5
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

she needs to be reminded that it’s your wedding, not hers

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would let her know that she can either:

1) Wear the dress as is (with only the alterations necessary to make it fit)

2) Alter the dress how she wants, but she’ll have to pay the full purchase price and depending on how drastically the dress is being altered you may have to ask her to step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man

Post # 8
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s hard to deal with 🙁  Try and let her know you want a uniform look with your bridesmaids and she had a chance to say she didn’t like it!  If she still insists on changing it drastically tell her she can’t unless she spays to have the other girls dresses changes as well!

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I woudl just roll my eyes and let it go.  I might talk to her about the payment issues though.  Did you ask them for budgets before you chose the dress?  If not, you may be stuck still paying for the half.  Alterations can be expensive, but not always.  Maybe she has a friend who is a seamstress who is changing it for free.  Find out the story from HER, and ask her to stop communicating to you through your Fiance.  Presumably she is your friend, if she needs to talk to you about wedding stuff then she should talk to YOU.

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